This noble delicacy immortalized by the Klingon poets for centuries. Unlike most Klingon dishes, where you have to eat it before it eats you, pipius claw is actually tame. It's already dead. You can relax, take your time, and slowly scrape the meat off the claws with your left fang, homeworld style. Gowron affected a version of this mannerism to gnaw the off the bone, which was adopted by courtiers in the chamber of the High Council as a demonstration of loyalty during the civil wars. Will Riker quickly declared that this was his favorite dish in the officers' mess aboard the Pagh.
There are no pipius-pipia, actually-scuttling around in the swampy marshes of the wetlands of along the bottoms of the ocean floor on Earth, so substitute lobster instead for pipius and you'll be more than pleased with the result. You can prepare it en casserole, as it were, in the shells, just the way the inventor, the great field general Emperor Napoleon, who called it Lobster Thermadour liked it. Here's how:
First, kill all the lobsters. Do this by plunging their wriggling, squirming, snapping bodies deep into heavily salted boiling water in a stew pot, you should add two handfuls of salt to the water. Even better, if you live near an ocean, fill your pot with seawater and boil it straight-seaweed and all. Keep the lobsters on a high boil for at least 15 minutes. Now they're done. Remove them, uncurl them, snap off the claws, but leave the heads on and the eyes open.
While the lobsters are still hot, split them into halves, scoop out the soft white meat, and cut it into small bite-sized chunks. In a saucepan, mix ½ cup melted butter with flour until the two become soft and smooth and thoroughly blended, and then add the lobster meat. To the lobster meat, butter, and flour, add the cream and stock and blend. Heat this mixture over low heat for about 15 minutes of cooking time, add all of the spices, seasonings, and half of the cheese. Now preheat the broiler, and add to the lobster meat your wine, remaining ¼ cup melted butter, and stuffing or bread crumbs. Cook this mixture for another 5 minutes.
Because you will cook the lobster meat in the shells, rinse the shells until they are clean. Place them in a boiling pan and fill them with the lobster meat. Top with the remaining cheddar cheese. Broil 5 to 7 minutes until they are brown, and just before serving, arrange the lobster claws, upright and pried open, in the shells. You can sprinkle cayenne pepper or another dose of paprika over the finished dish, and garnish with arugula around the claws. If you have to, you can prop the claws up with bits of lobster shell, because pipius claw is all in the presentation. You can also add more bread crumbs or stuffing to the mixture to help support the claws upright. Serves four to six.
