Secrecy
J/C fanfiction
by Lynn Janeway
Rated G
SD 99081.1
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Paris’s POV, he tells a rather disturbing story that he finds out about Kathryn, months later after all the damage is done. The first in this series.
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It’s been at least a month since we left the planet of Sacari 7. Our away mission was difficult and the Captain stayed on the planet for longer than anyone thought. She had a certain deal that she said she had to take care of. That’s when this whole thing started. The second she boarded back she’s been spending a lot of time in her Ready Room and in her quarters. She comes to the bridge every so often to make sure everything is fine and everyone is doing all right, but it doesn’t help we all can see through that captain’s mask of hers we all know there’s something deeper than that. No one dares to ask, or even comment, the Commander tried one morning first thing and she ran straight to her ready room. No one knows anything which means she hasn’t told or talked to anyone.
Everyone knows that the Captain and the Commander have a relationship outside of the bridge we’ve all seen him going to her quarters for dinner and them eating together in the Mess Hall. Some of the crew think that he’s mistreat her, others think it had something to do with the time she spent on the planet. As for right now you know as much as I do. Crew moral is still stable because, anyone but her close friend can’t see through that mask, five years working close with someone you learn a little about how the work.
Every time she enters the bridge its ‘crunch’ time, its just the feeling you get when she sits down. She says her normal ‘At Ease’ but no one really is. She only greets the Commander with a nod and never walks about the bridge talking with the crew. At times it would be in the middle of a conversation, or a meeting and she’d excuse herself and leave. Chakotay’s covered for her of course but he can’t hide the facts.
Space has been quiet and I’ve been keeping the same course on heading for weeks. I’ve talked with B’Elanna but she doesn’t notice, she tells me its only a phase like what happened in the void. I know better, you can’t underestimate Kathryn Janeway.
I’ve decided to postpone my practical jokes on them for Christmas until after, I get this feeling that this is going to be the longest Christmas we’ve ever spent together. However I’ve decided that despite what’s happening me and B’Elanna are going to have as nice time at least. I’ve created a holoprogram with a wooden cottage in the mountains of Aiur, beautiful white snow there. I’ve been there twice with friends for a skiing weekend, I know all the best places *grin*
I’ve been working on some idea’s for activities during my on-duty shifts, no one notices because after all I am the furthest away and not facing anyone. The Christmas get together for the senior staff is in three days, I just hope everything works- cut off but the captain’s presence as she enters the bridge.
“At Ease” she commands and we all turn back to our posts. Its like reality is not even reality we all work on a schedule doing the same, exact same things day in a day out. “Mr. Paris, what’s our heading” I pause ‘suprise you asked captain, its the same as it has been for weeks’
“Heading, home sweet home Captain, do you wish me to alter it?” I ask, throwing in some humor. With a shake of her head she turns to the middle console, I dare a glance. Chakotay is not looking well, neither of them seem to have slept in days. Actually yesterday I caught Chakotay dozing off onduty. I dared myself to wake him but then thought again about what he might be going through and left him.
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One day left till the party and there have been no changes in their emotions. I grow tired, no I grew tired of the same old routine and chose to come in late for my shift. To my suprise she said nothing not one word in fact neither the Commander nor the Captain noticed. I exchanged glances with Harry and Tuvok, they noticed and showed the same suprise as I did. Well of course not Tuvok.. I’m still routing for Neelix’s mission to get him to laugh although ‘I find it very unlikely’.
“Chakotay can I see you in my office” it was more of an order than a request which coldly broke the silence. Standing he followed her in.
They were in their for hours. An engineering ensign entered the bridge. I turned and looked, the young girl didn’t enter until she saw that both the Commander and Captain were gone. She quickly came over to me handed me a PADD and left as quick as she came,
“What is it Tom” Harry asked
“Hold on..” I paused reading over its contense. With wide eyes, I lowered my voice “B’Elanna knows what happening with those two.” I indicated with my hand the Ready Room. Tuvok said nothing, I suppose he wanted to know as much as we did. I looked down at it again, reading what I thought said ‘physical abuse’ and she didn’t tell anyone. “I can’t even say this Harry you have to read it, it can’t leave the bridge though.” he’s usually the one telling me that, this is not something to joke about. I’ve been told that I’ve been hard on those two and their personal relationship but when it comes to abuse, I know it well and its no laughing matter.
She was down on the planet, I had no idea, transporters weren’t working. She had been captured by their species and beaten for information about Voyager. She didn’t break and no information was spilled but by the time we got the transports working and back on-line she had already been badly hurt. We got her back in one piece, but that’s why she hasn’t been on her shift lately. It read that they couldn’t even recognize who she was. The Commander himself did the transport and she was secretly transported to Sickbay, the doctor treated her then was sworn to secrecy.. they only way B’Elanna found out was she walked in on the Doctor as he was making his personal and record logs. She apologized and left the doctor hasn’t talked to her since.
Both of us agreed that when the Captain, if the Captain wants to tell the crew what happened she will but again its highly unlikely. With these things I know even I would want to keep it to myself. I understand why she waited to tell Chakotay (I’m guessing that she’s telling him now, the clock just hit 5 hours) knowing how much he loves her and that he’d do anything for her, he’d probably go into a rage and go down to the planet himself. So she waited until they were way out of range. I think it was a bad choice, because the whole planet got away with the crime of beating our Captain, I was baffled myself to think that she let it go so easily. There has to be more to the plot than what we’ve heard, but I suppose unless Chakotay tell someone this is something that plans to be a secret for a long, long time.
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FIN
