You're gothic if...........

* You pay 6 bucks for cigarettes that match your outfit
* You like to play dead in public
* You wake up still drunk at 3 in the afternoon with anonymous black lipstick on your face
* The shade of powder you wear is called "Sheet Of Paper"
* The Count was your favorite Sesame Street character as a child
* You wear long, velvet coats in the middle of summer
* You go to Denny's at 5 in the morning and think, "These are my people"
* You think dead flowers are prettier than live ones
* You refer to your age in mortal years
* You buy $15 fishnets and rip them on purpose
* Your combat boots cost more than it takes to feed a third world child for two years
* You've willingly undergone cosmetic dental surgery
* You own 16 or more Cleopatra c.d.'s
* You own even 1 Projekt c.d.
* You can't decide whether Morticia Addams or Lily Munster is prettier, then decide Wednesday blows them both away
* You were disappointed to find out that "American Gothic" is a portrait of two farmers
* You think of the hearse as a "family car"
* You own a glow-in-the-dark rosary that alternates between your neck and the rearview mirror in your car
* You fashion your eyeliner after a culture that's been dead over 2000 years
* You have seen "Nightmare before Christmas" more than seven times
* Your purse is large, square and metal
* You argue on whether Poppy Z. Brite or Anne Rice has the more realistic view on vampires
* You and your friends take lengthy drives to visit non-local graveyards
* You spell Vampire either Vampyre or Vamphyre
* Your boyfriend complains that his ribs just don't stick out the way they used to
* Your girlfriend complains that you look better in her black, velvet skirt than she does
* You refer to others as "The Normals"
* You are happy when no one has ever heard of your favorite band
* Christians accost you with pamphlets on the street frequently
* You accost Christians with pamphlets on the street
* You and your boyfriend fight over who gets to wear the fangs
* This list made you depressed