If Only in a Goodbye
by Veste Notus
“How much?”
“Enough.”
“No… Really…”
Heero just rolled his eyes. He knew that the only way to win this tiny battle would be to use Duo logic. “Enough, enough.”
To his surprise, it worked. Duo just stared a silent response into Heero’s eyes. Duo squinted ever so slightly, as Heero’s figure barely managed to block out the sun behind him.
Heero and Duo still sat in their grassy field, as unsure of themselves as ever, yet considerably calmer.
Heero couldn’t recall a time he’d been further at peace. After coming to terms with the fact that Duo was the cause, Heero felt a burden lifted off him. It was as if he’d been weighed down all those years without even knowing it, and now he felt light as a feather.
He felt like he could dance, like he could soar, and he wanted never ever to go back to what he was before.
Duo slumped against Heero’s shoulder, showing no signs of moving from that spot.
The two stayed frozen like that for a time, counting breaths and heartbeats. They unconsciously synchronized their breaths and memorized each other’s scents. Heero counted the weaves in Duo’s braid while Duo counted the scars on Heero’s right arm alone.
“Fifteen.”
“Twelve.”
“No. Ten.”
“I was counting your neck too.” Heero laid a hand to his neck, covering the imaginary twin scars.
“Duo, I think I would know…” The next sound Heero made was more of a yelp. Duo tackled Heero into the grass and pinned the Japanese boy beneath him while two sharp teeth pierced the sensitive skin of his neck.
Duo released his captive with a smug lick of his lips.
“Twelve.”
“Baka.”
“How much?” Heero traced his two new ‘scars’ with his index finger.
“A little more…”
“C’mon, Heero…” came the whine.
“Enough that if I died tomorrow, I would regret not kissing you today.” Duo gave a weak, bittersweet smile, but then turned away.
“Are you ready yet, Heero?”
“Ready for what?”
“Are you ready to fly away with me? You promised you would join me.”
“Duo… I…”
“Your wings aren’t broken, and I’ll prove it to you. Just trust me. Give me your hands and we’ll fly. I want to fly away with you… Fly away from war, pain, emptiness… I want to be free.”
Heero was unsure of himself. “Duo… what if I fall?”
“Then I too will fall. I want to be with you, Heero. I want to be a part of you. If you soar, so will I. If you fall, I will keep you company for the descent. All I’m asking for is your trust.”
“It’s yours.”
“How much?”
“A bit more.”
“Enough, enough?”
“No… Beyond that.”
“More than a lot?”
“Yes, Duo. Much more than a lot. I promise.”
Duo picked himself up and gave Heero a helping hand. From there, the two boys ran. They ran past the vast lake and the clear sky. They ran through the infinite blues that willingly engulfed them and made them forget.
They ran through cerulean and midnight, through vivid violet and thistle. They ran until their muscles were tight and sore – their breaths: gulps for air. Stopping at a Wisteria tree, Heero looked over the edge.
While he stared, Duo came up behind him and circled his arms around Heero’s waist.
“Are you ready, koibito?” Heero closed his eyes and inhaled Duo’s familiar scent.
“Always for you.”
And with that, the two boys clasped one another’s hands and jumped. The warm wind picked up, scattering Wisteria petals to play with the flying souls.
Soft pinks and purples danced through chestnut and sepia hair. Cerulean met amethyst and breaths stopped. Ever descending, the two drew close, intertwining themselves. Their lips drew closer too, yet they did not touch.
“I love you…”
White.
Heero would wake up cold, isolated, and empty amidst broken gundams and shattered lives. His skin would tear and his blood would spill. Heero would wake up to a nightmare, startling him out of his dream.
Before his mind reached consciousness, he breathed a soft sigh and spilled past his lips fragments of his fading dream.
“I love you too… enough to regret today not kissing you yesterday…”
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