Heaven
Find a Dream
Choose a wish, find a dream
Pick a wishing star
Let your hopes and spirits soar
High and free and far.
Reach for the unreachable
Stretch to touch the sky
Know no dream you treasure
Is too far away or high.
Believe in the impossible
Then work and try and do
For only those who dare to dream
Can make a dream come true!
~*~
Author: Unknown
Job Posting
MOM
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term team players needed for
challenging
permanent work
in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess
excellent communication
and
organizational skills
and
be willing to work variable hours,
which
will include evenings and weekends
and
frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
~*~
RESPONSIBILITIES:
Must provide
on-the-site training in basic life skills,
such as nose blowing.
***
Must have strong skills in negotiating,
conflict resolution
and crisis management.
Ability to suture flesh wounds a plus.
***
Must be able to think
out of the box
but
not lose track of the box,
because
you most likely will need it
for a school project.
***
Must reconcile petty cash disbursements
and
be proficient in managing budgets
and resources fairly,
unless you want to hear,
"He got more than me!"
for the rest of your life.
***
Also,
must be able to drive motor vehicles
safely under loud and adverse conditions
while simultaneously practicing
above mentioned skills in conflict resolution.
***
Must be able to choose your battles
and stick to your guns.
***
Must be able to withstand criticism,
such as
"You don't know anything."
***
Must be willing to be hated
at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5 to go skating.
***
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
***
Also,
must possess the physical stamina
of a pack mule
and
be able to go from zero to 60 mph
in three seconds flat
in case, this time,
the screams from the backyard
are not someone just crying wolf.
***
Must be willing
to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as a small gadget repair,
mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
***
Must screen phone calls,
maintain calendars
and
coordinate production
of multiple homework projects.
***
Must have ability
to plan
and
organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages
and mental outlooks.
***
Must be willing
to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
***
Must handle
assembly and product safety testing
half million cheap, plastic toys
and battery operated devices.
***
Also,
must have
a highly
energetic entrepreneurial spirit,
because fund-raiser
will be your middle name.
***
Must have a diverse knowledge base,
so as to answer questions such as
"What makes the wind move?"
or
"Why can't they
just go in and shoot Salaam Hussein?"
on the fly.
***
Must always hope for the best
but be prepared for the worst.
***
Must assume final,
complete accountability
for the quality of the end product.
***
Responsibilities also include
floor maintenance
and janitorial work
throughout the facility.
***
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT
and
PROMOTION:
Virtually none.
Your job
is
to remain
in the same position for years,
without complaining,
constantly retraining
and updating your skills,
so that
those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
***
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training
offered
on a continually exhausting basis.
***
WAGES & COMPENSATION:
You pay them,
offering frequent raises
and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due
when they turn 18
because of the assumption
that college
will help them
become financially independent.
When you die,
you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing
about this reverse-salary scheme
is
that you actually enjoy it
and wish you could only do more.
***
BENEFITS PACKAGE:
While no health or dental insurance,
no pension,
no tuition reimbursement,
no paid holidays
and
no stock options are offered,
job supplies
limitless opportunities
for personal growth
and
free hugs
for life
if
you play your cards right.
Author: Unknown
***
"What Is A Mother"
It takes a Mother's Love
to make a house a home,
A place to be remembered,
no matter where we roam.
***
It takes a Mother's Patience,
to bring a child up right,
And her Courage and her Cheerfulness
to make a dark day bright.
***
It takes a Mother's Thoughtfulness
to mend the heart's deep "hurts,"
And her Skill and her Endurance
to mend little socks and shirts.
***
It takes a Mother's Kindness
to forgive us when we err,
To sympathize in trouble
and bow her head in prayer.
***
It takes a Mother's Wisdom
to recognize our needs
And to give us reassurance
by her loving words and deeds.
***
It takes a Mother's Endless Faith,
her Confidence and Trust
To guide us through the pitfalls
of selfishness and lust.
***
And that is why in all this world
there could not be another
Who could fulfill God's purpose
as completely as a MOTHER!
***
~ Helen Steiner Rice ~
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