Tugboat sinking near Jacksonville Florida

Radio Digest
September 17, 1999

CNN Falls Prey To Stern Fan Again

By Tomm Looney

Wednesday, the nation's cable TV news junkies sat waiting for
Hurricane Floyd to slam into Florida or CNN or the Carolinas.

As we info junkies watched hour after hour, just as we did when
JFK, Jr. disappeared, we were caught off-guard once again by the
old reliable Captain Janks, according to the New York Post.

Even though we the people are never ready, it seems as though the
CNNs and the others would be. Alas, they were not ready!

Alas? Did I just say "alas"? I'm far too young to say "alas." As a
Gen-Xer, let me rephrase that:

Even though we the people are never ready, it seems as though the
CNNs and the others would be. But, Baba Booey, they were not
ready!

The detail-oriented CNN behind-the-scenes crew took a Piper Cub
Saratoga nosedive once again as America watched in horror - or in
stitches, depending on how stuffed your shirt is.

Yesterday, as Hurricane Floyd stalked these United States, the USS
Kennedy rescued eight crew members from a tugboat sinking
several hundred miles northeast of Jacksonville, Fla.

CNN had already interviewed Admiral Mike Johnson, so nothing
seemed out of order when he called back with some more lowdown
on the rescue efforts. "Admiral Johnson" reported that the men
were safe, suffering only from hypothermia.

"Why did they have to abandon ship?" the CNN spokesmodel
inquired. "Well, because Howard Stern told them to do it,"
answered "Admiral Johnson."

There were audible moans of oh-no-not-again anguish from the
CNN gaffe-staff, before the puffy hairdo behind the desk
sheepishly divulged on the air that it was a hoax.

Again, the hoaxster was not an admiral - merely a captain.

 

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