A Eulogy for Vanessa Rose

We want to say something in memory of our daughter. Vanessa Rose was only with us for nine months, but she went through more than many people will go through in their lifetime. In many ways time stood still for us during those nine months and we were able to look at the world with a new perspective. She taught us so many things. She taught us the real meaning of love, of patience, of long-suffering, of endurance. She helped us to rethink our priorities and realize that our success in life is judged not by how much we accomplish, but how much we love. Our lives have changed for the better through having her here with us. One of our relatives said she couldn't make sense of Vanessa's death and wondered why such a terrible thing could happen to us. When Vanessa was first born, and in the first few months of her life when she was so, so sick, we wondered if we had done something wrong and if Vanessa's sickness and disabilities were perhaps a punishment.

However, with time we have come to see very clearly that Vanessa was not a punishment. She was a blessing; a very, very special blessing, sent straight from Heaven to us. She was an angel in our midst who deepened our lives in a thousand ways. We thank God for her and for all that she taught us and did for us during her time with us. She gave us more than we ever gave her.

We don't see all the reasons for why this happened now, but we know that God knows and that she is now safe in the arms of Jesus. Someday we will see and understand clearly.

In the meantime, although we miss her terribly, she would not want us to be sad. She was such a brave little girl. She never let things get her down. She fought for every breath she took and yet she did not complain. She was such a happy baby. One thing we loved about Vanessa was that she never cried unless she really had to. She only cried to let us know that something hurt or that she needed something and then she would immediately cheer up. She found such joy out of the simplest things of life. Clapping her hands and being kissed and cuddled brought her such pleasure. She couldn't enjoy much of life, but whatever she could enjoy, she enjoyed to the full and we know she would want us to do the same.

She is enjoying life now to the full! We know that! As our daughter, Tory, said, "Mommy, isn't it funny! Before Vanessa couldn't see or hear us, but we could see and hear her. Now she can see and hear us even though we can't see or hear her." We know she is laughing and playing, healthy and whole, no longer imprisoned by her earthly body that brought her so much pain.

We hope that we can remember what Vanessa was sent here to teach us, that the knowledge of how much we are loved and how much we need to love, to see the wonder and beauty in the world and in the people around us; to think a little less about the petty problems that surround us from day to day and instead to think a little more about Heaven and God's love, to give that love to others and not keep it inside. If we can do this, then Vanessa did not live or die in vain.