Simpson's Testimonials Page, Part II
"HELLO EVERYBODY!" -hello Dr, Nick- Today I will tell you all how the F.C.H. is a proven remedy for cancer, ulcers, balding, flat feet, acne, drug and alchol addicition, excess fat, Magic players, and tendonitis and...."
"Just shut up and eat your sloppy joes."
"It helped me to be firm. I told mother that I am a man and I have feelings. I can't be ruled by her forever. It's just like back in NAM when they left me in that tiger cage for six months. But I escaped, oh yes, and now I'm back,...."
"All I have to say is that the Church of Homer has helped me realize that we all need to be loved. Some people Bbrrriinnnnggg Hold on, let me answer the phone here, Hello -Is a Amanda there, last name, Huggenkis- HEY I'M LOOKING FOR AMANDA HUGGENKIS, WHY CAN"T I FIND AMANDA HUGGENKIS , wait a minute , it's you isn't it you little, when I catch you your mother will cry when she see's what I've done to you, I'm gonna tear out your heart and feed it to rabid hedgehogs....."
"The Church of Homer and its deciples have helped me to improve my social life. I've got dates lined up for the next four months." 
"Well, back in my day, there wern't no such thing as the Church of Homer. We had to walk ten miles, uphill both ways, through thorns and desert to get to , what was I talking about now, back in 1908 I let a band of turkish rebels in the....."
"I don't like all that Be-Bop or blues in my orchestra, the homerites have given me the courage I need to be a cold-hearted-son-of-a-bitch and put the smack down on those fancy musicions."
"Aye, when I was a wee lad I was kicking arses all over Scotland. Now I just clean all of this crappy little school. What the HELL HAPPENED TO ME?"
"Arrgh, Tis true, when I met him, he wan't no man, but an eeting machine. In all my years out at see, nev'r have I seen such a greusom sight."
" Today kids we will learn about what a Jewish clown sees in an overweight, braindead, balding, yet wonderfully insightful man named Homer. But first I need to grab a smoke, excuse me.
"People on the internet, I am here to proclaim this day the first day of the Homer Season. This is now a federal holliday, so I'll see you when I get back from Florida."
"Dis Homer iz da man who saved my career. Vithout Him I would be waiting tables in Austria."
"I owe all my success to the teachings of HOMER. He showed me how to hit the power homerun."
"Good GOD! Are you people crazy! every last one of you are going to hell just reading this page. It's sacralige."
" BUT I don't want to talk in front all these people. I just want to be a kid"
" I love all of you." "follow me to see what happens to you when yuo don't follow the WORD OF HOMER."
Go Back to Patrick's Simpsons Site
Email: economos@hotmail.com
