The girls who were sexually abused will have to learn
how to trust again.
And they need to understand what is proper behaviour
between adults and children, said seven counsellors
and social workers interviewed.
They will also need to build up their self-esteem and
sense of identity.
A psychologist with Touch Community Services, Dr Eliza
Lian, said the girls need to be taught how to differentiate
between appropriate and inappropriate forms of affection.
For example, she said, a handshake is all right, and a pat
on the back is also acceptable to some people.
But touching of the genitals by a care-giver who is not
cleaning the child has to be prohibited.
She said that some sexual abuse victims may also grow up
thinking that the only way to get attention is through their
bodies.
So it is important for them to know that it is possible for
people to love them in non-sexual way.
This is particularly crucial since one of the girls was
raped and now, at 12 years old, will soon be an adolescent.
Marriage and family therapist Esther Tzer Wong said
child victims in general need to be helped to rebuild
their sense of self-worth.
"They need to regain ownership of their body and know
that it is not something to be manipulated by adults,"
she said.
Agreeing with her, Ms. Mary Bell, a family therapist
who is a member of the Child Abuse Research
and Action Team, an arm of the Society Against Family
Violence, added : "Children should be taught that their
bodies are their own, and that no one should touch
them in a way that they do not like or makes them
feel uncomfortable."
Studies have shown that most abusers are family
members or people that the children are familiar with,
she said. So children should be encouraged to
trust other adults, apart from their parents, so
that they will have someone outside the family to
confide in.
The Ministry of Community Development said that
it works with the police and the medical authorities
to investigate and assess the kind of help needed for
child abuse victims.
The victim and the family will receive counselling
and advice to help them deal with the abuse.
Psychological assessment and help are also provided.
They may also be referred to a family service
centre for counselling.
In Singapore, the Children and Young Persons Act is
in force to protect the young against such sex perverts.
It provides, among other things, for the prosecution
of any person who commits any obsene or
indecent act with a child or young person.
Anyone found guilty can be fined $5,000 or jailed for
two years, or both. If a person commits the same offence
again, the penalty is a $10,000 fine or four years'
jail, or both.
The Act is administered by the Ministry for Community
Development.
Twenty years in jail. Twenty-four strokes of the cane.
Yes, the court of law has passed its maximum
sentence on this beast of a man.
But he will never be judged in the court of the
people. They will never be able to spit his name
in anger.
Unlike other criminals, this beast shall remain
nameless - and faceless.
We want to expose him. So does his wife.
He deserves to be shamed.
But he will never be. Because we can't expose
him - ever.
The law forbis it. Because naming him will
identify the two young children who suffered
so horribly at his hands.
Under the Women's Charter, a man who rapes
or molests his family members can never be
named in media reports. This is to protect
his victims, who may be identified through him.
There are many young women like Lina who put up with incest
by a parent, step-parent, sibling or close relative for years.
According to psychiatrist Dr Ang Peng Chye, they carry the
burden all throghout life.
He says: "One of my patients, a successful career woman,
couldn't have sex with her husband for the first five
years of marriage. She was artificially inseminated but
was too depressed to face childbirth so she had an
abortion.
"She didn't reveal much during our sessions until the day
I asked her to play with the sand tray in my office. She
drew a picture of a seaside. Then she strated to cry. It
reminded her of her cousin abusing her in Katong Park
when she was seven."
Few victims seek therapy and even fewer report the crime.
This happens a lot in Asian families, where losing face
seems to be the biggest crime.
The abuser banks on the victim's helplessness and
strikes, as in Lina's case, again and again.
In those rare instances that a victim does say
something, the reaction she often gets is denial.
Her mother may blame her for the problem if the
offender is the father or step-father.
Hopefully, help is on the way. The police and groups
like Aware have strated a support group for victims.
All police stations have female staff trained in
sexual abuse counselling to help victims with
their report. They ask questions like "What happened?",
"How did you feel?" and "How are you coping?". Then
they go with the victim to a hospital to gather medical
evidence of abuse so that an arrest can be made.
Denial by sex offenders can be broken down as follows
1. Offense
This document was prepared by using information obtained from the
Sources listed above. All information contained herein is correct
at the time of implementation of this Victims' accounts and
its aftermath. Action-aicsa cannot be held responsible for
any inaccuracy, omission or alteration that may occur.
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RELATED FEEDBACK
Girls need help to rebuild self-worth and know correct
social behavior
Source : The Strait Times - Singapore. March 31, 1997
Singapore law
Tell us how to SHAME this beast
Source : The New Paper, Friday, March 7, 1997
Why incest still exists
An incest victim may
:
The Denying Sex Offender
(adapted from a workshop by Anna Salter);
1. Denial of behaviour outright ("I didn't do it.")
1. Deny all offenses
2. Deny some offenses, but admit others
2. Minimization of behaviour ("I did it, but only twice.")
1. Length of time
2. Frequency
3. Severity
4. Degree of harm to victim
3. Rationalization ("I was trying to teach her about sex in a loving way," "I was
examining her to see if she was maturing correctly," etc.)
4. Denial of other deviant behaviours
5. Denial of responsibily ("I was a victim," "She came to me and touched me," etc.)
2. Before Offense
1. Denial of deviant fantasies
2. Denial of planning ("It just happened.")
3. After Offense
1. Denial of current problem
2. Denial of difficulty of change
3. Denial of possibility of relapse
4. Denial of seriousness of effects
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