Claws, Clicks, and –poofs- with special guest Flashgriffin!

What Happened When They Babysat the X-Babies
Chapter 2
You want me to do what?!

Cyke and Lil Wolvie stared at the front door. Lil Wolvie wasn't scared, and Cyke pretended not to be just to save face. He remembered what happened the last time he was over to this house. It was a scary place, and he still had to go to the bathroom. Ice grinned with hope as the door creaked open slowly, fully expecting to see Yezra's smiling face. Smiling at Ice, that is, until she saw what Ice had brought along. What she got was something far different than that.

Nick Fury came to the door, in nothing more than a pair of faded blue jeans, eyepatch and cigar. A lit cigar. Scanning him appreciatively from head to toe before saying hello, Ice smiled at him warmly.

"Hiya Nicholas."

He nodded, looking at the 'children', who had decided this man was just too big for either of them, and they were now behind Ice's legs.

"Princess. Yer lookin' good as usual. What's with the fidgets?"

"Lookin' good yerself, Colonel. These are two of the X-Babies."

"Yez don’t mix with fidgets, X or otherwise. You know that."

"Can I see her, please? I'm desperate, Nick."

Nick sighed and let her by, knowing he would live to regret it. Lil Wolvie got a little braver and started to look around; they hadn't been there since the telling of The Black Boots. Cyke stayed glued to Ice's leg, especially when the Great Dane came forward to smell him. He buried his visor in Ice's pants, just below her butt, and whined.

"Cyke honey, it'll be okay," Ice said, slightly annoyed, and prying him off of her.

"I see the lit'ler Scooter don’t know what ta do with a woman either." Fury scoffed, watching her maneuver the urchin around her leg. "Nina, go lay down now." The dog looked up at Fury affectionately and then strolled away.

"What's with the lit cigar? I thought there was no smokin' in the Queen's domain, Nick."

He grinned, letting a trail of smoke sliver out of his lips. "Me an' Yez are playin' strip- uh," he glanced at the kids. Cyke was still preoccupied with Ice's leg, but Lil Wolvie's head popped up at the word 'strip'. Ice glared at him and Fury quickly re-thought his response. "Uh, we're playin' cards. An she din't have a whole lot… uh.. left to uh… add to the pot… when she lost the last hand, so she conceded to lettin' me light up." He grinned, taking another puff, clearly delighting in the fact that he was doing it in the Queen's domain.

"I see. So she'll need a few minutes before we can see her, huh?"

"Well, you can go see her right now, but the kids…"

"Specially the little feral one, huh?"

"Yeah."

Ice tilted her head at Nick and smiled. "Then you watch them for a few, I'll be back." Before he could respond, she darted down the hall and left him with the two X-babies. Cyke swallowed, looking up at him like the giant he was. "Hi, Misther." His lower lip quivered.

Fury rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch. "Don’t touch nuthin'. Ice'll be back soon." I hope.

***

Ice found Yezra in her basement, sitting at the card table with a bottle of whiskey and a bag of smokehouse almonds, down to no more than her matching bra and panty set.

"Hey, chica!"

"Hiya Ice! What's doin'?"

"Oh, man, he's beating you awful, huh?"

"Yeah… never play cards with him, Princess. I know he's cheatin', but I can’t prove it."

Ice smiled and sat down next to Yezra. "I got a problem and I need your help."

Yez's face grew serious. "Tell me."

Ice swallowed. She wasn't quite sure how to say it, so she just blurted it out. "Logan wants me to help him baby-sit all the X-babies at the mansion and when I say all I mean all and that's just too many for me to handle alone and I was hoping praying wishing that you'd be good enough to help me do it and today it's even my birthday and all." She bit her lower lip and took a deep breath.

Yezra blinked. She pursed her lips for a moment, then quietly said, "Happy Birthday honey."

"Uh… thank you?" Ice raised her eyebrows in a gesture that really said "Please please please help me?"

Yezra stood up slowly, straightened her demi-bra and string bikini thong panties, decorated with red hearts on a yellow background, cleared her throat, put up her hands, and said: "No."

Ice started begging, then Yezra turned to go upstairs, Ice in tow, pleading all the way. They could be heard arguing from the living room, and Lil Wolive and Cyke ran down the hall to see what was up before Nick could stop them. They both skidded to a halt when Yezra and Ice came out of the basement. Ice looked away, grimacing. Nick covered his face and winced. Cyke's baby visor almost fell off his head. Lil Wolvie just grinned from ear to ear.

"Wow, Miss Yezra! Nice bleepin' panties!"

Yezra smirked at him and said, "Thanks, kid," and walked into her bedroom, giving Nick a very smug smile. Ice followed her and shut the door.

Cyke tugged on Nick's jeans. "Misther?"

Nick didn't answer.

"Hey, Misther?!" He tugged harder.

Still no answer.

" Misther Misther Misther Misther Misther?!"

"What? What do ya want fer crissakes?"

"What wath wrong with Mith Yethra's Panthies? She wath mithin' half of 'em on the back."

"No she whuddunt," said Lil Wolive, grinning and trying to look through the door knob.

"Hey you little brat! Get away from there! Now!"

"Make me, gramps!" He stuck his tongue out at Fury and Nick could feel his good eye developing a twitch.

***

"Yez, girlfriend, I love you I love you you are the best!" Ice squeezed her friend tight and squealed. Yezra stood still in her living room, glaring at the two X-Babies then back at Nick. Finally, she got tired of the love and shoved Ice away.

"Oh! Get off of me already!" She straightened her black T-Shirt and smoothed down her jeans. "I can’t believe I let ya talk me into this again." She crossed her arms and shook her head.

"Mith Yethra?" Cyke tried not to anger her and looked sheepish while he sniffled, crying slightly. Wolvie shoved him.

"What?" She stared at him point blank and didn’t waver.

"Why do you hate me? What did I do this time?" Little tears spilled out of his visor and he sobbed twice.

Yezra looked over at Ice who mouthed the 'awwwww' sound and looked at Nick smiling. She rolled her eyes and got down on the kid's level. She smiled tightly and took Cyke's little hand in her own, shaking it. "It's not that I hate you honey," she said with sweetness in her voice. Nick knew better; it was only aspartame. "It's that I hate all children." She dropped the kid's hand and left him there. Lip trembling, Cyke began to wail. Nick covered his ears.

"Aw, Yez, didja havta do that? You scared him!" Ice pat Cyke on the back while Wolvie giggled.

Yezra was already on her way to the fridge before he even started crying. She pulled two drumsticks out of the freezer, giving one to each kid. Wolvie grinned at her and ripped off the wrapper, tossing it on the floor. Cyke immediately stopped crying and removed his wrapper carefully, holding it out for one of the 'big people' to take away. Yez crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows sarcastically. Ice took the paper.

"Dammit, Yezra! Those were the last two! I wanted one!" Nick actually stuck out his lower lip a little. She sighed, annoyed, and grabbed Cyke's drumstick away from him. Yezra held it out of his reach as he began to wail again. She looked at Nick and pointed to the child. Nick curled his lip and covered his ears again.

"See? You want I should take it away from him?" She barked. Nick shook his head quickly and she handed the treat back to Cyke, who stopped shrieking and put it in his mouth. "Good. Now everyone just shut up, and get in the truck."

Nick plopped down on the couch as the authors and the X-Babies went for the door, saying, "Have a good time, my Queen. Try not ta kill 'em." He chuckled to himself, pleased with his little joke. Then he felt Yezra's fingers yanking him up by the earlobe.

"Ow! Lemme go, woman!" She sneered at him as she dragged him to the front door.

"If I gotta go, then yer goin' too, Meatball!"

"No freakin' way! I don’t gotta do this, Yezra! Ferget it!" He leaned down as she yanked harder. "Ow ow ow ow…" Remarkably, all the kids did was watch, disinterested, and lick their ice cream. Nick was nearly to his knees and she got in his face, whispering menacingly.

"Argue with me Nicholas. Go ahead. I'll cut you off."

Ice put a hand over her mouth to hide her wide, shocked smile. Yez waited. Nick curled his lip. "Okay!" He bellowed. "Okay, I'll do it. But you owe me. Big." She let him go and he rubbed his ear.

"Don’t I always?" She scoffed, pushing them all out the door.

***

"Take a left here, Ice."

"Why? Wolvie's meeting me at home to help us -poof- back to Xavier's."

"We'll go there, but first we're gonna get more help. We need more help."

"Who?"

"Flashgriffin is home today. She is young. She is strong. She has much stamina for young people. She will babysit with us."

Ice grinned, "Heh, that's cruel. You aren’t even gonna give her a choice are you?"

"Nope."

Nick made a scornful noise as he sat next to Yezra. "I know exactly how she feels."

"Oh shut up, Nicholas." He looked back at her, pouting. She titled her head and put a hand on his thigh. "I gave you a choice last night, didn’t I? Several of them, if I remember correctly." He grinned slowly and looked out the window, almost blushing. Ice shook her head and looked in the rear-view mirror at the two kids in the back seat.

"Oh Lord…" she muttered.

"What, what is it?" Yezra looked at her concerned.

"They're almost done with the drumsticks."

Yez opened her mouth, shut it, then opened it again. "Step on it, Ice. Move!"

***

"Remy, be a pet and get that, would you?"

Gambit smiled at his author, his only permanent author, and got up. "But of course, Chere." He strolled to the front door of Flashgriffin's house and opened the door.

"'Ello?"

"Hey!" Ice smiled.

"Remy!" Yezra grinned.

"Ma Petites!" Both women flew into his arms and gave him big hugs. "How is de Royal family, eh?"

"So this is where you've been hiding yourself! You sneak!" Ice hit him softly, accepted the one-kiss-per-cheek-greeting he gave her, and she walked into Flashgriffin's computer room.

"Remy - You finally got yerself an author. Congrats, et sequentia." Yez kissed him sweetly and walked away. The kids ran past his feet and followed them.

Nick eyed him. "Cajun." He nodded.

"Mon General," Remy said with just as much acid in his tone as Nick's.

"You always gotta kiss 'em hello like that?"

"Yes," he said, grinning annoyingly, "I do."

"Pretty boy…" Nick muttered, following the women.

***

"Of course I'll help you! I've been trying to get Remy to take me to Xavier's for two weeks now. He won’t take me."

"S'probably cuz he's scared o' Rogue." Nick rubbed his neck and shot Remy a look.

Yezra glared at him. "Griffin, this is my muse, Colonel Nicholas Joseph Fury of SHIELD." She nudged him in the arm. "Say 'hi' to the nice young lady who is going to help us control the urchins, Meatball."

"Uh, hello… Meatball?" Flashgriffin held out a hand.

Fury shook her hand gently. "Call me Nick or Nicholas, Sweetheart."

Ice looked them all over, very happy with herself. "Cool! Three authors and their muses! This'll be a breeze!"

"Yeah," Yezra muttered, "Woo-hoo."

They all climbed in the truck and headed for Ice's.

"I gotta go to th' bathroom, Mith Ithe."

"Get away from me and go sit next to Nick," Yezra muttered.

Ice groaned, and put the pedal to the floor.

***

-poof-

Wolverine was surprised to see the others, but grateful nonetheless. Way grateful. Too grateful.

"Uh, Ice, baby?" He cleared his throat.

She was immediately suspicious. "What? What happened?"

"There's… um. There's more of 'em."

Yezra grabbed Logan by the collar and pulled his face close to hers. "How. Many. More." She grit her teeth.

"Uh… Uh… well, ya see," he swallowed.

"Logan, answer the Queen or deal with the Princess." Ice shot him a warning glance.

"Well… it seems we got the Lil' X-Babies… an' some Lil' Avengers… a couple crossover kids… an' one er two others…"

Yezra let his collar go, the blood draining from her face. She stepped back, leaning on her muse. "Where do they all come from…?" she whispered, barely even heard. Nick slapped her lightly on the face.

"It's Marville, Yez. Best not ta ask that, kay?" Logan shrugged.

Ice moaned. "Yez, don't leave me now. Please. We're gonna need someone to keep 'em too scared to misbehave."

"I'm gonna want shoes for this, Wolvie. Leather ones. Lots of 'em. From Italy. An' I wanna buy 'em with your card, in Italy. You got me, Canuck?" Nick looked at Logan, nodding his head frantically for the feral to accept Yez's offer. He knew that tone of voice all too well.

"Not a problem, yer Highness."

Ice crossed her arms. "And since it's my birthday, I get the Italian leather jacket. The one that's gonna set you back 4 figures."

"Ice! Baby, don’t be mad! I got suckered inta-"

She interrupted him, shaking a finger. "Don’t you 'baby' me! The X-babies?! Okay. No problem. There's a lot of them, sure - but no problem!" She gestured with her palms wide. "But this? That many little kids - with powers?! Hell, you can get me the hip boots with solid gold buckles to match, Bub!"

"Ice, Darlin', ya gotta believe me whe-"

"Not another word or I get 'em in more than one color!"

Logan slumped.

Remy could be heard snickering in the back. "You two be muse-whipped. Dat's de saddest t'ing Gambit ever seen." Griffin hit him in the arm. Hard. "Ow! Griffie! Gambit not referrin' to you!"

"I'll take the tailored lambskin pants, Cajun!"

Remy at least knew how to shut up sooner than the other two.

Cyke tugged on Yezra's T-shirt. "What're hip booths, Mith Yethra?"

"They're kinda like them panties Miss Yezra's gots on, ya idiot - they're somethin' yer girlfriends are never gonna wear," Lil' Wolvie snickered.

"My God in Heaven," Yezra groaned, burying her face in her hands.

-poof-

-poof-

-poof-

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