P U L S E L E G I O N

I recently interviewed two of the members of pulse legion, who this past year released thier highly acclaimed album, "evolve" on COP international. In this interview Sam and Jason discuss thier experiences thus far as "pulse legion"

micHELLe: Who would you consider your biggest influences?

SAM: I consider Menudo, NKOTB, Shai, Juice Newton, Barry White, the Backstreet Boys, Another Bad Creation, Tiffany, Martika, and Wham to be my biggest influences.

Jason: On a non-musical level, my greatest influence, and inspiriation for that matter, was this poor little parapalegic girl from N.Y. She asked for money and when i asked where her parents were she pointed to this little spider monkey and said "nana." that touched me deeply and we've decided to donate our next big chunk of non-existent money to help pay for her prosthetics. i know what Tet ' 68 was like, man, i feel your pain. As far as music goes, Sam and i pretty much came from the same background-Katrina and the Waves, Isaac Hayes, Debbie Gibson, A-Ha, Kriss-Kross, Lipps Inc.; all the staples. Viva Gorditas!!

micHELLe: How did you go about getting signed?

SAM: We gave a tape to the intern for COP at thier vending booth at the IndustroRave, COP called us and asked us if we were signed which unfortunaltely we werent at the time so we said, "Ahh what the fuck why not" and signed with them and as soon as we did we heard this giant door slam and this really sadistic laughter and everyone turned into financially disadvantaged vixens and penniless hounds of hell. From then on we knew we were doomed.

Jason: ehh, whatever Sam says on that one, I came after that-i was busy jerking off with all the cacti and college kids in AZ. Viva Gorditas!!

micHELLe: How do you all pay your bills?

SAM: We don't. Pretty soon our electricity and phone is gonna get shut off. Help us. Please. For only pennies a day, for the price of a cup of coffee you can help us. We can continue to have nutritious meals, much needed drugs and electricity to power our equipment to keep bringing our musical joys to the earth.

Jason: Bills?? What Bills? We fired both of those guys a long time ago. It was so confusing having two of them around, and neither one of them could stand being called Will or William, or even Bill, so we got Bob and Neil, and they work just fine. Viva Gorditas!!

micHELLe: How do you think your music has changed or evolved since you first got started?

SAM: Very much so. We originally aspired to be a Kool Mo Dee cover band but Failed misreably at that.

Jason:The music seems to be getting alot moodier. There is still alot of styles being experimented with and different things being tried. I did get the "Evolve" pun, by the way. But Goddamn, that Wild, Wild West cover just totally went to shit, didn't it? We've gotten back to our roots, definitely. The Fat Boys, man, that's where it's at, Viva Gorditas!!!

micHELLe: Have you started work on any new material?

SAM: We are always working on new material. Somebody is always working on something, when album time rolls around we tally all the songs up and pick which ones we think should be redone and released.

Jason: I've developed a brand new Cotton-Vinyl hybrid. What I dig about it is that it's shiny and still fashionable and functional to wear when it's hot and you're sweaty from dancing all night. No more peeling those pants off after a night out at the club. The cotton really lets your skin breathe more.

micHELLe: 3 words to describe your "equipment"?

SAM: a coctail olive

Jason: We Need Money.

micHELLe: Who in Pulse Legion has the firmest most manly handshake?

Sam:John. Should be me since I exercise my hand the most, but nope its not.

Jason: I have to dispute Sam on that one. I think i have the firmest handshake, but i'm not in the mood to have a hand-shaking contest with these guys, especially not John. It's been awhile since either of us has seen our girlfriends. And i definitely don't want another Jack-Off contest with Sam. Last time it turned into a full-fledged sword fight. It was not pretty.Viva Gorditas!!

micHELLe: What is your favorite Bobcat Golthwait movie?

SAM: One Crazy Summer

Jason: Oh man, what're you thinkin' Sam??!! While I agree that that was a dope-ass movie, Hot To Trot was definitely Bob's shining moment. Dabney Coleman was in that movie, too. He was in 9 to 5, also, with Dolly Parton. Yeah. OH MY GAWD!!! THAT"S A BIG TOMATUH!!!! Viva Gorditas!! A talking horse. My god what a stroke of brilliance!! Whooda thunk it?!!

micHELLe: I've just bought you the I'Gia hair removal kit. Where do you use it first?

SAM: Havent used it yet. If you use it on your bikini line does it kill the pubic mites?

Jason: Oh man, that's a tough one, since I'm on a quest to completely rid myself of hair completely> If i had that thing, it's be like a fuckin' day at the park. I wouldn't know where to start, but most likely it'd be my balls. Viva Gorditas!!

micHELLe: Favorite Golden Girl and why.

SAM: Estelle Getty. Does THAT girl have an ASS! oh man i could rock her world. If i could'nt rock her world I could at least knock her out, bury her in the desert and collect her residuals and social security checks.

Jason: Yup, Sam's got the right idea on this one. Man, how i would love to throw her legs up in the air!! I'd fuck the dogshit outta her. She's just got that dirty old lady look, ya know?? She's a hottie. I'd like to have a big body-builder type hold her face down in a pile of cowshit while I rock that shit from the backside, baby. Viva...... nevermind.

micHELLe: Midgets. yay or nay?

SAM: Yay of course. Midgets make he world go round. They are unique because alot of them are missing a knuckle. Alot of midgets are actually employed by Nazis though. They are great pets and thier favorite food is cheddar logs coated in crackers with jujubes implanted in them that is thier lifesource. Beware though, for if you feed them too many cheddarlog cracker jujuchews they can overpower you. They have heightened senses and they are not afraid to use them to infiltrate the media, much like the taco bell chihuahua. He is a plot exacted by Fidel Castro.

Jason: Definitely Yay. I just can't get enough of those little fuckers!! They're so much fun. If only there were a real market for them here in the U.S.- we'd have 'em runnin all over this place. You'd think i'd have a complex about them ever since "the incident," but i'm fine. In fact, i love them more than ever. Not even that could dissuade me. I mean, lookk at me, i'm fine with the whole weiner-dog thing too.

micHELLe: Please give me your interpretation of the opening sequence from the Richie Valens biographical movie "La Bamba" with the exploding plane and the falling burnt sneaker.

SAM: I interpret that as population control. The San Fernando Valley was getting quite crowded, and thats nature's way of creating vacancies.

Jason: Jose Chavez Y Chavez' ;he's a Mexican-Indian. How'd that be? Viva Gorditas!!

miCHELLe: Sam and Jason, I know you have dabbled in film recently, doing cameos in several films. Any truth to the rumor that Pulse Legion will be re-making the major motion picture "disorderlies" starring the Fat Boys; and covering the entire soundtrack?

Jason: Well, I guess the cat's out of the bag now, huh? Damn, so hard to keep anything under wraps these days. Yo Quero Taco Bell. We hit a snag on the soundtrack, unfortunately. We are unable to obtain permission to commercially release our version of "Wipeout." The concept was spurred by John and Sam's involvement in the medical field, and all of our deep affection for incredibly overweight African-American male nurses who, for some reason, always get these dope-ass bitches. I have also been cast in "Titty-Slickers 3, Return to the Bundah." I play an underpriveleged, out-of-work progeria victim with a nasty paint-sniffing habit and a severe nervous tick who makes his way out west by birthing a calf and making a movie with Andre the Giant. For some reason, i am a complete bush-magnet ( like those Pygmies with elephantitis of the nuts), and i have to beat all of the pussy off with a big-ass stick. And of course, I am never without my midget sidekick John Chisholm-of Young Guns 2 fame. If I'm lucky, they'll let me juggle the dwarfness.

Sam: We also have our hands in some other projects. We are planning on doing some appearances in the remake of Ski Patrol. We have also made a few appearances on "Gentle Ben '98: That Damned Disease Bear" and also on the almost hit TV series "The Original Lassie: Tale of the Convalesent Collie". Neither show made it out of the screen testing phase (basically a ViewMaster full of pics of dying animals he did in my back yard) but our hopes are high.

miCHELLe: And in conclusion-Any last words, etc.

Jason: Props and Shout-to all The Club and Radio DJ's-especially DJ Amanda Jones (Fang-Club, Stigmata, Helter-Skelter, Asylum, Perversion, Xanadu:::::Los Angeles, Hollywood, California) Most thanks to her for playing the music in the clubs, promoting us, marketing us, booking us, and just basically being the phattest hook-up and most awesome girl out here. Thank-you Amanda. Addtionally, our personal advice for any bands looking for exposure and rotation out here on the west coast club scene, she is without a doubt probably one of the absolute best contacts and friends to make out here. Bend Over. 138-my brothers. And Most of all, John and Sam.

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