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Funny Quotes
Mark Twain
Albert Einstein
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban
His ignorance is encyclopedic.
- Abba Eban
Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work.
- Thomas A. Edison
We don't know a millionth of one percent about everything.
Thomas A. Edison
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls, and looks like work.
- Thomas A. Edison
Show me a thoroughly satisfied man, and I will show you a failure.
- Thomas A. Edison
He that never changes his opinions, never corrects his mistakes, will never be wiser on the morrow than he is today.
- Tryon Edwards
Albert Einstein
We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Americans, indeed all freemen, remember that in the final choice, a soldier's pack is not so heavy a burden as a prisoner's chains.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I think that people want peace so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
You do not lead by hitting people over the head - that's assault, not leadership.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.
- George Eliot
Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
- T. S. Eliot (1888-1965)
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
- T. S. Eliot
This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
- T. S. Eliot
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
- Professor Scott Elledge on his retirement from Cornell
A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
- Duke Ellington
Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
- Walter Elliott
What we call "morals" is simply blind obedience to words of command.
- Havelock Ellis
Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
Guard well your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds. Discard them and their value will never be known. Improve them and they will become the brightest gems in a useful life.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Vigor is contagious, and whatever makes us either think or feel strongly ads to our power and enlarges our field of action.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Always do what you are afraid to do.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I like the silent church before the service begins, better than any preaching.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Hitch your wagon to a star.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The reward of a thing well done is to have it done.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Every man I meet is in some way my superior.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Patience and fortitude conquer all things.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man is known by the books he reads.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.
- Epictetus
War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.
- Desiderius Erasmus
There's a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me.
- John Erskine
Millions long for immortality but do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
- Susan Ertz
I don't use drugs; my dreams are frightening enough.
- M.C. Escher
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
- Euripides
The camera cannot lie. But it can be an accessory to untruth.
- Harold Evans
Failing doesn't make you a failure. Giving up, accepting your failure, refusing to try again does.
- Richard Exely