Naughty Language: Very little
Nudity: None
Sexual situations: Very little
Blood and guts: Lots
Announcers Bobby Rogers and Chris Nelson open the show telling us that the main event, Terry Funk vs. Dusty Rhodes vs. Abdullah the Butcher vs. Kevin Sullivan, is the greatest match in history.
Shannon Rose interviews Dusty Rhodes. Short interview, Dusty’s gonna “beat ‘em like government mules, Jack.”
Shannon Rose interviews the Sandman. “They don’t call me the King of Extreme for nothing.” We’re gonna find out just how extreme Sandman can be.
Shannon Rose interviews “Mr. Technical” Barry Horowitz, who is the Hardcore champion. Barry tells us that “hardcore” means wrestling, not chairs and tables.
Hardcore Title
Rusty Brooks vs. Barry Horowitz
Horowitz is probably familiar to most of you. He was a multi-time jobber in WCW. Rusty Brooks is an old school wrestler who apparently can get hardcore and has a temper. He’s trained wrestlers like Gangrel, Typhoon, etc. Jobbed to Hulk Hogan once, too.
Barry dodges some attacks from Brooks, including a bad-looking clothesline, and pats himself on the back. That’s classic. They trade some European uppercuts before going outside the ring. They brawl a little, and Horowitz actually uses some weapons, like a trash can lid and bull rope. Back in the ring, we find that Barry has some of the best stomps in wrestling. Brooks attacks with a trash can, but gets it dropkicked back into his face. Only problem is that they don’t look like they’re hitting very hard with that can; it’s hardly denting. Barry puts Brooks on a table outside the ring and leg drops him from the apron, but the table doesn’t break, making the fans a little unhappy. More brawling outside, including hitting each other with cups of beer (“Alcohol abuse”). Back in the ring again, Rusty hits the Rusty Bomb (Vader Bomb) for the win and the Hardcore title. I think there was a “Boring” chant at some point...
Winner and new Hardcore champion: Rusty Brooks
Horowitz attacks Brooks and rolls him up, and the ref counts three. FOW goes by the 24/7 Hardcore title rules, so Horowitz is the champ again.
Winner and new Hardcore champion: Barry Horowitz
The Sandman runs out with his smokes and Singapore cane. Horowitz passes the belt to Brooks like it’s a hot potato, and Sandman canes Brooks. He plays to the fans for a moment before Horowitz gets in his face. Sandman acts like he wants to pat Horowitz on the back, and does, then canes him and pins him. He celebrates with the fans afterwards, drinking beer and smoking.
Winner and new Hardcore champion: The Sandman
Shannon Rose interviews Kevin Sullivan, who swears at him. He makes fun of Rose, then says how he (Sullivan) was the man that owned Florida. This is like the day that the bomb was dropped and all that was left were cockroaches, and he’s the toughest cockroach of all. He makes fun of Rose with lewd remarks.
Shannon Rose tries to interview Christian York and Joey Matthews, but they shove him out of the way and say that they’ll vandalize the Vandals in their match. New school is in full effect.
Christian York and Joey Matthews w/ Fabulous Frank vs. The Vandals (Tommy and Ricky) w/ Jodi X
Winners of the match get an immediate shot at the Tag Team titles, currently held by the Redneck Mafia. Matthews and York aren’t big fan favorites here, despite the fact that they’re the better wrestlers. You may remember them; they were in ECW for a little while near the end.
This match is annoyingly slow, but not that bad. I think my main problem is that I can hardly hear the fan reaction, so it sounds dead. Nothing really notable early on. York and Matthews try to leave, but get brought back by the Vandals. York and Matthews show much better teamwork in the match. We have the common “heels control match and keep opponent from his corner, while also illegally double teaming him when his partner gets dumb and distracts the ref” match. “Fans chant “Boring” again. I can’t really argue; there hasn’t been any real notable happenings yet. I guess the most interesting thing is York’s senton splash, no flip, and the taunting before and after, as if it were the best move on earth. Ricky finally tags in, and the announcers get excited for the first time since Sandman appeared. He puts York in the Tree of Woe, and the announcers talk about how that’s Kevin Sullivan’s move. Ricky stands on York’s groin. The Vandals hit a 3D type move, only with a face buster instead of the Diamond Cutter. York and Matthews do their own with a DDT (Problem Solver). Vandal’s get the win using a version of Total Elimination with a spinning clothesline...it’s the Vandalizer.
Winners: The Vandals
The Redneck Mafia, J.J. Kodiak and Big Daddy Gonzo with Flex Magnum, come out and attack. They’re both big fat guys, but their manager’s not.
Tag Team titles
The Vandals vs. The Redneck Mafia w/ Flex Magnum
The Mafia beat on the Vandals for a bit. The Vandals get a little offense with a double cross body and dropkicks. They get taken back down, and Flex Magnum comes in with a chair. He miscues and hits his Kodiak. Gonzo gets mad and is about to hit magnum with the chair, but Tommy comes from the top rope and dropkicks the chair onto his head. Perfect shot. Vandals get the win.
Winners and new Tag Team champions: The Vandals
Shannon Rose interviews Low Ki. Ki says that it’s not the size of the man in the fight, but the size of the fight he brings. All you can do is be ready.
East Coast Wrestling Association title
Low Ki vs. “Marvelous” Mike Sullivan vs. “The Black Nature Boy” Scoot Andrews (champ)
All three of these guys were in at least one of the ECWA’s Super 8 tournament, an annual tournament that showcases high flying and technical wrestling. The announcers say that Low Ki won the Super 8, defeating Andrews in the finals, and that Mike Sullivan was there and made it to the second round. In truth, Low Ki won the 2001 Super 8 by beating the American Dragon in the finals. Scoot Andrews may have been in it that year, but I don’t think so. He did make it to the finals of the 2000 Super 8, but was beaten by Chris Daniels. I don’t know about Sullivan’s history in the tournament.
Match starts with both guys separately trying to feel out Low Ki, and both get a stiff kick to the leg. They ask the ref to check for a foreign object in Ki’s boot, but those’re just real stiff kicks, my friends. This is probably the best match of the show. Low Ki gets in all of his trademarks, including the springboard kick, the cartwheel into corner kick, and the Stardust Press (corkscrew moonsault into 450 splash), which he executes properly this time. His stiff kicks are the move to avoid in the match. At one point Sullivan goes for a top rope fall away slam, and Andrews gets under him and drops him as he does the move. If I’d seen more Sullivan and Andrews, I’d know if they did their trademarks. Sullivan goes for a slingshot suplex on Low Ki, but Andrews catches Low Ki on his shoulder, spins around so Low Ki’s foot kicks Sullivan, and hits the Forces of Nature (sit down Tombstone) for the pin.
Winner and still ECWA champion: Scoot Andrews
Shannon Rose interviews FOW International champion Brother Bruno Sassi or Phi Delta Slam (who is a Christian, might I add, and can be read about in Chad Bonham’s book, Wrestling With God). Sassi starts the interview slow, but gets more intense as he goes. He says that everyone thinks Christopher Daniels is the number one wrestler who isn’t in the WWF(E), but Daniels doesn’t have the title, and Sassi isn’t about to shine it up and hand it over to him just because everyone thinks he’s so great. Welcome to the frat house, it’s initiation time, and the “Fallen Angel” won’t survive “hell week.”
Shannon Rose interviews Christopher Daniels. Daniels says that comparing Sassi to Daniels is like comparing a flashlight to the sun. Sassi isn’t in Daniels’ league. Daniels has won titles everywhere he’s been, and he’ll take Sassi’s title tonight. All Sassi can do about it is say his prayers.
FOW International title
”The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels vs. Bruno Sassi (champ)
Bruno is over with the fans, as they cheer him and boo Daniels. Actually, a few people chant “Fallen Angel,” but not for long. This match is at least the second best match of the show. Sassi is shorter and stockier than Daniels, but he still keeps up with the speedy star. The announcers tell us about how Dave Johnson was the International champion, and he beat such people as Terry Funk, Doink the Clow, Tatanka, Jerry Lawler, etc., but lost the belt to Sassi. The first International title match was in Peru, and they’ve had a few in that area. Daniels hits two of his three trademarks in this one, the double springboard moonsault and the Angel’s Wings (sit out Pedigree). Bruno works over Daniels’ arm throughout the match, a good old school tactic. Daniels can’t believe it when Sassi kicks out of his moonsault, even though everyone else does. Then Sassi kicks out of the Angel’s Wings. Daniels goes for it again, Sassi reverses it and goes for a backslide, Daniels flips over, but Sassi catches him with the Initiation (sit out DDT/face buster) for the win.
Winner and still International champion: Bruno Sassi
Shannon Rose gives the microphone to Honest John, Abdullah the Butcher’s manager. He gets all weird, trying his best to sound like Paul Bearer. He and Abdullah ramble to each other in some odd language, and Abdullah gnaws on John’s hair and the microphone.
Shannon Rose interviews FOW champion Billy Fives. Fives says that Norman Smiley brought him into the business, and now the student becomes the teacher. He’s not afraid of the “Big Wiggle,” and he’s going to put Smiley down and stay champion. Sounded like he improvised that dialogue.
FOW Heavyweight title
Norman Smiley vs. Billy Fives (champs)
Smiley and Fives are apparently friends. This match is okay. Smiley, though, has never interested me. Fives is okay. Norman’s “Big Wiggle” isn’t a move; it’s when he gets his opponent bent over, stands at their backside, and slaps their rear while doing a little dance. It looks rather lewd. Why does anyone care about this gross display? The match is rather slow, too. Fives goes for the move where he gets Smiley’s head as if for a Stunner, then runs up the turnbuckle and back flips, dropping Smiley on the back of his head. I guess it’s a reverse Buff Blockbuster. He does it wrong, though, and it looks like he (Fives) was suplexed. Smiley does an interesting body slam. Smiley gets the win when he reverses the Fallout DDT into the Crossface Chickenwing and Fives taps. Both guys shake hands afterwards.
Winner and new FOW champion: Norman Smiley
Shannon Rose interviews Terry Funk. Funk says “you’ve got every legend in wrestling today,” and he’s the best wrestler in the world. He’s the only true living legend. He kind of rambles, but somehow stays on point. He’s pretty old, so I’m not too surprised. “I have lots of wrestling fans out there.” Well, yeah. He says that “Beyond the Mat” was made about him, but they’ve never made a movie about Abdullah, Sullivan, or Rhodes. Well, there was “I Like to Hurt People,” which was about the Sheik, and featured Rhodes and Abdullah... Funk does a little dance for us.
Fatal Four Way King of Carnage match
”The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes vs. Terry Funk vs. Abdullah the Butcher vs. “The Master of Darkness” Kevin Sullivan w/ Abudadien
Rhodes and Funk are the first two out. Funk comes out to “Old Langzyme,”(sp?) and Terry’s isn’t too happy about it (“May all acquaintance be forgot...”). He blames Rhodes for changing his music, and calls him a fat, egg-sucking dog, but then offers to team with Rhodes against Abdullah and Sullivan, who come out while Funk is rambling. Rhodes actually accepts, but Funk turns on him and everyone attacks Rhodes. Rhodes fires back with Bionic Elbows galore.
The stipulation of this match is that pinfalls are not allowed until all four men are busted open and bleeding. The first fall wins the match. Did I mention that all these guys are over 50, maybe even 60? Sullivan has his old manager, Abudadien, who manages Hack Meyers in FOW regularly. This match is obviously a brawl, with chairs, a fork, Sullivan’s Golden Spike, etc. Rhodes is busted open first, then Abdullah, then Sullivan, and finally Funk. Abdullah stabs the ref and Abudadien. The locker room empties, and most of the FOW wrestlers come in and get beaten up. Kevin Sullivan puts Mike Sullivan in the Tree of Woe and knees him. Funk and Rhodes brawl all over the arena, which is a rodeo arena, so they’re pretty much outside. Abdullah and Sullivan stay in the ring and beat up refs and wrestlers. The only wrestlers I don’t think I see are Sassi, Daniels, and Low Ki. Announcer: “I think I just saw Terry Funk throw a three-year-old, I mean everything’s being used as a weapon here.” Sullivan turns on Abudadien and busts him open. Funk and Rhodes fight around a pick-up truck. Funk gets in the truck, but doesn’t do anything. An “ECW” chant actually starts. Sullivan and Abdullah eventually fight each other again. Did I mention that the only wrestling move in the match is a DDT by Funk? Fabulous Frank gets the worst beating, as Sullivan and Abdullah tear his shirt off and whip him with a belt. Funk and Rhodes fight back top the ring. Funk rolls Rhodes back into the ring and Sullivan pins him.
Winner: Kevin Sullivan
Abudadien gets in the ring to celebrate, but Sullivan attacks him. Funk hits himself with a trash can until Sullivan tries to stop him and gets hit. Rhodes attacks Sullivan with the Golden Spike, then double team him with Funk. All the guys brawl away from the ring. It’s all crazy again. Abdullah and Dusty try to push each other off the rodeo grandstand, but neither have any success. The announcer starts spouting out matches for the next show, where Sullivan has apparently earned a title match against Norman Smiley and Low Ki has earned a light heavyweight title match against Al Bino. The show ends with Rhodes back on top of the grandstand, daring anyone to come and get him.
DVD Bonus match
Light Heavyweight Title
Al Bino w/ Ron Neimi vs. Johnny Vandal vs. J-Dawg (champ)
This was actually the first match of the show. Al Bino wears orange prisoner clothes. Johnny looks like the other Vandals. J-Dawg is the son of Rusty Brooks, even though he looks like he’s black. The match starts in a tag format, with two guys in the ring at once, but doesn’t stay that way. Lots of fast paced moves, this has to be in the top three best matches of the show. They do one of those deals where one guy goes for a superplex, and the other gets under him and powerbombs him while he does it. Al Bino gets a lot of air with a top rope senton to Vandal and J-Dawg who are in the crowd. Al Bino’s the last to get into the ring after it, though. Al Bino gets catapulted over the top rope and hits the guard rail, leaving J-Dawg and Vandal to battle alone, and J-Dawg hits a nice top rope Rocker Dropper. Ron Neimi runs in and nail him hard with a chair, but instead of covering him, Vandal waits for Al Bino to come in. Al Bino hits a German Suplex and holds Vandal down for the pin and the title.
Winner and new Light Heavyweight champion: Al Bino
Final Verdict: FOW claims that they’re the second largest wrestling organization in the U.S. That seems like a large claim to make, despite the fact that this show drew more than 3,000 fans. Everything else of theirs I’ve seen was in a small gym, with nowhere near that kind of crowd. Maybe their non-televised stuff is full.
Anyway, this is probably FOW’s worst show morally, which is actually a compliment, because their isn’t too much bad stuff, as you can tell from my ratings at the top. Their TV shows, which you can buy at their website, Futureofwrestling.com, are obviously kept family-friendly. From hat I’ve seen of FOW, I’d say that they’re a good alternative to the crap on national TV.