DEATH OF AN INNOCENT

I went to a party, Mom, I remembered what you said.

You told me not to drink, Mom, so I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom, the way you said I would.

I didn't drink and drive, Mom, even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom, I know your always right.

Now the party is finally ending, Mom, as everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom, I Knew I'd get home in one piece.

Because the way you raised me, so responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom, but as I pulled out into the road,

the other car didn't see me, mom, and hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom, I hear the policeman say,

the other guy is drunk, Mom, and now I'm the one who will pay

I'm lying here dying, Mom. I wish you'd get here soon.

How could this happen to me, Mom? My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom, and most of it is mine.

I hear the medic say, Mom, I'll die in a short time.

Why do people drink, Mom? It can ruin your whole life.

I'm feeling sharp pains now. Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom, and I don't think it's fair.

I'm lying here dying and all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom. Tell Daddy to be brave.

And when I go to heaven, Mom, put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom, not to drink and drive.

If only they had told him, Mom, I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom. I'm becoming very scared.

Please don't cry for me, Mom. When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom, before I say good bye.

I didn't drink and drive, so why am I the one to die

GENEALOGY

The Family Tree

of

Jack Schitt

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt and Oh Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnet, married Oh Schitt, the owner of KneeDeep Inn. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced six children.

Holly Schitt, their firstborn, unfortunately passed on shortly after birth. Next came twin sons Deep and Dip; two daughters, Loada and Giva; then another son, Bull.

Against his parents' wishes, Deep Schitt married Dumb, a high school dropout. Dip Schitt married Lotta and they produced a son, Chicken. Loada and Giva were inseparable throughout their childhood and married the Happens brothers in a grand, joyous dual ceremony. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrdd, and Horse.

Bull, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He has recently returned to the family with his new bride, Pisa. The young couple is awaiting the imminent arrival of their new baby boy, Tuff.

So, now when someone tells you that you don't know Jack Schitt, you can say that you know the whole family.

MY UTOPIA OF THOUGHT

It's not a special room or a special place

Void of discrimination

of gender and race

My dreams are my sacred utopia of thought

Dreams are limitless

And can't be caught

Dreams are what make the world go 'round

With them secure

My peace is sound

My dreams mold and revitalize my soul

Without them I could not stay whole

I rely on dreams to keep me sane

Heavenly euphoria

Hard to explain

Beyond the words I speak.

Dreams create hope.

Hopes create chance.

My dreams are where life extends.

Dreams never end.

UNCERTAINTY. By Niki Sanders

She glares at me,

I see her distrust.

I have to make her trust me.

I must.

I smile politely.

Her attempt,

It's unsightly.

I reach out my hand.

She only glances at it.

She remains there,

remains where she sits.

I whisper a apology,

Whisper of my fears.

I look up to her face.

I can barely see through my tears.

She smiles so lightly.

She reaches out her hand.

I take her offering

Oh so politely.

AFTER A WHILE

After a while you learn the subtle difference between

holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and

company doesn't mean security,

And you learn that kisses aren't contracts

and presents aren't promises,

And you begin to accept your defeats with your head

up and your open, with the grace of an adult,

not the grief of a child,

And you learn to build all your roads on today

because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for

plans.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if

you get too much.

So plant your own and decorate your own

soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you

flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure...

That you really are strong,

And you really do have worth.

MY NEW BEST FRIEND

Today I met a great new friend

Who knew me right away

It was funny how she understood

All I had to say

She listened to my problems

She listened to my dreams

We talked about love and life

She'd been there too it seems

I never once felt judged by her

She knew just how I felt

She seemed to just accept me

And all the problems I'd been dealt

She didn't interrupt me

Or need to have her say

She just listened very patiently

And didn't go away

I wanted her to understand

How much this meant to me

But as I went to hug her

Something startled me

I put my arms in front of me

And went to pull her nearer

And realized my new best friend

Was nothing but a mirror.

PAINT BRUSH

I keep my paint brush with me

Wherever I may go,

In case I need to cover up

So the real me doesn't show.

I'm so afraid to show you me,

Afraid of what you'll do

That you might laugh or say mean things.

I'm afraid I might lose you.

I'd like to remove all my paint coats

To show you the real true me,

But I want you to try to understand,

I need you to accept what you see.

So if you'll be patient and close your eyes,

I'll strip off all my coats real slow.

Please understand how much it hurts,

To let the real me show.

Now my coats are all stripped off.

I feel naked, bare, and cold,

And if you still love me with all that you see,

You are my friend, pure as gold.

I need to save my paintbrush, though,

And hold it in my hand,

I want to keep it handy

In case someone doesn't understand.

So please protect me, my dear friend

And thanks for loving me true,

But please let me keep my paint brush with me

Until I love me, too.

MY REFLECTION By Niki Sanders

I looked in the mirror,

I didn't like the person I saw.

I realized, to my horror,

That wasn't me at all.

The person looking back at me was cold, raw and drained.

The expression on that person's face was really very pained.

She looked like she didn't enjoy being alive,

Would rather have been somewhere else.

So I made a choice and took a dive,

A dive into who was me and who was someone else.

Since that day sometime ago,

I've begun to resurrect the me that was great

The me that wasn't rude, and had no hate.

I like me now,

I'm genuine, loving and most importantly whole.

I look back and wonder just how,

How I let that awful person crawl into my soul.

I have more friends, who love me just for me.

True they're not super cool,

But with them I'm not a fool.

I don't do drugs,

I don't swim like a slug,

And I can smile widely and carefree.

I love my reflection.

Even though it's just me.

JUST WONDERING

As the lips

That told me they loved me

Claimed to love me no more,

I wondered how to stop the tears

That flowed so freely to the floor.

As the eyes

That once held a look so warm

Could no longer hold my stare,

I wondered if there was a time

When those eyes really did care.

As the arms

That once held and comforted me

Now just pushed me away,

I wondered why my time was through

And why I could not stay.

FATHER

To see you in so much pain

It brought tears me to tears

Me losing you

Is what I so much feared.

Not feeling the pain you felt

Not understanding why

If it wasn't for that wonderful woman

To think you could have died

If something would have happened

I don't know what I'd do

My heart just starts to crumble

At the thought of losing you

The pain I would feel,

Much greater than your own

I wouldn't have a father

I'd feel so all alone

I love you

More than words can say

It would break my heart

If you went away

I'm still so young

I need you here awhile

To help me raise my children,

To walk me down the aisle

To see you in that situation

Was the worst thing that's ever happened to me

not to be able to give you a hug

Really made me think

And I hope these past words

Have made you think too

Because I don't know what I'd do

If I were to lose you.

The more I think about it

The more I want to cry

Because without you in my life

The days would just drag by.

DON'T QUIT

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the roads your raveling seem all up hill,

When funds are low and debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest, if you must- but don't you quit.

Life is queer with it's twists and turns,

As every one of us learns,

And many a failure turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Don't give up though the pace seems slow-

You might succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man,

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victor's cup.

And he learned too late, when night slipped down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out-

The silver tint of clouds of doubt-

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-

It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

YESTERDAY

When boys meant "Yuck"

And friends were new,

Dreams were unshattered,

And worries few.

When recess was too short

And life was too long,

decisions came easy

Without the need to belong.

When storks delivered babies

And passions weren't so strong,

Friendships were unbroken,

Right was right,

Wrong was wrong.

When bad things didn't happen

When only skinned knees brought tears

And the nightlight in it's socket

Quieted all our fears.

When farewell meant just for summer

And real friends didn't part,

The fun went on forever,

And never a broken heart.

EXPECTATIONS

It's the light to the future

And the link to yesterday,

It's the understanding of our faith

And the knowledge of today.

It's the meaning of the little voice

Inside your head

It's to see existing life

When everything else appears dead.

It is to set the highest standards

Do your very best,

Think to your greatest ability

And rise above the rest.

It is to love yourself even though

You did not win,

To feel confident in yourself

To try again and again.

It is daring to be different

When everything's the same,

It is to sunlight Shine through

Despite the rain.

Consider yourself an individual

Not like any other,

Because we can make it

In this world

If we can just work together.

REALITY

A pile of letters

Never sent.

The thoughts of dreams

I have lent.

A bunch of unfinished stories.

A life untold and untouched glories.

The withering roses on the table

Evidence of a living fable

The fairy tale.

A life so unfrail.

Enchanted woods filled with laughter.

The prince and pauper

Living happily ever after

No one imagined

They were one in the same

Until the realization of life's reality came.

Though pieces of the puzzle

May not always fit

Change your outlook

And you just might make it.

Some are shocked

By the realities if the unreal

But the future is the result

Of how we feel

Or for those who believe

It matters anyway

So for reality's sake,

Hold on to someday.

Missing my Buddy by: Niki Sanders

Sitting across the room

I can feel his stare

But if I look he won't smile anymore

But shoot a steely glare.

I can sense his anger,

through his reassuring words

Even after my apology.

He's still mad at me.

I'm not sure what he's feeling.

Maybe it's hate.

But I guess it's a punishment.

A cruel unexpected fate.

When I call he's doesn't listen.

Or he does, but it's not the way it was,

When I ask why he's still mad,

He just says "because"

I hate the silence,

And the angry looks

It's not a friendship

It's being cordial by the book.

I miss my good buddy,

It's my fault, my crush.

I guess rebuilding a friendship,

isn't a thing to rush.

So I sit back, and watch him relax.

Because when I'm away

He's calm to the max.

To everyone else he's sweet,

and acts funny and light.

But then I smile or laugh at his joke

his good humor takes flight.

The water's gotten rough

And I miss him.

But he won't give up,

Or he's making the going tough.

HE ONLY TAKES THE BEST.

God saw she was getting tired

And a cure was not to be.

So he put his arms around her

And whispered, "Come with me."

With tear-filled eyes we watched her

Suffer and fade away.

Although we loved her deeply,

We could not make her stay.

A golden heart stopped it's beating,

Hard-Working hands put to rest.

God broke our hearts to prove to us,

He only takes the best.

Realizing Life By Niki Sanders

I'm looking out the window.

And the tears are falling down

And I'm looking through dead eyes,

My mouth curved into a frown.

And I'm thinking about my faults

And I'm thinking of my fears,

And I'm thinking of the build up

I've collected through the years.

And I remember all my lies

And I remember all my pain

And I feel my head throbbing,

Rhythmically driving me insane

And I feel my wounds open,

And I feel my heart break

And I think "make it stop,

Send it away for God's sake."

And I feel my eyes drying,

And I feel my heart healing,

And I realize, it's in the past.

And I feel the past sealing.

And I know of all my faults

And I know of all my fears,

And I know that nothing will change

What's been collected through the years.

And I smile and I know.

What's in my heart is better

Because of what I learned from myself,

And my heart's no longer bitter.

And my tears dry up,

And my eyes come alive,

And I smile and I realize,

The road of life leads forward,

And it's a long ride.

And I realize that each day,

We take our lumps in stride.

The Storm in My Heart By :Niki Sanders

The lightening strikes,

The thunder booms

Inside my heart,

Inside I fume.

I feel my anger

welling to the surface,

Suddenly I want to cry,

I feel like I serve no purpose.

I feel my friends

Have left me behind

I feel like I've lost my light,

That used to shine.

I try to smile,

As the tears run down,

I try to grin,

Over my frown.

I try to pretend it doesn't matter,

But in my heart I feel the pain,

A pain so intense, My heart is shattered.

I thought my friends were there forever.

But now I look at them

All ties to my friends I want to sever.

I sit back and I wonder,

How blind can one be?

How could I know them and never see?

I know now, that friends are not forever

And sometimes it's best

When ties are severed.

Perfection Won By: Niki Sanders

People run,

People hide,

From the awful reality

That has become their lives.

They can't escape

The imperfections,

Can't correct

All their misconceptions.

It's not so bad,

To want the best,

Put all they're dreams,

To the test.

The happiness for which they fought,

The perfection they realize cannot be bought.

Both these things must be earned.

Determination, how much do you yearn

Learning from Mistakes and Forgiving Yourself.

"Please forgive me,

Fore ignoring you so long.

Please forgive me,

For not taking you along.

Please forgive me,

For leaving you behind

Please forgive me,

For being so stupidly blind.

Forgive me,

For trying to change you,

When I was popular,

I didn't have a clue.

Please forgive me,

For putting on that mask,

I didn't know what I was doing

Whatever it was, it's in the past."

"Of course I forgive you,

It was such an ugly mask

Of course I forgive you,

That kind of ignorance is in the past.

I knew you'd let me shine through eventually.

A strong personality is meant to last."