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Gazmission
Welcome to the 2nd edition of
Gazmission written for Wrestling Envy by Gary
Griffiths.
Fake Wrestling Fans:
Phoney Jabronies
We’ve all heard the critics:
Wrestling is fake. Wrestling is for idiots.
As the anger builds up inside you,
you come back with some excuse like ‘You
just don’t get it’.
This response is of course
correct, after all the amusing thing about the
whole situation is that the critics don’t
get it, they wouldn’t know the difference
between Viscera and Max Mini, and probably think
that a foreign object is something from China.
But because the anti wrestling fan
believes that they have the higher IQ, they think
they do get it. Even though we would all like to
plant some ‘Sweet Chin Music’ on their
ignorant jaws, were better of hitting them where
it hurts there egos.
Insult the things they like, see
how they respond. After all it’s there
insults which have led us to this, if they
respond with something like ‘You’ve
never seen or heard it’, then they have
proved your point, the fact of the matter is they
have never seen wrestling long enough to like it.
When they say wrestling is fake, show them clips
of Mick Foley flying of the top of Hell in a
Cell, or Jeff Hardy Senton Bomb of a 20ft ladder.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t
have anything against non-wrestling fans that
admit they don’t like it, but don’t
insult it either. I’m sure everyone who has
experienced this knows how annoying it is when
some little ass, is behind you complaining about
how only gay’s watch wrestling. You could
turn around flash them your middle fingers,
proceed with a boot to the b*llocks and them hit
them with a devastating Stunner, or you could
tell them that they are gay for imagining those
homosexual things whilst watching a far from gay
rendition of Raw. I know it is hard to ignore an
idiot trying to be funny by shouting wrestling
terms from past conversations they had overheard.
So the next time someone insults
wrestling tell them the truth and let’s see
who the real idiot is.
From talking about the wrestling
haters, to talking about the fake wrestling fan.
The kind of fan that walks around saying’Do
you smell what The Rock is cooking’ and
saying they know everything about wrestling. You
know who you are. For all you true wrestling fans
out there I have some advice, ask them how long
they’ve watched wrestling. If their response
is 4 months then smile say ‘that’s a
long time’. Then once there back is turned
pick up a chair smash it across there back and
then as they fall to the ground, cross there legs
turn them over in to a Sharpshooter, and force
them to say, that they know nothing about
wrestling and are just big, fat headed b*stards.
Once you have let them go spit on them and walk
off with pride, you have succeeded in freeing the
world of another fake fan.
Another approach is to humiliate
them with a string of impossible questions, which
only a long time fan would know.
There are other cases of the fake
fan, the conversations about wrestling that you
overhear, even though you don’t know the
people who are talking, you then hear a
completely obscene comment which obviously isn’t
true, and anger starts to build up inside you as
you notice there amazed friend being told a pack
of lies. Usually you choose to be polite and let
their comment go unpunished, but why ?
They have no right of going around
telling lies about wrestling after all were the
ones who make it popular by following it for all
our lives. You could tap them on the shoulder
politely and say to them that you are sorry for
the interruption but the comment they just made
was slightly incorrect, but as a fellow WWF fan
you were going to ignore there error of judgement
and correct them. Or you could correct them by
telling them the truth. Which is that they, and
every other fake wrestling fan should go lick a
Lamas ass!
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