PERSONAL
Age: 31
Birthplace: Cuckfield, West Sussex
FOOTBALL
Team Supported: West Ham United
Best and Worst memory of your team:
Best: Anytime I watched Trevor Brooking (God), especially the header that beat the Gooners in the 1980 FA Cup final. (Yes, I'm old enough to remember it!) and selling our 'player of the year', Paul Allen, to the Yids — I laughed for a week!
Worst: Too many to mention — anytime we lose to the Gooners (often); losing to Nottingham Forest in the Semi-Final of the FA Cup at Villa Park; anytime we play Northampton, Wrexham, Swansea... It's a labour of love!
Your team's best and worst player (current or non-current): Best — Trevor Brooking (oozed class) Worst — Geoff Pike (God, he was crap!).
Most memorable England match: Brooking's double v Hungary in Budapest (we won 3-1).
Best and worst England player seen: Jimmy Greaves and Gareth Southgate.
Position you play: left/central midfield.
Your best moment as a player: Winning the Alf Garner Under-16 Cup Final (Crawley Sunday League, beating the team who cheated us out of the League title 3-1).
DRINKING
Favourite pint: Champagne/lager
Number of pints before you fall over: Half. Must get those contact lenses sorted...
Favourite short when the going gets tough: Can't beat a good cognac or vodka.
Amount of alcohol (pints plus shorts) before you are seriously ill: Not sure. Depends if I'm watching West Ham v Gooners, or not. I usually get pretty sick by the end of those games!
Favourite venue after closing time: Any racecourse that's open. Failing that, I'll settle for either a Soho strip joint with Ladbrokes a very close second!
First thing you normally do on returning home from a heavy Drinking session: Tell the wife I love her... over and over again. Then throw up!
Favourite breakfast after aforementioned session: Champagne breakfast with Louise Lombard.
WOMEN
Woman you'd most like to be washed up on a desert island with: Louise Lombard or someone reasonably good looking who knows her racing (NOT Clare Balding!!!!)
FAVOURITE
Newspaper(s): Racing Post/Independent/Irish Post
Non-alcoholic drink: Are they mad? Okay, Cranberry and Blackcurrant.
Food: Lasagne
Holiday destination: Oahu (Hawaii)/Cancun (Mexico)
Film: JFK — Costner is God
Book: The Mick Channon Story — I'm writing it, I have just decided
TV: South Park
Music: Lloyd Cole/Elvis Presley
Band: Elastic
OTHERS
All-time sporting hero: Arkle.
Your ideal weekend: Friday — Early night with Louise Lombard. Saturday — waking up to read that a certain member of MGN has been sacked/castrated/killed (all three would be nice), champagne breakfast, Sandown/Epsom races and get a winning tip from Richard Dunwoody (that will be the day!), FA Cup Results: West Ham 6 Arsenal 0, Liverpool 0 Accrington Stanley 4; Evening flight to Miami to see... Sunday — The Dolphins crush Buffalo 68-0. And home to bed... "ah, Louise, I missed you!"
The one thing that really makes your blood boil: I'm above all that.
