/not a cloud in the sky/ He thought to himself, raising a single hand to swat a vanilla bang from his eyes. /and no one here to share this night with.../ A heavy sigh escaped Gackt's full lips. He knew full well why no one stuck around very long...

He got up slowly; reluctantly, and moved to his piano, taking a seat on bench and draping one long, leather clad leg over the other as he placed his hands on the keys with a feather light touch. A small amount pressure sent a C chord ringing through the dead air of his apartment. His eyelids draped down slowly over his baby blues as he proceeded to play 'regret'. The notes of the sonnet mingled to his ears and sent a calming wave of sadness through him. Gackt opened his eyes, his playing ceased, and let out another sigh, looking off into the blackness of his living room. And much to his chagrin, but not surprisingly, nothing stirred.He stood slowly, moving around and away from his piano and back to his cushioned window seat. Sitting once more, he faced the inside of his empty room. Moonlight flickered sparingly over the elaborate furniture it contained, and over a small endtable topped with a simple black frame. The face contained within the frame was vaguely visible to Gackt in the night but he knew who it was.

/Kami/...Gackt stood and moved to grasp the frame and bring it into the moonlight. Pressing his fingers to the glass lightly, he traced the outline of his late friend's image. Kami's beautifully feminine face stared back at him with a muted greeting on his smiling lips. The essence of Kami's eyes in the photo did nothing to betray the wonderful person he was in life.

Gackt's memory took him back to Kami's funeral, a small affair only for his closest company. He remembered how death had seemingly spared Kami's beautiful face. Upon stirring these thoughts, Gackt's eyes closed tightly, tears threatening to break free. He reopened them not a moment later and returned his gaze to the picture he held in his lap.

"I miss you so much...mon cher." Gackt whispered more to the air than anything. One determined tear made its way down his cheek, landing with a silent splash on the photo of Kami. Ironically, right below his eye. Gackt stared down at the photo almost blankly, stunned by the tear.

He grasped the end of his black shirt and wiped the tear away gently, taking care not to leave a smudge on the flawless glass.

The open window sent a short burst of air through the room that seemed to whisper Gackt's name. Gackt lifted his head and looked into nothingness, his ears perking slightly. With a shake of his head he dismissed this as a hallucination. Unable to bear to gaze upon Kami's visage for any longer, Gackt set the picture face-down on the other side of his pillowy seat, opposite him. Returning his gaze to the nightview outside, he reached for his wine glass, easily finishing the contents before returning the glass to the table. Deciding against any further conscious loneliness, Gackt stood slowly. He extended his arms upward for a moment in a stretch before making his way down a dark hall and into his bedroom.

He paused to shut the door tightly and made his way to the edge of his bed, once again taking a seat. He grasped the sides of his black velour shirt and pulled it over his head, tossing it carelessly onto the floor. Wrapping his taut arms around his own waist, he stopped for a moment, closing his eyes and reveling in the feeling of being held; memories again whisking him to thoughts of one of the many embraces that he and Kami once shared.

* * * * * *

"I'm so glad you still want to speak to me..." Kami commented quietly, his fingertips playing lightly along Gackt's cheekbone.

"Just because I left Malice Mizer...doesn't mean I left you. I could never do that Kami..." was Gackt's reply as he leaned into Kami's touch just slightly. Kami smiled softly, moving to brush his lips across Gackt's cheek, his arms tightening around Gackt's thin body in a gentle embrace. Gackt clung to Kami lightly and laid his head on Kami's shoulder gently.....

* * * * * *

A shake of the head sent Gackt back into reality. The moonlight was again working its magic on Gackt's thin body; light dancing over every muscle that adorned his toned frame. He hunched over, unfastening the buttons on his pants before sliding them off to be discarded along with his shirt. A second breeze fluttered through the house, sending a chill through the air and over Gackt's body. He shivered as he tugged the bedspread down and pulled his legs up off of the floor. Gackt snuggled himself beneath the covers, curling onto his side. His blue-eyed gaze sought the emptiness of the room before heavy eyelids stifled them slowly. The wind seemed to be picking up, sending light fragrant breezes into the room periodically. Shivering again, Gackt sat up in bed to glance at the patio doors, which he found to be closed. A look of slight confusion crossed his face before he resumed his sleeping posture. The hair on Gackt's neck stood up as he could swear he felt something tousle his hair. A few hot tears slid down the soft flesh of Gackt's cheeks and onto his pillow as thoughts of Kami flooded his mind.

"Kami...I..." He whispered almost inaudibly as he stirred a bit, managing to feign off sleep for only a moment. His phrase didn't need to be complete...A whispered reply came across the air...

I love you too.

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