Atlanta, GA: A man was issued a citation yesterday for using a handicapped accessible toilet at a local Mexican restaurant. The ticket of $100 was issued according to the Atlanta Police Department, because the man was in direct violation of the 1990 Americans with Disabilities Act. “He was using a bathroom stall that was reserved for people with disabilities, yet this man had none,” said bathroom patrol deputy Donnie Trueblood. “Although the stall is not specifically marked as reserved for the handicapped, its wide door and higher toilet were put in place so that anyone in a wheelchair could ‘do their business.’” When asked why he used that toilet, the local man without remorse stated, “I always use the handicrapper, it’s like shitting on a throne. And besides what are the chances of someone in a wheelchair actually being able to get to the bathroom in the first place, let alone timing their bowels with mine?” The man plans to contest the ticket in court next month. “This is ridiculous,” said the man. “The only way I’m gonna have to pay this ticket is if the judge is in a wheelchair.”