Here's the jokes page. I am hereby removing myself from being sued for being racist, because I make fun of like countries all over the world anyway. I call them as I hear them. The jokes, I mean. I don't make em up, I merely sit there in science with my buds writing em down as they come. I hereby REMOVE myself from any emotional damage caused by reading this page.
And if you don't give a rat's rear about racism or anything else, and just want laughs, then keep reading.
The Mexican weatherman came on this morning and said the following: "There is lots of fog and low lying clouds and no sharks and nooo...coast guard. It is a good day to cross the river!" *wink wink*
Michael Jackson is suing his record producer for being racist, but the lawyers can't figure out which race he's talking about.
A Cuban, Chinese, and an American are in a raft for Florida. The raft starts to sink. The American shouts, "Throw out whatever you have the most of in your country!" The Cuban throws over cigars, the Chinese throws over rice, and the American throws out the Cuban.
This lady goes into the veteranarian's office with a parrot and asks the doctor to take a look at it. He says, "Well, it looks dead to me." She asks him if he's sure and he nods and walks away. He returns a few minutes later with a labrador retriever and a cat. He shows the bird to the cat, which sniffs it twice and walks away. Then he shows the bird to the lab, who sniffs it a couple times and walks away. "Yep, it's dead." Then the lady asks, "Is there any fee for this?" So the doctor says, "Yes. You have to pay for the lab work and the cat scan."
President Bush goes over to Iraq to meet with Saddam Hussein, and goes into Saddam's office and sits down, noticing three buttons on Saddam's chair. He shrugs and says hello. "Saddam Hussein, with all this trouble with the war and the U.N. and everything, you need to get rid of all your war planes." Saddam laughs and says, "No way." He presses the first button and a fake fist come out of Saddam's desk, hitting Bush in the face. Bush regains his composure, with a sore eye, and says, "You also need to get rid of all your tanks." Again, Saddam laughs and says, "No way." He presses the second button, and a fake hand comes out of the desk and slaps Bush right across the face. Bush regains his composure, with a sore cheek, and says, "You also need to destroy all your weapons of mass destruction." Once more, Saddam laughs, says "No way," and presses a button. This time a boot kicks Bush out of the chair and onto the floor. "Okay, fine," says Bush. "You meet with me at my office next week." So the next week they're in Bush's office, and Bush has three buttons. Saddam says, "You need to get rid of your planes." This time, Bush presses a button. Saddam gets all defensive and covers his face, but nothing happens. He shrugs and says, "You also must get rid of your tanks." Again, Bush presses a button, and Saddam covers himself, but nothing happens. "O...kay...You also need to destroy any weapons of mass destruction you have." Once more, Bush presses a button. And once more, nothing happens. "Okay, you're psycho!" shouts Saddam. "I'm going back to Iraq!" Then Bush laughs. "What Iraq?"
How many Frenchman does it take to defend Paris? No one knows; it's never been tried.
Why did the chicken cross the road? - George Bush's answer: We don't really
care why the chicken crossed the road, we just want to know if the chicken is
on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here. Saddam's answer - It was an unprovoked act of
rebellion and we were quite jusified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. Martin Luther King Jr. - I envision a world in which chickens will be able to cross roads without their motives being caught into question. Ernest Hemmingway - To
die in the rain alone...
You know the world is off tilt, when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest basketball player is Chinese, and Germany doesn't want to go to war!
You read about all these terrorists, most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and these people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
