Joy
--July 27, 1957 to May 12, 2001--
Written by Andrew of Joy
Dear Joy, mother of 10, plus 3 adopted, beloved wife and faithful missionary to India, died on the 12th of May 2001. She had been in hospital due to cancer. Her mother, myself (Andrew), Rosa (our oldest daughter) and Thomas (one of our adopted sons) spent the night with her and in the morning we were joined by Joy's Father and our two older children, Valiant and Marianne.
I would like to thank Dad and Mama for leading us to Jesus. Our lives would be so different if it hadn't been for the Family and our place of service. So if there's any glory to be had, it's all the Lord's. You put us in the right place at the right time and all the glory is yours Jesus.
I wanted to write in some remembrances of Joy. Many of you knew her and were so kind as to respond to Tabitha's request for people to write up their thoughts and impressions of Joy. These were greatly appreciated by both of us. They really touched our hearts. Thank you so much!
The Lord showed me to go ahead and do this because she is a special lady. I got, "I want the whole world to know just what a woman I can make and what it's possible to become with my Spirit"
Joy was a Leo, a very outgoing personality. I think I learned a long while back that I wasn't supposed to try and control her, but let her burn free, that she was the Lord's creation. If she was tuning into someone and the kids were running around, I just knew that what the Lord was doing through her was important and then I'd watch the kids. We had a lot of respect for each other, she is very special.
I'd like to tell you a little more about what Joy is like. When I met Joy it was in 1976 in Delhi. She helped look after me while I was recovering from hepatitis. I looked at her and thought, "She looks like an angel." As time passed, I knew she was one.
The happiest experience in my life - along with finding the Lord - was when she answered, "Yes." after my stuttering proposal at that little tea shop next to the market. We were walking on air. Little did I know how much was inside this girl, how deep and caring she was. She was not only beautiful outside, but also inside. We talked about how wonderful our children would be.
One of the first things she told me about was her family. She was so proud of her dad who didn't want TV to spoil their family life. She told me how her parents had such good ideals: the importance of the family caring for one another. They proved this when Joy came home from India to get hospital treatment for the cancer. She brought Christia (our youngest who has Downs Syndrome) then 1 year old. They took her and looked after her for 3 months. Letting her fall asleep in their own bed and then placing her in her cot next to them.
Joy often referred to her good upbringing as the eldest of six. No wonder she had a good up-bringing with such caring parents. Her mum and Dad were there for us when we really needed them, constantly by her side in the hospital and at home.
A year later, just before our wedding (on October 3rd, 1977) we were helping to look after a small mission station in Madras. We had a strong conviction that if God was bringing us together we would bear fruit and our lives would touch others. We had a youth club going there, meetings almost every day, and on Saturdays we had a dance at the YMCA. Joy would dance with 3-4 boys at the same time. As there were so few girls. On the way home from one of these evenings we were hitch-hiking and got dropped off at a cross-road, we could go either way. Being "whiteys", we could usually get a lift within minutes by putting our best foot forward. Not this night! We couldn't seem to get out of this spot. So we switched to the other road. After awhile, Xavier, a Malaysian student, walked over and we started talking. He had been active in communist student groups. After quite some time listening to him, we told him about the Lord and he was willing to try Jesus. After this, his life took a radical turn and he soon went into full time missionary work. He and his wife and children are now working with slum children in Bangalore. It seemed like everything we touched turned to gold.
During that time in Madras, Joy was in charge of the kitchen operation. First thing in the morning you'd hear the stove clanking away as she pumped up the pressure on that smoky kerosene apparatus. She could improvise cakes and turn out all kinds of goodies for birthdays, which she did regularly for anyone we lived with: friends, the orphan kids, etc. She would take whatever things we had available and make something out of them.
She loved to read. One day she was sitting there reading the yellow pages. A phone directory! I couldn't believe it. She was thoroughly engrossed in it as if she were reading a novel! After some time I asked her if she was enjoying it. She said "You never know what you can learn from these things". A few days later, when we had to find a certain shop in that populated city, she piped up, "That's on such and such a road, near so and so." We said, "How did you know that?!" You guessed it.
Joy has been like the Lord to me. Whenever I've gotten riled up about what somebody had done, she was quick to point out their good points and steer me towards the path of love. I remember driving along on the motorbike in Bhopal, India, with her on the back. A fellow gave us a mean stare. I reacted "Wow! That guy's evil! So full of hate.", I said, giving him a mean stare back. She answered, "He doesn't mean to. He doesn't know Jesus." She pulled me through some real trials of faith by pointing me to the word.
Joy showed me that love was a greater force than hate. A lesson that could quite possibly be a lifesaver in India in crowded trains, etc. when your life can depend on how you react to antagonism. She applied this in her life with children, constantly reminding me of their good points. She had a remarkable link with the Lord. If someone was saying something negative about someone you can be sure Joy would put forth the positive.
She also really had faith in me and backed me up, not belittling me, which helped me so much.
She had problems sleeping at night, her mind was so active and she'd wake me up at 2 or 3 a.m. sometimes saying, "We've got to talk." It was invariably about the children. She'd say "This is the only time we've got and it's very important, don't you realise how important this is?" I can't say my flesh always relished these times, but it showed me how the kids were on the top of her list. During her last time in the hospital she'd constantly ask, "Where's the baby? Is she ok? Who's with the little kids?" A real mum. "Go home. Look after the little ones. I'm OK here."
Her love and generosity were remarkable. In Amritsar, we were witnessing to a young English couple who were hooked on opium. They had two small children, Ruth (9) and Jacob (5). She invited them to stay in our little hotel by the train station in spite of my misgivings. "They could run up a big bill and then we'd be stuck with it! I don't know." Well, they ended up kicking the drugs and becoming full time missionaries themselves and are still going strong for the Lord out there going on 23 years. Ruth and Jacob have followed in their parents' footsteps and between the two of them they now have 6 children.
She was never too tired to get involved in other people's lives. Their problems were hers. She made herself open to listening to others and poured out her life to them. Joy was responsible for hundreds of shows which she did with equal enthusiasm whether for the children in tin-roofed orphanages or the President of India at that time as well as at residential homes all over South Wales and England. She made the costumes, organised the dancing and whole program, did the MCing and just put heart and soul into it.
She always insisted we give well beyond our tithe. Giving was what her life was about. Our doors were always open.
A very noteworthy habit she had was to hear from the Lord daily and write it down. She never missed a day and if she did, she would feel very bad about it. She was constantly writing portions of the Word out and songs about the Lord. We have quite a few tapes she made for the children: Christian stories, Bible verses for memorisation, etc.
Her passion was teaching and she taught most of our children to read by the time they were four. Flash cards, her main tools, were on hand at all times. While sitting in a restaurant or on a bus she would pull them out. She would use her time wisely, always pouring into the children.
In the midst of an all out war I could imagine her in the basement doing her flash cards coupled with her praying. Her last project was to complete 99 flash cards with 5 questions each, geography, history, science, German and general knowledge. Along with this, she did a school curriculum for our young boys whom we home school. The children were always on her mind. She loved to talk about teaching and would share her secrets and tips with everyone.
I would like to finish by saying, treat others well. We never know how long we have. Sweet Joy has left a heritage of love and memories, a very lot to live up to.
Love Andrew.
