After Josh it was Justin’s turn to meet the parents well for Josh that meant one parent; his mother. Justin was nervous just like Josh had been but it was so different from Josh’s encounter with his parents and although Justin couldn’t imagine Josh’s mom to be so mean and degrading as his parents where that didn’t mean Justin was less nervous about it.
“Josh, what if she hates me?” Justin asked pulling back slightly. They’d been dating for a couple of months now and they were still so much in love, maybe even more than when they’d first started dating. Justin’s parents had dropped the ‘I don’t like that boy, Josh’ issue a few weeks after he’d joined them for diner and Justin met up with him as much as possible.
They’d learned a lot about each other in the last few weeks, Justin had finally gotten the nerve to ask Josh why he needed so many jobs when he was still so young. Why wasn’t he in college like all the other boys of his age? Josh never brought it up and Justin figured it wasn’t something he liked to talk about but once again his curiosity got the better of him.
“Josh?”
“Mmhmm?” Josh responded, absent-mindedly.
“Why are you not in college?” Justin blurted, looking at Josh for his reaction; his shoulders slumped and he got that sad look in his eyes he always got when he talked about his jobs. Josh turned his back on him as he busied himself with fixing them something to drink,
“Because I can’t afford it” he said softly, ashamed.
“But you got two jobs” Justin said incredulously. Josh didn’t answer him, making Justin jump to hasty conclusions,
“You’re not on drugs are you?” Ok he didn’t know much about drugs but he did know it’d cost a lot of money; at least that was the TV-shows had taught him.
“No!” Josh said quickly, eyebrows raised, shaking his head, spinning around to look him in the eye, wondering where he would get that idea.
“The money is not for me” Josh admitted softly, looking at his boyfriend.
“You got gambling debts? Or is someone blackmailing you? Is it extortion?” Justin asked, wild scenarios going through his head.
“No, no” Josh said shaking his head again, chuckling slightly,
“You watch too much TV, Justin” Josh laughed.
“I know… but if it’s not that then why do you need the money?” he asked confused, all his possible answers were proven wrong and he was a bit afraid why he really needed the money. Josh sighed, walking over to Justin, sitting next to him on the couch,
“It’s for my mom, she’s well… she’s sick or she was… well she still is but…” Josh sighed deeply, his shoulders slumped.
“It’s ok, Josh. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to” Justin said reassuringly, rubbing his back with one hand while the other rested securely on his bicep.
“My mom got sick a few years ago, she has rheumatism, she got treated which made it better but it can’t be completely cured and it will only get worse. The treatment, you know the hospital bills cost all of her life savings. My dad died a long time ago so it was just the two of us. I couldn’t take care of her at home, she needed professional care and I couldn’t provide that so I took her to this nursing home. They’re really great but…. expensive and since all our money was gone with the treatment I needed to take care of the money so she could stay there. That’s why I got all those jobs” he smiled a small smile, searching his boyfriend for a reaction.
“I’m sorry Josh” he whispered, drawing him into a hug. They rocked back and forth for a while till Josh pulled back, wiping his eyes,
“It’s ok” he said trying to brush it off but Justin wouldn’t let him,
“Let me help you” he said curtly, it wasn’t really a question, more like a statement.
“No” Josh refused, shaking his head, brushing away the last tears that slid down his cheeks.
“Why not? I want to help you” Justin said, not letting Josh turn his offer down. He wanted to help him, whether Josh wanted it or not.
“No Justin” Josh said a little fiercer this time, a little fiercer than he’d intended and he could see the hurt look on Justin’s face.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you like that but…. your parents already hate me the way I am, don’t make it worse, be glad they let us see each other, please” Josh said, his explanation clear but he ended with a plea. Josh was perfectly aware of the fact that Justin’s parents weren’t all that pleased with him being Justin’s ‘friend’. He’d seen the looks Justin’s father would throw at him when Justin wasn’t looking and they made him cringe every time he caught them. The ‘you’re not good enough for my son’ looks and it hurt Josh. He didn’t want to let Justin’s father make him feel that way but he couldn’t stop it.
Justin’s face faltered, he’d been hurt and a little angry Josh wouldn’t let him help him. He figured it had to do with pride and he was willing to beat the pride out of him so he would accept his help but now he understood it didn’t have anything to do with pride.
“But if I just explain why…” Justin started, not wanting to give up so easily, thinking if Josh was worried about his parents; Justin could handle that.
“No, Justin” Josh interrupted, he was so naïve, Josh thought, but that was why he loved him.
“Just don’t” he added softer with a shake of his head.
“I love you” Josh said, kissing him gently, drawing him closer, hoping Justin would forget about it. Of course he didn’t, Justin was determined to help his boyfriend and when he came home that afternoon he immediately went in search of his father.
“Dad?!” Justin yelled after he closed the front door.
“Dad?!” he yelled louder when he got to the living room.
“Dad?!” he yelled again when he got to the kitchen and still no sign of his father.
“Justin, why the hell are you yelling like that? Where’s the fire?” an angry voice asked him sternly. Justin swirled around, facing his father,
“No fire, dad. I was just looking for you”
“You look with your eyes Justin, you don’t look by yelling” he lectured. Justin stopped himself from rolling his eyes; it was a disrespectful gesture, one that his father certainly did not appreciate.
“Yes, father” he said instead.
“Good, now what do you need?” his father said approvingly, before going back to the matters at hand.
“I wanted to talk to you about something”
“What is it?”
“Well…. I have this friend and well he’s kinda in need….” he rushed, getting the words out in the hope his father wouldn’t hear it but would agree anyway.
“In need of what, Justin?” his father asked in a low tone of voice, suspicious of this request just by the way Justin was acting.
“Money?” Justin answered carefully.
His father’s eyebrows rose knowingly when he asked, “Who is the friend?”
Justin squirmed under his father’s gaze, “Um… Josh?”
His father’s laugh was scoffing, “No way, Justin”
“Dad, please, his mother is ill and he’s working two jobs to take care of her, he hardly has cash for a decent meal”
“Ah! A sad story, I’m disappointed in you son. I thought you would be able to see through that”
“No dad, it isn’t like that!” Justin said exasperated, sighing dramatically.
“Watch it son,” Howard warned his son,
”You’re this close to a week’s grounding” his father said, putting his index finger and thumb merely inches apart to visualize his words. Justin’s shoulders slumped,
“Fine, sorry I asked” he mumbled before heading up to his room quietly.
He didn’t mention it to Josh till he accidentally blurt it out one day. Josh had been angry but grateful as well. He knew Justin had meant well, he just hoped he didn’t make it worse for them. Justin had assured him that he didn’t and that his dad had long forgotten about it, Josh just hoped he was right.
They never talked about Josh’s mom’s illness after that, till Josh said he wanted Justin to meet his mother. And different from Justin, Josh wanted to introduce his mother to not a friend like Justin had introduced him but as boyfriend. Justin was weary at first; why would she want to meet him? Josh had told him, he wanted his mother to meet the man he loved. Justin had protested even harder after that, she wouldn’t accept it he’d said. But Josh had carefully told him that his mother knew he was gay.
The look on Justin’s face when he asked, “And she’s ok with that?!” was almost hilarious if it wasn’t so heartbreaking. It was then that Josh first realized how afraid Justin was that his parents would take it bad when he would tell them he was gay. How unimaginable it was for him to think that someone would just accept it and how scared he was for their reaction.
“She won’t hate you Justin,” Josh reassured him.
“How would you know!” he spat at Josh.
“Justin, listen,” Josh started calmly drawing him closer, settling his arms around the young boy who was so insecure it hurt him.
“She won’t hate you, I promise. She’ll love you just like I do” he said with a smile, leaning in for a kiss. Justin relaxed slowly in Josh’s arms and Josh felt it in the kiss, when they pulled back Josh ruffled Justin’s hair playfully before pulling him up the stairs with him.
Inside, Justin looked around with big blue eyes, Josh had been right; it was a really nice place but how expensive it would be. He was proud of Josh in some way, proud that he put his needs aside to make sure his mother had the best of the best. He’d have to remember to tell him that he thought as Josh nudged in him the side.
“Here’s my mother’s room” Justin tensed visibly, Josh noticed it. Josh took Justin’s hand in his as he knocked with his free hand.
They heard a weak, “Come in” and Josh pushed the door open greeting his mother with a sunny smile.
“Hi mom, how are you feeling?” he asked pulling Justin in with him.
“I’m ok, Joshua. I’m so glad to see you” she said happily, slowly stretching her painful arms toward her son so she could embrace him in a hug. Josh released Justin’s hand as he let his mother embrace him. Justin watched the two, lost for words and blinking back tears. The love radiated off of them and it heated the room, Justin patiently waited till they’d acknowledge him, he didn’t want to ruin the beautiful scene in front of him.
“Oh,” Josh said, pulling back but holding onto his mother’s hand, wiping the tears with the other before he extended his hand for Justin to take. Justin slowly walked towards the bed and grasped his hand.
“Mom, I want you to meet my boyfriend Justin. Justin this is my mother”
Mary beamed, “Ooh my” Mary said putting a hand in front of her mouth. Justin mistook it, frantically searching eye contact with Josh, wanting him to say it was alright that she wasn’t angry or disgusted. Josh simply put the two hands of the people he loved together and Justin was utterly surprised when the woman slowly pulled him into a hug. He could see the pain written on her face but she bit it back, she embraced the young boy,
“I’m so glad to meet you Justin” she said proudly as she released him. The embrace was the last thing he’d expected but he was so glad it happened,
“You too, Mrs. Chasez”
“Oh call me Mary honey” Justin smiled in return.
The rest of the visit was spent talking about how they’d met, she wanted to know it all and Justin was happy he could share it with her. He wished he could tell his parents about how he found the love of his life and how happy they were but he knew they wouldn’t be as open and acceptive about it as this wonderful woman.
They were asked to leave when visiting hour was over; she really needed to rest, her emotions, although good, wore her down. Josh gave her a brief hug and kissed her cheek before he waited at the door for Justin to catch up.
“Take care of my son for me” Mary said softly to Justin when he embraced the woman.
“I will” he said with an encouraging smile.
“See you soon” Josh said as Justin slipped passed him out the door.
“She’s amazing” Justin commented when they walked down the hallway to the staircase.
Josh nodded sadly, “Yeah she is”
They walked in silence for a while, “You want to hang out at the mall for a little while? I got a few hours till my shift starts” Josh suggested, willing away the sad mood they were both in.
“Yeah” Justin answered with a smile, kissing him quickly.
