Clothes are my passion. I sleep, eat, and breathe clothes. I work for Rolling Stone as a costume mistress, but not just a costume mistress, head costume mistress. Everyone in my magazine is well dressed, I make sure of that. This is not one of those shitty teen magazines that can’t even dress a doll. I’m at every photo shoot and if I can’t be there only my most trusted assistant will be allowed to head it up.
It was Christmas Eve, so everyone was out of town but me. I was the only one working the last photo shoot of the year, I didn’t even have an assistant only my head make up artist. I was rushing around to dress the three members of a band that weren’t even there yet.
“Where the fuck are they?”
“I don’t know, Mir.”
“Don’t they understand that we only has so much time in this studio and I’m the one who loses time. Not the precious photographer, me.”
“I know, I know, but we can’t find them.”
“Fucking hell, just because they have a hit they think they’re fucking god.”
“Mira, calm down. You already have their outfits set up. Everything will be fine.”
“I know the costumes will be fine, but what about hair and make up. There’s only the two of us today, Sarah, two of us. It’s going to take us twice as long.”
“We’re the best, we can do it. I’m going to get you a cup of coffee and you’re going to calm down.”
“Okay.” I sat down in a make up chair and hung my head back. I love my job, but fucking arrogant as hell rock stars piss me off. They think that they’re the only ones that matter. People get paid to put this magazine out and it’s the stars that don’t care that fuck us over. Sarah walked back in with two cups of coffee.
“Here.” She handed me a cup and sat down next to me.
“So, how angry is the photographer?”
“He left about an hour ago, his assistant is supposed to call him when they get here.”
“What band are we doing today, anyway?”
“The Goo Goo Dolls.”
“The Goo Goo Dolls? You have got to be fucking kidding me. I can’t stand that asshole. He never does anything that I ask and he gives me shit the entire time, but he won’t let anyone else do his make up and hair. Fuck. This is exactly what I did not need right before Christmas. I was going to have a nice calm Christmas this year. All by myself, a bottle or two of wine, and open all the gifts I bought for myself. No annoying bastard ex-boyfriends. No pain in the ass family. Just time for me. This is just my luck.”
“Guys they’re here,” the photographer’s assistant shouted. In walk only two of the members of the band, and we stand up.
“I’m Mira the costume mistress and this is Sarah my make up artist. We’re the only ones here today because it’s so close to Christmas, so this may take longer than usual. Now come with me.” I turned towards the dressing rooms and they followed. I walked to the second dressing room along the hall and stopped. “You, um the tall one in here.”
“Mike,” the tall one said.
“Mike in here. All your clothes are laid out, just put them on and go back into the make up room.” I walked to the next dressing room and stopped again. “You...”
“Robby.”
“Robby, you go in here. Same deal, all your clothes are laid out and go back into the make up room when you’re dressed.” Robby walked into the dressing room and was about to close the door. I put my hand on the door to stop it. “Do you happen to when what’s his name, uh John, will be here?”
“I’m not sure. He was supposed to be here with us but we were late, so I assumed that he was already here.”
“Okay, thanks,” I sighed heavily and walked back to the make up room. “Fuck me.” I said as I fell into a chair.
“What’s up, doc?” Sarah spun around and around in her chair.
“Johnny, I’m a fucking god, Rzeznik isn’t here yet.” Sarah stopped her chair and turned to me.
“You like him,” she teased.
“I’d like him to not show up, so I can go home and have a nice Christmas.”
“Don’t you start your vacation soon anyway?”
“Yeah, this is my last shoot for a month. I’ll probably go crazy without work.”
“Who are you getting to take over while you’re gone?”
“I wanted to talk to you about that. You are the only person I can trust to do this and I already approved it with the guys upstairs. So, I want to promote you to my right hand man, woman, whatever.”
“Do I get to keep doing make up?”
“Of course, you’ll do everything you do now, but you’ll get paid more and you get to boss around the costume people.”
“You got yourself a deal.”
“Great, finally someone I can rely on.”
“Maybe you’ll have a relaxing vacation for once.”
“Wouldn’t that be something new and different?” I laughed and spun my chair around. It stopped facing the door and there he was.
“A relaxing vacation, I could go for one of those too,” he said.
“I’m glad you decided to show up.”
“Better late than never, right?”
“No,” I said, standing up.
“Oh no, is someone in a bitchy mood today?” I gave him a look that had death written all over it.
“Follow me.” I turned to the hall and walked to the first dressing room. I pushed the door open and waited for him. Robby walked up behind me and I turned to him. “Go ahead, Sarah will do your hair and make up.”
“Sorry about being late.”
“No problem, now go on.” I couldn’t be angry at him, he was too sweet especially compared to Johnny. Johnny walked up to me and leaned against the door frame in front of me. “Well, what are you waiting for, an engraved invitation?”
“What do you want me to do?” he asked getting very close to me, close enough to kiss.
“Put on the clothes that I laid out for you. I think you can handle that.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“Just get dressed.” I walked away from him and back into the make up room. Sarah was leaning over Robby applying liner to his eyes. Mike walked out right behind me.
“Where do you want me?”
“In that chair is just fine.” He sat down in my chair and I gathered up my make up. I was finished with Mike’s make up and Sarah had finished Robby’s hair, when John called for me.
“Mira. Could you come here please?”
“Sarah, will you do his hair?”
“Sure thing boss.”
“Thanks, I owe you big time.” I walked back to his dressing room and knocked on the door. “What is it, Johnny?”
“Who is it?”
“You know who the fuck it is. Now what do you want?” He pulled the door open and let me in. He pushed the door closed behind me, pinning me between him and the door. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and his pants weren’t buttoned or zipped. “What do you want?”
“You,” he whispered in my ear and then backed away, “to fix my pants. They won’t zip.”
“Do you always need someone else to dress you?” I walked to him, stood pressed up against him, looked him in the eyes, and fastened his pants. He looked like he was going to kiss me, you know that look, we’ve all seen it before. They look from your lips to your eyes and back again.
“Thank you,” he breathed.
I moved up closer my lips almost touching his, “Get dressed.” I pushed him away from me and walked out of the room. Sarah had finished Mike’s hair and was waiting for me.
“Well, what do you think?” She raised her eyebrows at me and smiled.
“They look great. Stand up boys, let me see the clothes.” They stood up next to each other and smoothed out their clothes. Robby was wearing black pants, a red silk shirt untucked and a black jacket. Mike was wearing black pants, a lime green silk shirt untucked, and a black jacket. They wanted Johnny to stand out, I couldn’t do anything about it. So I had to dress him a little differently from them. “Perfect. They are going to take some solo shots of you two, so go out to the photographer.” Johnny walked out from the dressing room and sat down in my chair.
“Mira, I’m ready for you.”
“Let me guess, you won’t let Sarah do it.”
“No, I want you.” I grabbed my make up bag and walked to the chair. I started applying his make up and I could tell that he was staring straight down my shirt.
“Do you mind?”
“Not in the least.”
“I’m sure it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.” He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me onto his lap.
“That doesn’t mean I don’t want to see it again.”
“Stop talking so I can put on your lip gloss.”
“If you put that on me, it’s just going to end up on you.”
“You are an arrogant asshole, did you know that?”
“You’re the one sitting on my lap.”
“You put me here, but if you want me to get up,” I started to stand.
“No, don’t do that.” He pulled me back down again. I put his lip gloss on and stood up.
“Stand up, let me see.” He stood up in front of the mirror and looked himself over. He was wearing leather pants, a black tank top, and a purple silk shirt unbuttoned. He looked good, but I wasn’t about to tell him that.
“Damn, I look good.”
“The clothes make the man.”
“No, that’s all me.”
“Oh please. They’re waiting for you. Go get your picture taken.” Johnny went out into the studio and I started cleaning up the make up room. “Sarah. Sarah, where are you?”
“I’m here,” she came skipping in from the shoot. “Mike’s cute, isn’t he?” Sarah still got star struck on occasion, I was way beyond that. The problem with my job is that the only people you remember are the ones that are a pain in the ass. The bitch that thinks the outfit makes her look fat. The asshole who says he’s too much of a male for make up.
“Why don’t you gather up your stuff and head home, I don’t need you any more.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I just need to put up the clothes.”
“All right. Have a good vacation and don’t you dare come back to work at anytime or I will kick your ass.”
“Bye Sarah.”
“Bye Mira.” Sarah picked up her jacket and left. I sat down in my chair and spun around. It was actually a lot of fun to spin like that, it took you back to your childhood.
“Did Sarah leave already?” I put my feet down and stopped facing the door. It was Mike, maybe Sarah wasn’t just being star struck after all.
“Yeah, it’s Christmas so I let her go home early. She deserves it, she works harder than everyone but me.”
“It’s too bad I missed her. She’s sweet.”
“Yes, she is.” I knew what Mike was after, but I was going to make him work for it a little.
“Do you know how I could get a hold of her?” I didn’t think he’d go straight for it like that, I was impressed.
“I’ll give you her phone number.” I jumped up and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. I wrote down her phone number and handed it to Mike.
“Thank you. So what do I do with these?” he asked, pulling out his shirt.
“Just leave them in your dressing room, I’ll take care of the rest.” Mike left the room and Robby entered right behind him.
“Leave these in the dressing room?”
“Yep, are they still taking pictures of John?”
“Yes.” Robby went down to his dressing room. I could hear the photographer telling Johnny what to do, it was strangely methodical. Most of the photographers I work with have a rhythm they get into, but they aren’t that methodical. Mike and Robby finished changing much quicker this time and then left. I went back and picked up their clothes, I had to send them down to be cleaned like always. Johnny walked into the make up room and smiled at me.
“What do I do with the clothes?”
“Just leave them in the dressing room.” The photographer walked in behind Johnny.
“I’m leaving, will you lock up?”
“Yeah, sure.” Johnny and the photographer both left the room and I sat down again. I spun around to the mirror and looked at myself.
“Mira, Mira on the wall. Why did mom have to name you something that sounds so much like mirror?” I sighed and leaned back in the chair.
“Mira,” Johnny called from the dressing room. Jesus Christ, can that boy just not dress himself? I got up and went back to his room, but the door was already open this time.
“What is it Johnny?” He was standing in the room with no shirt on, but this time his pants were zipped up.
“The zipper is stuck again.”
“Jesus Christ, man, can’t you dress yourself?”
“Apparently not.” I sighed, walked over, and unzipped his pants.
“Now see, that wasn’t hard, was it?”
“No but something else is.” He leaned forward and kissed me, forcing his tongue into my mouth. I kissed him back and he took it as a sign to proceed. He picked me up and backed me into a wall. I suddenly became very aware of what I was about to do, and I put my hands on Johnny’s chest.
“Wait, wait,” he kept kissing me. I pushed harder on his chest. “Stop, John.” He stopped and backed up.
“What is it? You never call me that, is something wrong?”
“Yes, something’s wrong.” I pulled my shirt back into place and walked out into the make up room. I sat down in my chair and looked in the mirror. God, what was I thinking, I can’t let this start.
“Well, what’s wrong?” I looked up at Johnny in the mirror. He had the eyes of an angel. How could someone with those eyes act the way that he does?
“There are two things I’ve learned doing this job. And one of them is don’t fuck the rock stars.”
“What was the other?”
“Don’t argue with the photographers.”
“What’s so wrong with fucking the rock stars?”
“Look Johnny, I just want to go home and have a nice Christmas and a nice vacation. The last thing I need fucking with my head is a one night stand with you.”
“It doesn’t have to be a one night stand.”
“How could it not be, Johnny? How could it not be?”
“How many of these photo shoots have we done together?”
“I don’t know. Two, maybe three.”
“It’s been three, Mira, and I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you again.”
“Oh please, Johnny, that’s such bull shit.”
“See that there. You call me on everything. You don’t let me get away with whatever I want. You’re not some stupid ditzy groupie.”
“You don’t even know me.”
“Oh I don’t, I seem to remember some girl from a past that she has long since forgotten that would argue with that.”
“I’m not that girl any more.”
“Yes, you are, Mira.”
“Johnny, when I ran away from Buffalo it was to get away from everything and everything included you.”
“Why me? I understand why you left everything else but not me.”
“I had to go cold turkey. You were everything that was important to me in Buffalo. Without you I had no reason to ever go back to Buffalo.”
“You didn’t even tell me you were leaving.”
“I tried. I tried to tell you so many times, but how do you do that? How do you tell your best friend that you’re leaving, you never want to see them again, and it’s nothing personal?”
“I don’t know, but why can’t we do this now?”
“Johnny, you had ten years to make a move on me and you never did. I wanted you to, but you never did. Don’t you think it’s a little late for us now?”
“No.” I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I didn’t want this. I escaped Buffalo and he was about to drag me back there.
“What do you want from me?” He just looked at my reflection. “What do you fucking want from me?” I screamed, my voice cracking with emotion. He spun my chair around and kneeled in front of me.
“I just want to be part of your life again.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking,” I whispered, the tears streaming down my face now.
“Shh, don’t cry.” He wiped my cheek with his hand. I got out of the chair and onto the floor with him. He put his arms around me and began rocking me. “Shh, it’s going to be okay.”
“I want you back in my life too, but I’m scared of all those things I left behind.”
“I’ll protect you from them.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
“Well,” I sniffed and sat up. “It’s Christmas Eve, do you have any plans?”
“No.”
“You want to come back to my place, maybe have some wine, watch The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.”
“That sounds nice.”
“Go put your own clothes on.” He got up and helped me up. Johnny left and I looked in the mirror. My eyes were all red and puffy, and my skin was blotchy from crying. I went to the sink and splashed some cold water on my face. Nobody wants to be alone for Christmas and nobody wants to be without their best friend. I had been without mine for the past sixteen years and that was just too long. You know what they say about getting married and becoming best friends, I wonder if it works in reverse.