AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, here's another fic. It's part of the "steps" universe just after "One
Step Back, Two Steps Forward." I got bored at work today and it hit me. Always does when I'm away from my pc,
*****Breaking Free*******
Disclaimer: I don't ownseaQuest or any of it's characters. I'm just borrowing
them for a bit and I promise to put them back the way I found them....for the
most part.
THANKS: Thanks as always to Cara, my partner in crime, who not only preread this for
me, she saved me from a very, very sappy ending, which I was stuck on _forever_! It would not have gotten done without her, in fact, it would have found itself in my "garbage can" in another five minutes.
And of course, thanks to ELFy, who makes this possible....LOL
Rated: R for depictions of graphic violence and language
A small group sat gathered around a table in the mess hall, their loud, excited voices punctuating the air. "I'm telling you, Lucas and the captain are gonna love this!" Ben Krieg exclaimed, laughter lighting his eyes.
"You really think so?" Miguel Ortiz asked humorously.
The group laughed again, as they thought of the present they had arranged for the "new and improved" Bridger family. It had been two weeks since their captain, Nathan Bridger, had officially adopted the seaQuest's resident teenager, Lucas Wolenczak (rescuing him from his abusive parents), and they wanted to give the family something to commemorate the occasion.
They'd been pressed hard to come up with something "special" enough, until Ben had mentioned a friend of a friend....
"Ben, did you get it all set up?" Katie Hitchcock asked, before Ortiz had finished speaking. Ben looked from Ortiz to Katie quickly.
"Yes....to the both of you," he said smiling. This causes the over excited group to break into laughter again, drawing stares from several tables.,P> "We'll be docking in San Francisco tomorrow," Tim O'Neill said after they'd calmed down, "do you think we should tell them now, or just surprise them and take them straight there?"
"I don't know," Jonathan Ford answered, "what do you think Doctor?"
Kristin Westphalen shrugged noncommittally. "I'm not sure.....Chief, you've known Nathan the longest. What do _you_ think we should do?"
Manilow Crocker thought for a moment."I _think_ we should tell them now. I don't know about Lucas, but I know that the Cap would probably want to know. Besides," he said, a grin splitting his face, "I don't think I can take anymore suspense."
The group laughed loudly, picturing the looks on Nathan and Lucas' faces. "Well," Ben said, standing up. "What are we waiting for?" They headed for the Captain's quarters, hoping to find father and son there.
"Come in," Nathan called at the knock on the door. Ben walked in followed closely by the others. Nathan looked up at them from his place at his desk, growing suspicious from the wide grins on their faces.
He cleared his throat, grabbing Lucas' attention from where the boy had been poking into the hologram's wiring. An eyebrow arched slowly as he took in the group. He looked slowly over at Nathan, clearly wondering what was up.
Nathan shrugged his shoulders at Lucas, just as confused as he was. "Can I help you?" He asked cautiously, not sure he _wanted_ to know what was going on.
Ben stepped forward, grinning even wider, his excitement sending crackles of energy into the room. "Well, sir, Lucas. We have a little ... surprise for you." The others stepped forwards beside Ben, barely able to contain their excitement. Lucas and Nathan looked at each other, a little concerned that this "surprise" involved Ben, and that the crew was obviously very excited about it. Ben went on.
"We wanted to give you something to.....," he paused, a look of confusion crossing his face, until Katie leaned over and whispered in his ear. "Commemorate!...the adoption."
Nathan felt himself relax slightly, hoping it couldn't be _too_ bad, especially since the others were involved. They wouldn't let Ben get too out of hand...hopefully."So we came up with this idea." Lucas looked at him closely, wondering what they were being dragged into. "A friend of mine knows this guy, and-"
"Ben, just get on with it." Ortiz interrupted, about to explode from the suspense.
Ben gave him a look, but went on. "Anyway, we arranged it for you two to go get your picture then tomorrow."
They looked at them, waiting eagerly for the reaction. Nathan started to smile slowly, realization dawning on him at what Ben meant. Lucas looked around confused.
"You _family_ portrait." Kristin clarified.
Lucas nodded his head slowly, then smiled weakly. He looked over at Nathan and his smile grew, seeing his new dad's reaction.
Nathan was looking at the group, smiling happily. He stepped forward and quickly shook everyone's hand, hugging Kristin and then Katie, much to her shock. "This is....great." he said happily, going back to stand by Lucas. He placed his arm around the boy and squeezed slightly. Lucas looked at the group and smiled his thanks, knowing they would understand. Emotions were still something Lucas was learning to express, and it was hard at times to clearly show people how he was truly feeling. Luckily, these people knew him well enough to understand.
Later that night, Lucas lay in bed, tossing and turning, the sheets twisting around his sweat soaked body. A low moan escaped him as he was gripped in another nightmare....
Eight year old Lucas Wolenczak closed the door behind him quietly, hoping not to attract his parent's attention. He'd fallen down an embankment by their home, and his clothes were dirty and ripped in places. He clearly remember his mother telling him not to "dare mess up these clothes!". She'd sent him outside to sit quietly on the porch so he would be out of the way of the photographers.
The Wolenczaks were getting their family photo taken, by one of the most prominent photographers in their area. A friend of his father's, actually his boss, had arranged the appointment for them, and he was expecting to get one of the first photos. His father had been very irritable lately, even more so than he usually was, and Lucas had been careful to tread very lightly around him.
Lawrence was worried that if they didn't impress the photographer, that he would report back to his boss. The two were very good friends, Lawrence knew, and he wanted to impress this man badly.
Lucas had gone out and sat on the porch like his mother had said too. He knew better than to argue with her when she was in a mood like this. His parents had been fighting a lot ever since the appointment had been made, and she was being even more unreasonable than normal.
He'd caught sight of something shiny in the underbrush across the street and his natural, childlike curiosity had been raised. He'd tried to cross a ditch to get to the object and had succeeded only in falling down it and discovering that the "shiny object" was nothing but a candy wrapper. He'd walked back to the house, praying that his dad hadn't gotten home yet, and that his mom wouldn't catch him.
He opened the front door quietly and stepped into the house, closing it quietly. He looked over and saw his father's briefcase sitting by the front door. His heart sank into his stomach, and his palms started to sweat. 'Oh God,' he thought desperately, 'please let me make it to my room. Maybe I can change before they see me.' He tiptoed into the hall and started up the stairs.
"And where do you think you're going?" a voice came from behind him.
He hunched his shoulders and turned around slowly. His mother was standing at the bottom of the stairs, arms crossed over her rigidly held body. She gasped and narrowed her eyes when she took in his disheveled appearance. "Wha-" She was cut off as Lawrence walked into the hall, playing the part of the "family man."
"Come on, they ne-" he broke off when he saw Lucas, and he started to breath in strained gasps. His eyes narrowed and a vein started to throb in his forehead. He took a menacing step forward, his hands balling into fists.
Lucas shrank against the railing, knowing what was coming.
Suddenly, Lawrence glanced behind him and forcibly unclenched his fists. His breathing returned to normal, and the vein went back down. He morphed back from the monster into the "jovial family man" in less then a minute, his features returning to normal. He stepped forward and grabbed Lucas by his arm painfully, forcing him to stand straight. He leaned down until he was hissing into Lucas' ear."We will talk about this tonight. Go get cleaned up, now!"
Lucas ran up the stairs, dreading what he knew would happen once the photographers were gone.....
Lucas' small body slammed into the wall, the breath knocked from his lungs. He screamed when he felt something give in his arm. Lawrence reached down and grabbed him again, pummeling into his small body, seemingly without end, until Lucas was barely conscious. His arm hung at a strange angle and he was bleeding from a gash in his forehead. Bruises were already starting to form where his father's fists had made contact with his body.
"You are worthless, you good for nothing little shit!" Lawrence yelled into his face. He backhanded his face, causing the boy's face to loll back drunkenly. "You can't even stay clean for five minutes! What good are you anyway?!?" He dropped Lucas onto the floor, and walked away, muttering under his breath about "insolent children."
Lucas lay on his back, his arm aching harshly and his mind wondering in and out of consciousness. The last thing he saw was his mother, staring at him pityingly from the doorway, before she too walked away.
Lucas awoke with a gasp, shaking from the sobs raking through his body. Tears coursed down his face and his breath came in heaving gasps. He sat up slowly, feeling his left arm, where the remembered pain from his nightmare was causing it to ache fiercely.
Lawrence had managed to break it that time. He wasn't sure how long he'd laid there, all he remembered was waking up in the hospital, a doctor looking at him sadly. They'd told the hospital that he'd fallen out of a tree. A very weak story, but the hospital had lapped it up, not wanting to confront the "famous" Dr. Wolenczak. His head had ached constantly for a week afterwards and he'd barely been able to get out of bed.
He stood up now, needing to prove to himself that it really had been a dream, that he wasn't laying on the cold floor of his parent's "family" room. He glanced around him, still half asleep, expecting to see Lawrence or his mother climb out of the shadows, laughing at him.
Another wave of fear sent him running for his door, and down the corridor, heading towards one of the few people who truly made him feel safe. He pounded on Nathan's door, still trembling from his nightmare, his heart racing. He thought he'd scream, waiting for the door to open.
Finally, after many lifetime, it eased open and Nathan peered out at him. The question died on his lips as he took in Lucas' disheveled appearance. Without a word he let Lucas into the room, and gathered him in a tight hug.
Lucas grabbed onto him, and laid his head on his shoulder, to wrung out to even cry anymore. Nathan just held him gently, rocking him slightly and rubbing his back. He whispered nonsense words, trying to calm him down, and get him to open up. The aftermath of the nightmares were always bad, and this one looked to have been a doozy.
Finally, Lucas' body stopped trembling and his breathing returned to a reasonable speed. Nathan held him away from him and looked him in the eyes. It broke his heart to see the fear still lurking in there and he cursed the Wolenczaks again, for what seemed like the millionth time. Why no one had tried to stop the abuse before was completely beyond him.
"Are you okay?" he asked gently. Lucas nodded his head slowly, still trying to catch his breath. "Do you want to talk about it?" Lucas shook his head violently, starting to shake again. Nathan tightened his grip reassuringly. "That's okay. You know you don't have to if you don't want to. I won't force you." Lucas sighed gratefully and sank onto a chair, his head in his hands.
Nathan tried to think of a way to ease his mind away from the nightmare, and he came up with the appointment tomorrow. "Are you excited about tomorrow?" he asked, doing his best to drag the boy's mind away from his fear. Lucas looked up at him confused. "The picture?" He stepped back in shock as Lucas jumped up from the chair, practically knocking it over.
"No!" he shouted, backing up for the door. Nathan looked at him in shock. "I don't want to have my picture taken! Never....." he broke off and ran down the corridor.
Nathan stared at the empty doorway in shock. He couldn't help but feel a little hurt by Lucas' reaction to the picture, but he forced it down, knowing that there was more going on here than a simple family portrait. He contemplated letting it rest, but decided to chase after Lucas, knowing that the boy needed to get it out, whatever it was. He'd been burying his emotions for far to long, and if he didn't stop soon, he was likely to explode.
Nathan found him by the moonpool, resting against it's side, his head down gazing absently into the water. He approached the boy slowly, making sure Lucas knew he was there so he didn't frighten him more than he already was. He leaned on the moonpool beside Lucas, simply waiting for the boy to start talking, crying.....something.
Lucas sighed and turned to face him, tears still drying against his cheeks. Nathan smiled encouragingly at him and Lucas leaned against him, laying his head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
Nathan squeezed his shoulder's lightly. "It's okay," he answered quietly. "Do you want to talk about it now?"
Lucas sighed and started in on the nightmare slowly, knowing there was no way Nathan was going to drop this. By the time he was finished, his cheeks were wet with tears and his shaking had returned.
Nathan held him, shock creasing his face. Every time he heard of some new cruelty, some new way that Lucas' parents had treated him, he thought that that was it, he wouldn't be shocked anymore. But here he found himself again, standing rigid, cursing the names of the Wolenczaks and wishing he could turn the seaQuest's full nuclear capabilities on them.
"Dad?" Lucas ventured.
Nathan tightened his grip, before letting go, giving Lucas the space he knew he needed. "Yeah?"
Lucas looked up at him fearfully. "Is it always going to be like this? Am I always going to be afraid?"
Nathan opened his mouth to respond, but Lucas pushed forward, stopping the words before he could get them out. "I mean, look at today. I freaked out over getting a _picture_ taken for heaven's sake! It just never ends. I thought that when I finally got away from them, that it would stop. I could stop looking over my shoulder, or....or expecting someone to hit me all...all the time, but," he broke off for a moment, his emotions finally starting to break through. "How...how am I going to even have a life if...if I-I can't even function normally?" He looked up at Nathan with tears in his eyes. "Am I ever going to be free?"
Nathan opened his mouth to speak, but the words got stuck in his throat. All he could do was gather Lucas into his arms and hold him, trying to reassure him in the only way he was able to. "I don't know Lucas," he said quietly into the boy's hair. "I don't have all of the answers, but I promise, we'll find a way to get free of it."
He sighed and laid his head against Nathan's shoulder, a wave of tiredness crashing over him. "What time is the picture tomorrow?" Lucas asked tiredly.
"Are you sure?" Bridger questioned gently.
"Yeah."
Nathan lead him back to his quarters and tucked him into bed. He sat in Lucas' desk chair until the boy fell asleep.