BISEXUAL:

A person who is more or less attracted (emotionally, spiritually, and physically) to persons of either sex. Some believe that we are all bisexual to a certain degree.

Bisexuality refers to a state of being in which an individual is able to be attracted to members of either sex. It does not require equal attraction to both, gender-blindness, or nonmonogamy, though it can include all of these. An alternative expression that can be used as an identification is pansensuality, which does not require a partner, an 'other' to define itself upon, but rather defines by looking at the individual's sexuality.

What does that mean on our planet? Basically, bisexual people have the capacity for attraction of some degree to members of either sex. They may wish to express this by marrying 'heterosexually', or having a 'homosexual' partner; by being a member of a group marriage, or single; by marching in Pride demonstrations, or keeping their privacy (being 'closeted'); or in any other way that they can live. There are no strict rules.

Stage? Stable... or fluid?

One common conception about bisexuality is that it is a stage in the coming-out process, on the way to 'pure' homosexuality. Another is that it is an attempt by people who are uncomfortable with their gay or lesbian identity to hang onto heterosexual privilege. Perhaps for some few people, it is one of these, or similar things.

But for most people who identify or live as bisexuals, it is not a stage or a privilege; it is an important part of their (and my) identity. It isn't necessarily a carved-in-stone Kinsey or Klein rating, either. For many bisexuals, sexuality shifts over time. It is certainly not an 'easy way out'... bisexuals are not really welcomed by the 'straight' or gay and lesbian worlds. Both feel a threat to their underlying assumption.

Monosexuality

This is the underlying assumption of the 'straight' and gay/lesbian worlds: you can love members of only one sex. You must choose. That choice defines who and what you are.This attempt to mold human beings to a strict framework that does not fit them naturally is wrong. Love defines itself; it is not for society, law, or religion to decide how and with whom you may fall in love. But society, law, and religion have time and again decided that they know better. Every time this happens, oppression occurs.

Love in my experience occurs between two human beings. I do not claim gender-blindness; gender is a noticeable thing in our (USA) society, and the social cues are sufficient to make a huge difference where nature makes only a small one. Gender is a part of what I experience in those I love, but it is not the primary determinant of my choices. Other factors which I consider more important, intelligence, empathy, responsibility, and kindness, to name a few, determine the choices I make. Bisexuality allows me the freedom to note gender as a characteristic without depending on it to eliminate potential mates.

What about monogamy?

A common misconception about bisexuals is that they are incapable of being monogamous. This is not any more true than the same statement made about lesbians, gays, or 'straights'. Bisexuals may be monogamous if they feel that is the best framework for their expression of love.

Monogamy has the social advantage of being accepted almost worldwide as the desirable norm, and this fact may influence many people (of all orientations) to practice monogamy in spite of a personal preference for other arrangements. Polyamory (love for more than one other person) and polyfidelity (committment to more than one other person) are other options which some people choose, in spite of the social stigma attached to having multiple love partners. There are organizations, such as Live the Dream, and publications like Loving More, dedicated to such alternative lovestyles.