How Long Forever Is
by Sprinkles
5/30/A.C. 195
There was no sweet, enjoyable sleep in for Duo this morning. Heero got up at the ungodly hour of 6:00 AM, and Duo, not wanting to be called a lazy ass (and miss the hot water in the shower), had to get up and beat Heero to the bathroom. Admittedly this was not much of a race because Heero, knowing how important a hot shower was to Duo, made no attempt at winning.
Under the hot spray, Duo remembered how he loved to sing in the shower, a point that he had rather forgotten in the last few days. //Oh well. No use crying about it now. I wonder if...// Duo tapped on the wall with his fingers. They made an oddly rhythmic sound. He soon began tapping with both hands and his feet. He clapped his hands, drummed with his scrub brush, tapped on the tile, slid on the soap and made an almighty crash when he fell on his ass. Which of course brought the concerned cries of his friends...
"MAXWELL! WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON IN THERE?!"
Smiling at Wufei's irritated query, Duo toweled himself off. Back in the bedroom, Heero was nowhere to be found, which was rather unfortunate because Duo had hoped to show off a little skin. He quickly got dressed and headed to his Gundam to make some routine checks. At the thought of his Gundam, an uneasiness flared up inside him. Why was he so nervous? It was just another mission.
All systems were go. Duo got in the cockpit and waited for everyone to fire up the engines.
Five minutes later they were on their way to outerspace.
Duo tried to maintain his calm. For some reason he was extremely nervous. //Jeez, what's wrong with me? I feel like some rookie. Shape up, Maxwell!// He told himself angrily. //It's just like any other mission.//
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
//Goddamn, not again.// Duo thought before he realized that Heero's laptop was not the thing beeping. //Oh, the new intercom thing.//
[WingGundam]: Quatre says you sounded a bit tired this morning. Are you unwell?
[GundamDeathscythe]: No, I’d never compromise the success of a mission by being unwell.
[WingGundam]: …
[GundamDeathscythe]: Heero, What good am I without my voice? I can’t warn anybody or even call for help.
[WingGundam]: That’s why I want you to be careful. Remember what I said.
[GundamDeathscythe]: I know, I know. You don’t want to lose a ‘valuable member of the team’.
[WingGundam]: No, Duo. It’s you I don’t want to lose. And besides, I’m fully confident your voice will comeback.
[GundamDeathscythe]: ?
[WingGundam]: I mean it. There is no medical explanation, but sometime willpower can help what science can not.
[GundamDeathscythe]: How the hell do you figure?
[WingGundam]: After self-destructing so many times, you learn some things.
[GundamDeathscythe]: Well, I’d love to believe you Heero, but I heard what Sally said. There’s no chance of my voice coming back. It’s gone forever, Heero. Do you have any idea how long forever is?
As the words he had just typed appeared on the screen, Duo realized his heart. He had thought he had accepted his muteness but now he knew. He was afraid. He was afraid of being useless to the team. He was afraid of being discharged from a team that he had become so close to.
A hot, sick feeling flashed through Duo. //Do I mean that? Have I really given up?// There was a pregnant pause.
Duo cut the communication, and tried to breathe deeply through his constricting throat.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
[GundamDeathscythe]: What now?!
[GundamSandrock]: Sorry, just testing the system...
It was just Quatre. Duo sighed his relief. Talking with Heero was mentally and emotionally taxing.
[GundamSandrock]: I’m glad you feel well enough for this mission. You know, we almost didn’t think you were going to make it. You’d lost a lot of blood and I didn’t think Heero was up to risking the success of the mission by raiding the local hospital even for a teammate. Not that it was wrong of him, it was the best thing to do, but it’s a bit out of character.
Damn, now he felt guilty for yelling, so to speak, at Heero. Duo scowled. Quatre had the most uncanny way of making a person feel guilty without even knowing the circumstances.
[GundamDeathscythe]: Yeah.
There was no more room for talk as the Gundams hit the lowest reaches of space. The MDs with the built-in cloaking device, dubbed "Cloakers" by the Gundam team, descended on them like a plague of locusts.
Every pilot found himself at a disadvantage. Quatre was forced to extend both sickles and spin in an undignified circle. Trowa didn't even need to aim his bullets; he was so surrounded by the enemy. Wufei was putting his dragonarm to good use, seeming to be busy but still under control. It was Heero that Duo was worried about.
Heero seemed intent on cutting down every "Cloaker" in sight. He was not circling; instead he focused on the MDs in front of him. A wild thought occured to Duo. //It's as if he's taking this whole mission personally...// And it hit him. Heero was taking the mission personally, as if to prove that he would let not anymore missions fail.
At that moment Duo was jolted back into reality as the MDs massed around him. It was if OZ had a never ending supply...
Trowa, having long since run out of ammo, was using his blades and spinning like Quatre. Wufei was moving a little faster and not quite so gracefully.
Duo glanced over at Heero. The "Cloakers" were massing behind him. As soon as Heero turned, they'd blow him to pieces. Duo sent Deathscythe spinning with its scythe extended to buy himself time.
//Heero// Duo typed into the text-intercom //The cloakers are ganging up behind--//
Suddenly a blinding light flooded the area. A shot from a cloaker had disabled the entire right side of the cockpit. Electricity crackled from the wires and blood dripped down Duo's face. Clinging to consciousness by a thread, Duo realized that the text-intercom was totally killed. Without thinking, he activated the vocal intercom. No sound came out of his mouth.
//DAMN IT!!// Duo screamed in his head. He looked at Heero, who was unwittingly being surrounded by the MD's behind him. Ten more seconds and not even Wing would be able to stand the force of all of the guns.
It was unfair. After all the times Heero had pulled him out of problems, the one time Duo saw that Heero was in danger and he couldn't do a damn thing to stop it! A tear of frustration was angrily brushed from Duo's eye.
As more MD's convened behind Heero, time appeared to slow, and all the progress he had made with Heero seemed to flicker before his eyes.
"Don't. I like it." Duo had declared all those days ago.
"You like what?" Came Heero's confused question.
"Your smile."
"No!" Duo tried to say. It came as cough of air.
And just now...
*It's /you/ I don't want to lose...*
//Heero, I can't lose you now.// Duo tried again with his voice. "Heero..." It was an unintelligible gravelly sound.
*Willpower can help what science can not...*
"Heero." Duo kept trying. His voice came out as a grunted "eeooh."
//NO! That's not good enough!//
*After self-destructing so many times...* Heero's voice continued its pleasant mantra in Duo's head.
"Heero..." His voice was the weakest whisper, but he could understand the name he spoke. //Come on, Maxwell! Try harder! You can't lose him now!//
And the shock hit Duo broadside. After seeing Heero escape so many times before, he had not realized...
//But this time you won't come back, will you, Heero? You'll be gone forever...//
And this time his own voice answered him in his head...
*Do you have any idea how long forever is...?*
"HEERO! BEHIND YOU!!"
Wing turned and cut down the MD's with a few quick slices.
Space was now silent, with everyone having destroyed OZ's MDs. Only Heero's relieved voice crackled through the intercom.
"Good call." A feeble attempt at humor.
But Duo was already unconscious.
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