It is sad not to be loved, but it is much sadder not to be able to love.
What could be more crushing than to be in love with someone who is either not in love with you, or who simply does not have the skills necessary for a healthy relationship? Either case is a self-esteem killer. No matter how you try to take care of yourself, one-way love is a misery as long as it lasts.
It hurts to reach out to someone who won't or can't reach back. Even if we know the loved one's unattended emotional impairment is the real reason behind the rejection--it's still rejection and it still hurts. Even if we rightfully say, "It's his problem," it's still our pain that we have to deal with.
Depending on the situation, what can and must be done varies greatly. What doesn't vary is the sad fact that we can't make somebody else love us, no matter how hard we try. No matter how many extra miles we're willing to go, if the other won't move an inch the relationship won't move an inch either. Until we can accept that and achieve some detachment, we'll be stuck right where we are. -------Earnie Larson & Carol Hegarty
Others have survived doomed love relationships, and so can I.
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