Smithers

This page is dedicated to evidence supporting Smithers's illedged homosexuality. Of course, just so you are aware, I only found it incredibly funny when he had these feelings for ONLY Mr. Burns (like a sick, sad fettish or obsession.)

Burns:[overcome with emotion] "I love you, Smithers."
Smithers: "The feeling is more than mutual, sir." luvsmthr.wma

Voice:[cheerfully] "Ninety seconds to core meltdown."
Smithers: "Sir, there may never be another time to say... I love you, sir."
Burns:[disgusted] "Oh, hot dog. Thank you for making my last few moment on earth socially awkward."

(later on in episode)
Voice:[pleasantly] "Thirty seconds to core meltdown."
Burns: "Oh, Smithers, I guess there's nothing left but to kiss my sorry ass good-bye."
Smithers: "May I, sir?"
Burns: "Ugh."

---

Smithers: "People like dogs, Mr. Burns."
Burns: "Nonsense. Dogs are idiots! Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?"
Smithers: "If you did it, sir?" burnsdog.wma

Burns: "What do you think, Smithers?"
Smithers: "I think women and sea-men don't mix."
Burns: "We know what you think!"

Smithers mentions that the preparation for Burns' birthday have begun. Burns laments that he won't get what he wants, and Smithers sympathizes saying "No one ever does." Then he imagines a naked Mr. Burns breaking out of a birthday cake singing "Happy Birthday, Mr. Smithers..." Smithers groans in pleasure at the thought.

(same episode)
Smithers: [dressed in a bear suit] "Here's something that should cheer you up, sir. It's me, sir: Bobo! Hug me! Squeeze me!" [suggestively]"Tug at my fur..."
Burns: [pushing him aside] "Enough! Stop this grotesque charade. Now find my teddy! And oh, er, leave the costume."

[Smithers turns his computer on. A bitmapped Mr. Burns appears]
Burns: [with inconsistent pitch] "Hello, Smithers. You're quite good at turning me on." slip.wma
Smithers: [to Lisa] "Um...you probably should ignore that."

Burns decides to write Jackie Bouvier (Marge's mother) a love-letter.
Burns: [grabbing paper] "Memorandum to Mrs. Bouvier, re: Delineation of Romantic Intentions" -- pfft, too sappy. Smithers, come over here and help me write a mash note to my girlfriend."
Smithers: [rolls eyes] Fine. "Darling one, read my words and hear my heart speak of a love soft and undying: a love that will be with you always. Sincerely," yatta, yatta, yatta.
Burns: "That's marvelous! How did you think of that so fast?"
Smithers: "I [sobs] sent it to you on your birthday! [cries] Excuse me, I have something in my eye!"

Smithers: "...Sideshow Bob's ultra-conservative views, er, conflict with my...choice of lifestyle."

When a record thrown by Moe hits Smithers in the head, Smithers appears to get excited when he sees the record's title "It's raining Men."

Burns: "Smithers, take off my belt."
Smithers: "With pleasure, sir!" takeoff.wma

Burns: "Excellent. Once again the wheel has turned, a day in fortune has hugged Monty Burns to her sweet perfumed bosom. Somebody up there likes me, Smithers."
Smithers: "Somebody down here likes you too, sir."
Burns: "Shut up Smithers!"