Whenever foreign customs are brought to the American public it tends to ignore them. As is evidenced throughout the books we have read, foreigners are nearly always eschewed in one way or another. The concept of arranged marriage is near blasphemous in a nation where free will is its heart and soul. Americans look on it with somewhat of an open mind, but they still consider it strange. As an immigrant, the author of Arranged Marriage, Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni, can relate to both sides of the coin. She understands our views on freedom and also knows and respects Indian customs. In every story in Arranged Marriage something bad comes of arranged marriages. Affairs, unhappiness, dismissal, violence, submission and frustration are all side effects of the arranged marriages in “Affair”, “Meeting Mrinal”, “Doors”, “Clothes”, and “Silver Pavements, Golden Roofs”. Through portraying these consistently negative situations, the author appears to have become Americanized with regards to marriage.
In “Affair” the dark side of the two couples’ marriages is obvious. On one side Abha and Ashok have a quiet, bitter rivalry, while on the other side Meena and Srikant have a big deal affair that’s out in the open. Everyone knows the split is coming between Meena and Srikant, but the true conflict of the story is with Abha and her husband. Their marriage has deteriorated greatly because of Abha’s reluctance to show affection. She has performed the normal, mundane duties of a housewife well, such as her cooking - which is considered good enough for her to write a food column. It’s her lack of passion and her failure to see what she’s doing wrong that makes the marriage crumble. She does have one strength, though, as a confidante of Meena, whom she has a mutual respect with. “[Meena] needed me more than anyone in my life ever had – the way I’d hoped, when I’d got married, my husband and babies might.” (240) While her married life isn’t working out as she’d hoped, she can at least take solace in her role as a friend. But, when the mistrust from her marriage interferes with her friendship with Meena, Abha realizes that she befouled the only bright spot in her life, and needs to leave the marriage. She then sets off on her own to make a new life for herself. In this story, Divakaruni shows how the too-traditional wife can cause the problems in a marriage.
“Meeting Mrinal” takes place after a divorce has already occurred. Mrinal is the envy of Asha’s entire life, and she embodies everything she wishes she could have been - successful, pretty, admired, and powerful. What she doesn’t know is that Mrinal is in the same position – she wants to be like Asha, with a loving husband and a son. It’s ironic that the woman who wants independence gets it, but then doesn’t like it, while the woman who wants a family has independence, but doesn’t enjoy it. Both women want to have a nice family, but neither has one. When Ahsa sees this predicament she almost commits suicide, but at the last second decides that’s not the answer. She sees that see has to make the most of what see has, even if it isn’t perfect. She also finds that no one can have perfection, and overcoming obstacles is what pulls people together. “The glasses glitter with hope. We raise them to each other solemnly, my son and I, and drink to our precious, imperfect lives.” (300) While Divakaruni shows in this story that women who are unhappy with their marriage should try to appreciate what they do have, it is, nevertheless, a marriage that ends in divorce.
“Doors” begins with an immediate sense of foreboding. The marriage between Preeti and Deepak looked to be a quality marriage, but the fact that it’s not arranged has Preeti’s family worried. She feels that her chosen spouse, who she’s known for a relatively short time, will give her a stronger marriage than one arranged by her relatives. Preeti sees it as two like minds coming together, while her parents see an Indian man marrying an American woman. “Here you are, living in the U.S. since you were twelve. And Deepak – he’s straight out of India. Just because you took a few classes together at the university, and you liked how he talks, doesn’t mean that you can live with him.” (183) Preeti thinks even without training to be obedient, adjusting, and forgiving, that she will be able to overcome their differences with her love. Eventually she is proved wrong, as Deepak invites his customs (embodied by Raj) into their house, without asking her permission first. She finds that she can’t live with the old customs of male-dominance and communal living. In response to this, she shuts herself off from Deepak’s customs by closing doors to her rooms and also in her mind, until nothing is left of her free-thinking, carefree, unmarried life. Divakaruni uses this story to show what happens when cultures mix. In this case, the old takes over the new, and it ends in a negative way.
The marriage in “Clothes” is in most ways perfect. The husband, Somesh, cares about Sumita’s feelings and she feels gratified by his attention. The only problem is with their duties. Somesh has duties to his store and his parents, which leaves him less time for his wife. Sumita has duties to support Somesh’s decisions even though he doesn’t give her a house away from his parents, or do anything loud after the lights are out for the night. He says, “I’m their life.”…“They’ve always been there when I needed them, I could never abandon them at some old people’s home.” (26) So she serves them like a good Indian wife would, with the hopes of leaving with her husband soon. When he is killed - ironically while fulfilling his duty to the store and, sadly, just before they move out - Sumita is devastated. She ponders suicides, but comes to her senses, and gets ready to fight her parents-in-law. She knows she doesn’t want to be a sad servant widow till they die, and so she prepares to live her American life without her husband. This story shows how an open-minded husband can break a wife out of her traditional role and give her the confidence to live on her own terms, even without him there.
These images and stories conjure up opposing images of India. Some are positive and happy, like Somesh and Sumita’s marriage, but some are negative, like the rest of the stories. The last story we read, “Silver Pavements, Golden Roofs”, wasn’t mentioned above because the main character doesn’t have much to do with marriage, but it does give some images of Indian life. Aunt and Uncle are poor blue-collar people in America and will probably remain that way. They’re both unhappy with their current position, which implies that they were quite well off in India. The unhappiness goes so deep that Uncle actually hits his wife. His frustration shows that, in India, there is no social mobility. If you’re born rich you die rich and if you’re poor, you stay poor. Aunt knows Uncle is frustrated with his life, not with her, so she immediately makes-up with him after he hits her. What they don’t realize is that, in America, you can improve your standing, though it would be hard for Uncle since he’s Indian-American and lives in a rundown part of town. Some positive aspects of India life include the closeness of family, when arranged marriages do work out, and the sense of belonging people feel in their communities. America is too huge to comprehend for people that rarely leave their home villages, and it seems cold towards them. They know in India they’ll always be cared for, not treated like less than human because they’re immigrants. I like the fact that Indian families and towns are close, yet too much closeness for too long can be a bad thing. The need for someone to do something different may be suppressed more in India and I don’t like the lack of freedom of choice.
A couple of major themes in these stories are independence vs. marriage and happiness vs. duty. In each story, marriage entails great duties for the wife to fulfill for her husband. They have to weigh their duties against their own need for independence, and if they can find a happy medium the marriage will be mutually beneficial. In India, the women are more accustomed to their duties than American-Indian women, which explains why the women in these stories often experience heartbreak. It seems that when they find a balance between marital duty and independence they are finally happy. This was true in Ahsa’s life before the divorce and in Preeti’s early marriage.
All the stories are from a woman’s point of view, which lends to the belief that these are Divakaruni’s personal views on arranged marriage. She offers many different circumstances and outcomes, but all the stories have a negative aspect in them, meaning she doesn’t look kindly on arranged marriages.
