Here are, obviously, quotes that I have collected. Some are my own, some I've heard and can't quite place where I got them. Some of them aren't really quotes but I didn't wanna make a whole new page for em. They seem to find a home here... ^_^ Have fun!
"Birds of a feather eat the same crap."
"Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change."
"It's too bad, really. Nuclear war could ruin my whole day."
"That's no light of hope at the end of the tunnel. It's the train."
"I see dumb people. They're everywhere. They're too dumb to know that they're dumb..."
"It was Edgar Allan that put the 'Poe' in 'poetry.'"
"Zigga zigga zah za!"
"Yo kokomo!"
"Talk is cheap, silence is golden, and yelling is platinum."
"Duct tape is cool because it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together."
"Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small and enkindles the great." --Comte Debussy Rabutin
"Love will die if held too tightly; love will fly if held too lightly."
"A musical wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for all the singing."
"Truedat!"
"It's fight or flight."
"You must keep in mind that friends worth having will, in the long run, expect as much from you as they give to you." --Elizabeth Jackson
"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before..." --Edgar Allan Poe
"Just keep your head down, and keep writing..."
"Change, like death, is inevitable."
"I did my best. That's all anyone can ever ask for. But what can I do if my best sucks?"
"Is it stronger to hold on or let go?"
"Death is worth waiting for."
"Would I lie to the one I love?"
"If some dumb cousin of mine can go to MIT, then so can I!"
"Kinberg's spit valve is broken, but he holds the sound. Yours is broken, but you don't hold the sound. Now, where are your paper towels?" --my trombone teacher, Kevin
"Never stop asking questions."
"Vampires are really albino people."
"You don't fight in church. You don't fight in public. You wait until you get home to fight."
"You don't want to kill them, you just want to mortally wound them."
"Schizophrenia beats being alone."
"It's worse to feel lonely when you're not alone than to feel lonely when you are alone."
"I won't tell you that I don't talk, because that would be talking."
"Did any chicken cross the road and cause people to wonder why?"
"Just once, I'd like to see a black and white rainbow."
"Even Hitler would have gotten bored if he'd accomplished his goal."
"Death is life's way of telling you you're fired, and I'm still too young to get a job."
"I sense an impending government conspiracy. Time to get my tinfoil hat blocked."
"In my opinion, your opinion doesn't matter."
"Why on earth does the word 'abbreviation' need an abbreviation?"
"Life sucks. Get a leaf blower."
"The only lie I've been living is the search for truth."
"This is the twenty-first century. No one's that honest anymore."
"You're not an amateur. You're an amateur wannabe!"
"If at first you don't succeed, act like an idiot and keep trying."
"First I'll cry me a river, then I'll drown myself in it."
"From now on I'll reserve breaking up strictly for cell phone connections."
"Don't drive faster than your guardian angel can fly."
"I am Thomas, also known as Didymus. I'll wash my own feet!"
"Riding a motorcycle with a beard is like swimming without getting wet."
"Two in the head, and you know he's dead."
"Never play dodgeball with moving traffic."
"You don't marry your friend. It just doesn't work that way."
"Hope helps you cope."
"I'm very patient; I just don't like waiting on things."
"Meet the tree!"
"I'm not afraid of change; I'm afraid of myself."
"I know what's going on in the CIA...I watch Alias!"
"Neo turned Agent Smith into smithereens."
"I hope your life is like toilet paper--long and useful."
"The C.S. in C.S. Lewis stands for Charlie Says."
"When I'm as smart as everyone here put together, maybe they won't laugh at me. That should be by next week."
"You're meesed up."
"I don't conform to the norm."
"There are three kinds of people in this world--the kind that can count and the kind that can't."
"There's a dog in my soup!"
"There's a dog in my coffee!"
"Ankles were considered porn in the 1800's. That's just weird."
"Smile, you're not dead yet."
"That never happens, but I love it when it does."
"Suicide's bad, but murder's okay."
"It's exactly like the pink one, except it's not pink."
"You're overly critical, have no sympathy, and your own mother says you have a heart of stone. Oh well, you'd be a good killer."
"Quail!"
"Once you've hit rock bottom, you can't go anywhere but up."
"I'm not delirious right now; I'm just happy."
"Love takes time, but I'm willing to wait."
"Follow the shoes!"
"I was looking at the stars one night and giving each one a reason why I love you. I was doing great...until I got stuck on the third star, realized you suck, and gave up on you."
"That's just, as they say, wrong."
"That's a good quote. Hand me my PDA."
"Someday I'll write a book. I'll call it 'Quotable Quotes: My Years on the Internet.'"
"You don't mean that...I saw the commercial!"
"If you feed them, they will come."
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."
"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the net and he won't bother you for weeks."
"A day without sunshine is like...night."
"Are you too gullible? We can cure you! Send $1,000 to..."
"Hey, just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I"
"Please leave a message at the beep. If you don't hear the beep, please leave."
"I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!"
"If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?"
"I'm not paranoid... but I know that you think I am."
"Happy people don't commit murder."
"Never from the lips of man have words flowed so sweetly."
"If a car comes, you can...uh, well, you can move."
"Bring on the weird."
"I just remembered something I forgot to remember."
"That math teacher was Greek, so I really didn't pay attention."
"I don't use a measuring cup for scrambed eggs, Rice Krispies, pop-tarts, or toast. How should I know where it is?"
"Hugs are drugs."
"Two in the head, you know he's dead; three in the head, no identification."
"Sometimes my opinion isn't worth giving."
"Playing on the computer underwater is fun!"
"I'm not one to stand in the way of truth."
"Some things are better forgotten."
"When push comes to shove, push right back."
"Love takes time, but I'm willing to love you."
"Keep your face to the sunshine...and get a lot of freckles."
"What luck for rulers that men do not think."--Adolf Hitler
"Savor the flavor!"
"Law and Order? I don't even get the Scooby Doo mysteries!"
"If anyone tried to hurt you, I'd get my BB gun and my machete and leave the rest up to the imagination."
"Yoda, I am not."
"Let's send the flute-o's to Pluto."
"Get your own girlfriend."
"This song is addictive...it's either really good or contains nicotine."
"We're watching a basketball game and you ask me who the tall guy is."
"Scandanavia is made up of Denmark, Finland, Sweden, and Norwegia."
"There is a fine line between psyched and psycho."
"The best way to learn is to teach."
"Keep your chin up, and miss all the coins on the ground."
"Ish!"
"Death is in pieces in my hand."
"Quotes are like rabbits--they multiply."
"This is our house--welcome to it."
"Ever get the feeling that someone was watching you...and then turn around and find that there was someone watching you?"
"All we really have is the element of surprise. If we lose that, we're toast."
"He loved one and forgave none."
"She's all singing, and the bird's all singing, and poof."
"You lost the quote! NO!"
"The spiral from my notebook just...left."
"All I can remember is the punch line, which was 'Bob.'"
"Save a life! I'll take yours..."
"We have fast internet service...it's frightening."
"Braces are like parents...they're annoying, but sometimes you need them for a while, and some people need them longer than others."
"You can't really know happy until you get to know hurt, depression, and anger."
"Never call a political criminal a common thief."
"I missed you while you were gone. Now that you're back, let me try to hit you again."
"I am punkatated, spunkatated, funkated."
"Love happens many times, but only once is it real."
"Why accept the consequences if I can avoid them?"
"McDonald's is unhealth food at it's best."
"You know it's love when it feels like Pixy Stix are being main-lined straight to your heart."
"You're with the band? Oh, I'm sorry."
"I'd like 4 tacos, just beef and cheese, only beef and cheese, just beef and cheese. No, not lettuce, I only want beef and cheese!"
"You're not white, are you? Oh, my bad."
"I'm a sexy beast in a tuxedo."
"Life's a trip; don't miss any landmarks on the way to your destination."
"Who protects the protectors?"
"We played a good game; the opposing team didn't break fifty!"
"Habits are almost easy to break; addictions are near to impossible."
"It freakin' takes two to tango, danggit!"
"Attack of the killer shrew!"
"Attack of the killer spoon!"
"I thought I was in love before, but then I met you, and it proved everything wrong."
"I must resurge the ist to do that."
"God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."
