Adam: Does that mean I owe you ten bucks?
Alex: No, it just means you're ten in the hole.
Garrett: I think you should make him pay the ten dollars.
Adam: Fuck you! If I owe ten, you owe 500!
Colin: Shooot...I'm in debt for life...
Alex: Let's shut up and play Jeopardy. The categories for Double Jeopardy are...Canadian Provinces, Famous Chefs, Colors, Positions Available, and Bands you Know. Garrett, you're in charge of the board.
Garrett: And the band.
Alex: Just pick a category.
Garrett: How about....Famous Chefs for 300.
Alex: "This famous chef is well known for his catch phrase, ‘Bam!'"
Colin: >falls to the floor< Ack! Open fire!!!
Alex: >sighs< No Colin, that's this chef's catchphrase.
Garrett: Who is the Muffin Man?
Alex: No.
Adam: Who is.......your mother!
Alex: Forget it..Colin, do you have any clue as to what famous CHEF might say...Bam?
Colin: Umm....
Alex: He also likes to say, "lets kick things up a notch..."
Colin: Umm....who is....
Garrett: who is Colonel Mustard?
Alex: I'm sorry, you had your turn.
Adam: I still think your mother says ‘Bam'...that's what she said last night!!!!
Alex: Oh, lord take me now. Colin! Do you have any idea?
Colin: Who is..............the Swedish Chef?
Alex: No, Im sorry that is incorrect. Garrett you're still in charge of the board.
Garrett: The band, Alex...the band...I'm in charge of the freaking band!!
Alex: Nevermind. Adam, you choose.
Adam: I'll take...Playboy Bunnies for 69 thousand!!!
Alex: >sigh< Colin *you* choose.
Colin: Um....Canadian Provinces for twelvetianmillion please
Alex: That's not a correct amount...but oh well. The question is..."This province is where you live."
Adam: What is the playboy mansion!!
Garrett: What is...er...Where is...Carmen Sandiago! >laughs at own joke<
Alex: Riiiigggghhhhttttt.....Um, it's where you live in Canada.
Colin: Toronto?
Alex: Close...but think of the big picture...
Adam: Um.....Canada.
Alex: We have already established that...
Garrett: Well what the fuck? ...we're in Canada, we're in Toronto...what more could you EFFing want??
Alex: >bangs head on podium< The province you live in!!
Colin:....Canada?
Adam: I know! Regina!!!! >falls over laughing, Colin starts giggling<
Garrett: Saskatchewan?
Alex: NO! You live in Ontario!!! Ontario!!! ONTARIO! JESUS! On to the next question from the category...Colors....The sky is–
Colin: What is Ontario?
Alex: >painful grimace< THE SKY IS THIS COLOR.
Adam: Why is it spelled "color"?
Garrett: You Americans bastardize everything. Color looks better as "Colour". Frikken neanderthals...
Colin: Who is Emeril Legasse!!!
Alex: Colin, you are two questions behind, and I am not even going to comment on the spelling of "color"
Colin: Pink?
Alex: No!
Colin: It is so! At night...or..right after the sun goes down...it turns a beautiful pink...
Adam: Much like Alex's mother!!
>all three crack up laughing<
Alex: The answer is "blue" Moving on...Oh fudge. From the category Positions Available...
Adam: OH BOY!
Alex: >pulls out bottle of Cyanide and sets it on podium< "This job title means you are in charge of handling paperwork."
Adam: Doggy style! WHOOOO!!!!! >makes pelvic thrusts<
Garrett: Ugh, you are one sick, sick, sick boy...
Colin: >covers his eyes and crouches behind his podium< Oh Mama mia...
Adam: What? Are you GAY?
Alex: The answer is, What is a Secretary. >pulls out bottled water and eyes the cyanide wistfully<
Garrett: NO, I am not! Maybe you are, seeing on how you have to expose your "heterosexuality" every second! I think you really are gay but you pretend not to be because you are self conscience to a T!
Adam: >sing songy< Garrett's gay...Garrett's gay....Gary is gay...Gary gay! Gay gay! That's your new nickname! Gay Gay!
Garrett: >Leaps on top of podium and tackles Adam< FUCK YOU!! AND DON'T CALL ME GARY!!!
Adam: >screams like girl< AIIIEEEEE! HE WANTS TO KISS ME!!!
Colin: La la la, what was the question again?
Alex: Colin, since you're the only one paying even a brain cell's worth of attention, here is a question just for you, from the category, Bands you Know. "Martin Tielli is from this Toronto band which consists of four members total."
Colin: Steinberger!
Alex: Um...no...that's his guitar.
Colin: Who is Dave Bidini!
Alex: NO....that's the other guitarist in the band!!
Colin: Um...Thin Buckle!!
Alex: You are so close...but thin buckle has 5 members otherwise I'd give you that one.
Colin: ........what is...P.I.N.
Alex: No! God! Who let you guys on this show??? You are idiots!! The answer is "The Rheostatics!" God, that's your favorite band!!
Colin: Im such a failure! And my friends are fighting! And Adam and Garrett are gaaaayyyyyyy.....>SOB!<
Adam: I AM NOT, HE IS! >being strangled by Garrett<
Garrett: I AM NOT, HE IS!! >strangling Adam<
Alex: You're all gay....
Adam: That's not what your mother said! AHAHAHA!!!
>all three crack up again<
Garrett: >wiping tears of laughter from his eyes< Let's never fight again!
Adam: SNORT...It's not me, its you! I love you man! >gives Garrett a man hug<
Alex: Isn't that.....disgusting.
Colin: Yay! We're a band again! Even if two members are gay!
Adam: I AM NOT GAY!
Garrett: NEITHER AM I!
Alex: >swallows entire bottle of cyanid and gulps down the water< Ok, since I don't have much time left...let's jump to Final Jeopardy. The final jeopardy category is Chinese Dynasties...oh...fuck it. Write down your favorite color...such as...blue...or perhaps even green. Purple the way things are going here...
>theme music<
Alex: Ok, let's see what we have. Adam, I see you have written down..."Girls Gone Wild II." No, Im sorry that's your favorite MOVIE. What did you wager? Oh, I see you drew a stick figure with boobs.
Adam: That's your mother you silly prick!!
Alex: >chokes back a painful sob< Anyway...Garrett...what is your answer? "Yelloah" No...Im sorry that is not a color. What did you wager? "Alex's genitals." Lovely...Colin...please oh please have gotten this correct. Hmm...I see you just scribbled in the screen.....well....white is a color..kind of.....oh screw it, it's correct! What did you wager? "The Rheostatics" >Alex beats his head on Colin's podium< That's it! I quit! I am sick of this job! You are all fucking morons!! I...>falls over<
Adam: Oh my god, you killed Alex!
Colin: You....bad...guy. You. Yeah...
Garrett: Good night everybody!!