Phoebe (to Monica): Wait! Does he eat chalk? Just because I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl.

Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. Did I say that out loud?

Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman sobbing at 3AM "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren!" Was what? A wrong number?

Rachel: And that's when it hit me! How much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Ya know, I mean, I always knew he looked familiar.

Rachel (to her father over the phone): Well maybe I don't need your money. Wait, wait! I said maybe!

Ross: It's Paul the Wine Guy!
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or he just complains a lot?

Phoebe: Ooo... I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.

Guys: Hey Phoebs, you wanna help?
Phoebe: Oh, gee, I wish I could, but I don't want to.

Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however, have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing, at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!

Rachel: See! But Joanie loved Chachi! That's the difference!

Chandler: Alright kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers... it doesn't make much of a difference.

Joey: Of course it was a line!
Monica: Why? Why? Why would anyone do something like that?
Ross: I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated then, "to get you into bed."

Monica: Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You're gonna love it.

Monica: Hey! What are you so happy about?
Ross: I just grabbed a spoon.