I practically floated out to Ivy’s car. She was waiting inside of the jeep. I jumped in, grabbed her copy of Dizzy Up The Girl, popped it into the CD player and turned it up a couple of notches.
“Whoa, killer. What’s the excitement about?”
“You are not going to believe what happened last hour.” The Goo Goo Dolls were not Ivy’s favourite band but she did listen to them. She also understood my obsession with the sexy guitarist. Ivy just smiled and listened to my rambling as she drove west, towards Boulder.
I continued to babble about John all the way through my chocolate cake and a pot of ginger peach tea. Ivy sat cross-legged on the cushion catty-corner from me sipping an iced chai and listening. I can’t believe she actually sat through me not usually the type of girl who goes all ditzy and giddy over a boy, but this wasn’t just any boy. This was John Rzeznik.
Ivy dropped me off at home and I went in, to find my mom drunk on the couch. The drinking was a remnant of my father’s death, eighteen years later and she still wasn’t over it. She blamed herself. She blamed me.
She was in labor and my father was at a coffee shop just down the street that his friend owned. My grandma called the coffee shop looking for him. He was two blocks from the hospital, so he told grandma that he would walk. Halfway between the coffee shop and the hospital he was pulled into an alley. He was beaten severely, robbed, and left for dead. Jack Harmony was found in that alley the next day. The obituary said that he was survived by Ruby Harmony, his wife, and Wynter, their newborn child.
Ever since that April 13th my mother has been depressed. My birthday was never a day of celebration for her. I got used to finning for myself on my birthday. My mother always made up for it, a week later she would give me presents and a cake. I walked past the couch towards my bedroom, I knew better than to confront her in this state. When I was younger I didn’t know better. I told her she shouldn’t drink so much and she grounded me for a month. I tried to avoid a fight that night, but even I can only be pushed so far.
“Where have you been all night?”
“Mom, it’s only 6:30 and I was at the tea house with Ivy.”
“Don’t lie to me. You were out with boys, probably having sex.”
“No, I was...”
“Or maybe smoking.”
“Mom list...”
“Or doing drugs.”
“I was onl...”
“Or drinking.”
“Oh yeah, Mom. You’re one to critcize about drinking. It’s been eighteen years mom, eighteen years. You’ve neglected everything, including your own flesh and blood, because of his death. Do you really believe the only person you’re drinking has hurt is you? Do you mother?” She did something I didn’t expect then, she slapped me.
“You ungrateful, little bitch. You are grounded until I say otherwise. Don’t you ever speak to me like that again. Go to your room, now.”
I turned on my heel and went upstairs to my room. I pulled off my boots and sat cross-legged in the middle of my double bed. My cheek was still stinging but I couldn’t cry. I was just thinking.
That outburst had been a long time coming. I held back all those things from her for so many years. I just couldn’t believe she hit me, she had never done that before. She hadn’t even spanked me when I was little. This was more shocking than upsetting.
I layed back and fell asleep without realizing it. The argument with my mom had left me completely drained. I slept until 6:30 the next morning when my alarm went off.
Mom was still asleep when I tiptoed into the shower. I got dressed quickly and ran out of the house early. I didn’t have to be to school until 9:00 a.m., but I didn’t feel like being home when mom woke up. I drove to Village Inn to get some breakfast. As I began to take a bite of my strawberries and pancakes, I remembered the day before. In two weeks I was going to see John again.
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