**A while ago...
Celestia: Hey, Tugger, I've got a job for you...
Tugger: Sure. **grins** There's nothin' I can't handle.
Celestia: **sly smirk** I've scheduled you to interview Macavity in an hour.
Tugger: WHAT?!? You must be crazy!
Celestia: Come on, Tugger, you're not afraid of him, are you?
Tugger: Me? Afraid? Ha! I laugh at danger!
Celestia: Hmmm... I don't hear anything.
Tugger: But why M...Macavity? Why not Munkustrap, or Deuteronomy, or someone who's actually SANE?!?
Celestia: **evil grin** One word, Tugg. Revenge!
The present...
Tugger: So.. uh... hello fellow felines. Uh... today we have the famous Napolean of Crime here, and I'm sure he has some very interesting things to say. So... er... Mr. Macavity sir, what gave you the inclination to begin a life of crime?
Macavity: Actually, it's a sad story... my parents were never around when I was a kit. I became bored, and thought that stealing small items and catnapping a few tribe leaders would boost my self esteem.
Tugger: Did it work?
Macavity: No, it backfired. I only felt guilty and worthless. But I didn't know what to do!
Tugger: Uh...**turns away from camera and whispers** Celestia? Help!
Celestia: You're doing great, Tugger! **to herself** This'll teach you to mess with my love life...
Macavity: **Continues** It was horrible! Do you know how it feels to live in the gutters, and know that you can't go any lower! Oh, the shame! The horror! **reaches for Kleenex box** I don't know who I am anymore! Everyone always thinks of me as the bad guy. I admit it, I made some mistakes! But being ostracized doesn't help... If only you understood! **breaks down in tears. Tugger sends Celestia pleading looks. Celestia steps on stage.**
Celestia: We've called in psychiatric expert, Jennyanydots!
Tugger: But she's not a psychiatric expert!
Celestia: He doesn't have to know that!
Jennyanydots: **walks on stage, waves to audience.** Hello, dears! My, my, what's this?
Tugger: You're supposed to give us a bunch of psychiatric babble on what this dude needs to do to get his life back on track.
Jenny: Well, first of all, comb your fur! No one can feel good about themselves looking like that. That goes for you, too, Tugger...
Tugger: What?!? **Celestia stares him down**
Jenny: And maybe file down the claws a little... wouldn't that look better? Hmm... with a good shampoo and a few knitting lessons, he might not be such a bad kitty after all...
Macavity: What? Shampoo? See ya fellas, I'm getting out of here! **scrambles offstage**
Jenny: Wait! If you could learn to play the violin... **follows him. Tugger and Celestia stare at each other.**
Tugger: What just happened?
Celestia: I don't have a clue.
Tugger: Well, I guess that's it for today. See us next week!
Celestia: And now a word from our sponsors...**Pouncival and Alonzo scramble onstage lugging around a large object covered in a bright orange blanket.**
Pouncival: It's the new and improved Acme Litter Box! **whisks off blanket. A toaster is underneath.**
Alonzo: Hey, wait a minute! Where'd it go?
Pouncival: I just put the blanket over it a minute ago...**Mistoffelees comes running in.**
Misto: Anyone seen my blanket? Or Jellylorum's new toaster?
Alonzo: **Steps in front of toaster and throws blanket to Tugger, who misses it and sits on it to cover up the evidence.** Nope.
Tugger: Sorry. Haven't seen it. **Celestia suddenly begins to giggle and falls off the stage in laughing spasms.** What's your problem?
Celestia: Oh, dear Heaviside...hahaha... Tugger..hehe... your tail!
Tugger: **Jumps up.** What?! My tail! It's gone!
Misto: That's what happens when you mess with the orange blankie... anyone up for cappucino?
Celestia: Sure! **turns around and whispers to Tugger** Revenge!
