"For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain." - Philippians 1:21

I can not even begin to describe the seemingly overwhelming sorrow that floods a person's life at the loss of a loved one. And it makes little difference whether I am speaking of the loss of my brother, my friend, and my hero -- Byron -- at age 20, or the loss of my grandmother who was very sick and fought her illness to the end. The loss of each brought sorrow. At times, unspeakable sorrow.

I know, as all Christians know, that they have gone to a far better place. I do find comfort in this fact. I find comfort in knowing that one day I will see them again in glory. I find comfort in knowing that because of their relationship with Christ, through their death, they have gained! But I have lost and sorrow remains.

During my grandmother's funeral, I had a family member say, "I would do anything to avoid going through this part." At first, I agreed. However, on second thought, I strongly disagree! There is a joy in sorrow.

Paul, talking about his coming death, said, "Nevertheless to remain in the flesh is more needful for you." (Philippians 1:24) Paul understood that while it may be gain for him to die, it would be a loss to others. He understood that his life was a blessing to others.

Why do we experience sorrow? We have little sorrow for those we do not know, or our enemies. Sorrow comes at the loss of those we love. And the more we loved them the greater the sorrow.

Could we avoid sorrow? We could, but it would mean a life lived without loving or being loved. A life lived without caring or being cared for, touching or being touched, changing or being changed. I am not willing to pay that price to avoid sorrow.

There is a joy in sorrow. While I still cry and weep for the loss of my brother nine years ago and for my grandmother one week past, I will not dismiss or ignore that sorrow. It speaks to numerous years I had with each of these special people. Years of loving and being loved, caring and being cared for, touching and being touched, changing and being changed. And I will not dismiss or ignore these wonderful years to ease this moment of sorrow.

There is a joy in sorrow - to live without sorrow is to live without joy. Given the choice to live without sorrow, I choose sorrow. I choose to love, care, touch, change, and share in others lives. And I choose to allow others to share in my life. This will bring sorrow, but it will never compare to the joy received from sharing in others lives.

Job 17:7 says, "My eye has grown dim because of sorrow, and all my members are like shadows."

It is so easy to lose perspective in moments of sorrow. Our eyes grow dim and we lose sight of life. All we see is death and our life becomes little more than a moving shadow. If we dwell on our sorrow, it will bring destruction into our lives.

We will all experience sorrow. The question is: what will we choose? Will we choose to focus on our sorrow, allow our eyes to become dim, and our lives to become moving shadows. Or will we choose to focus on Christ and the joy that has been brought into our lives through those whom we have lost.