Meanest Mother In The World
I had the meanest mother
in the world.
While the other kids
had candy for breakfast, I had to eat cereal, eggs and toast.
While the other kids
had cakes and candy for lunch, I had a sandwich.
As you can guess, my
dinner was different from other kids' dinners, too.
My mother insisted on
knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were on a chain
gang or something. She had to know who our friends were and what
we were doing.
I am ashamed to admit
it, but she actually had the nerve to break the child labor law.
She made us work. We had to wash dishes, make the beds and learn
to cook.
That woman must have
stayed awake nights thinking up things for us kids to do.
And she insisted that
we tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
By the time we were teenagers,
she was much wiser and our life became more unbearable. None of this
tooting the car horn for us to come running; she embarrassed us to no end
by insisting that friends come to the door to get us.
I forgot to mention that
most of our friends were allowed to date at the mature age of 12 or 13,
but our old fashioned mother refused to let us date until we were 16.
She really raised
a couple of squares.
We were never arrested
for shoplifting or busted for dope.
And who do we have
to thank for this?
You're right -
our mean mother.
I have tried to raise
my children to stand a little straighter and taller and I was secretly
tickled to pieces when my children called me mean. I thank God for
giving me the meanest mother in the world. Our country needs more
mean mothers like mine!
God bless all the mean
mothers still out there!
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