What Happened When They Babysat the X-Babies
Chapter 6
NEVER give a kid bubblegum

After Logan had yelled at them in the kitchen, the toddlers had actually started to behave. Witchie had stopped bawling and just fiddled with her little red headpiece while lil’ Quicksilver slowed down his pace to something that any of the three adults could catch easily if the need came up. Sugah, Sparkler and Hawkey were huddled together, playing a game of “I Spy”. Wolvie and Copycat walked close to their older counterpart/creator, Wolvie grumbling the entire time about how close Hawkey was walking with Sparkler. For once he didn’t mind that Copycat was holding his hand. Logan, Ice and Trevor took up the rear of the group, three trays of food and drink between them. They made it to the classroom in record time; none of the little pint sized heroes had tried anything funny.

Logan kicked the door closed and set his tray on one of the desks. All at once, it happened.

“Leggo a’ that sandwich! It’s mine!”

“I didn’t see yer name on it Birdbrain, make me!”

“Boys, don’t fight! There’s plenty of food for everyone!” Ice’s pleas were being ignored. Lil’ Quicksilver dashed around, getting his own lunch faster than anyone else. Witchie held out her hands and hexed Sugah, making the indestructible girl fall on her face, getting her own share of food. Sugah glared at her and made a motion to take off her gloves, but a glare from Logan stopped her. Sparkler and Copycat stood there, watching the boys get in the other’s face. Even this mini-Clint was taller than the lil’ Logan, but somehow they both got nose to nose. Hawkey glared, then looked down at the peanut butter and banana sandwich. He scrunched up his nose and sneezed.

“There! It’s gots my germs on it! It’s mine!” Wolvie rolled his eyes and devoured the whole thing in less than five seconds.

“I goths a healinght facthor,” he said with his mouth full. Sparkler stuck out her tongue, Copycat went “Ewww!”

“He’s your boyfriend,” Sparkler whispered. Sugah giggled, then after she got over her blush, Copycat joined in with the giggling. Wolvie frowned, then tried to argue, but the peanut butter had gotten stuck to the roof of his mouth.

“I’m NOT her boyfriend!” he bellowed, finally getting his mouth unstuck. That didn’t stop the lil’ X-Women from giggling, nor did it stop Ice from joining them.

“Mister Wolvie! Make ‘em stop!” he howled. Trevor was holding back a hoot of laughter, Witchie was giggling at the desk she had managed to crawl up on, her feet dangling over the floor. Lil’ Quicksilver ran around the room faster than Wolvie could catch him, yelling out things that made the little feral even more upset.

“Wolvie likes Copycat! Wolvie likes Copycat! He’s her boyfriend!” Logan glanced down at the trio of laughing girls, then at the enraged furball, then at Ice, who happened to be leaning against his side, laughing her head off from where they were perched on top of the instructor’s desk. Then he looked back at Wolvie.

“Sorry kiddo, can’t help ya here.” Wolvie growled, grabbed three containers of juice and stalked on over to a corner of the room to brood. His lip curled when Hawkey had to get the last word in.

“At least I’m not ashamed ta say Sparkler’s my girl!”

***

“I’m gonna kill that Cajun. I don’t care if he’s cute or not, he’s dead meat when he gets back!” Griffin looked at her watch. Remy had been gone for almost thirty minutes. In that time, both Icebaby and baby Beast had fought, argued, made up, and shared a Twinkie; Colossussus and Shadowkitty had played ‘Ring Around the Rosies’ with Captain Amerikid and Cyke, and Misty Q had taken it upon herself to morph into a short version of herself, miming her every move. Gumbo still hadn’t let go of her. At least he had moved from holding onto her leg to gripping her arm as she sat on the Danger Room floor.

“Miss Griffie? Why you gon’ kill Misu Gambit? Don’ you like him?” Gumbo asked, his eyes looking up at her affectionately. Griffin sighed and ruffled the little boy’s hair.

“No, it’s not that. He just left me alone with you guys for a very long time. That and he still hasn’t given me any inspiration for the fic I’m working on. He keeps talking about some other author named Kim…” Griffin trailed off. Gumbo let go of her arm and fished in his little trenchcoat for his playing cards.

“You wanna play wit Gumbo, neh?” he asked.

“Sure kid. What game?” Gumbo’s eyes lit up.

“Gumbo like ‘Go Fish’. Dat’s his favorite game!” Griffin looked at her watch again. She was going to give the Cajun ten more minutes. Ten more before she would kill him for not being there.

***

“So’s I was there at the Hecki-Carrier an’…” Meatball was cut off from his explanation by his older counterpart.

“The what?”

“The Hecki-Carrier. We can’t say the bad word.” Yez rolled her eyes.

“It’s Heli-Carrier Meatball, not Hecki.” Meatball looked up at her.

“Ya know what Miss Yezra? I like a dame that ain’t afraid t’ cuss,” he said, scooting closer to her. Nick’s eye narrowed at the kid and he threw an arm over Yez’s shoulders.

“Get yerself another dame Son, this one’s taken.” Tink seemed to say the same thing with her eyes, grabbing Meatball’s arm and hauling him towards her side of the couch. From the recliner, Jeannie sniffed, looking around at the mess the boys had made of the décor.

“Eww! That pudding doesn’t match the rug! No! Don’t do that!” She was standing up on the furniture, yelling at Snaggletooth and Magneato, who had managed to knock over Jean’s collection of potted ferns, sending dirt scattering all over the eggshell colored carpet. And where there was dirt, there was always a little boy that wanted to play in it. That’s where Snaggletooth came in. He was already rolling around in the mess, further imbedding the dirt stains into the carpet. CreepyCrawler was running around, playing tag with Shower and Skirmish. Nick looked at the little blonde girl that was shrieking around. He still couldn’t believe that was the miniature version of Carol Danvers. Skirmish was the one with the pudding cup, and she had spilt the contents of the little plastic container on the rug “accidentally”. Not that Yez was going to yell at her for doing something like that.

This was okay. Controlled chaos was always okay, especially when it got to tear up anything that belonged to the Red Menace. Nick looked at his little copy and watched as he went to join Magneato and Snaggletooth get dirty. He groaned when Meatball pulled out another squirt gun, this one filled with grape flavored Kool-Aid. He grimaced when he shot Snaggletooth, whose hair got all sticky. The little Creed roared, lunging for the tiny SHIELD agent, who kept on firing at him. Nick got up and picked up the feral by the scruff of the neck and hauled him to the bathroom. Yez watched as he closed the door, then grimaced when she heard the splashing, cursing, howling, and more cursing come from the other side of the door. Minutes later, a damp Fury and a sopping wet Creed Jr. came out, the tiny Vic sniffling and going to the middle of the room. Yez knew what was going to happen next and moved away, grabbing Tink with her. Just as predicted,

Snaggletooth stood completely still, then shook himself, sending water flying all over the place. Most of it was directed at the recliner, and the haughty Jeannie screamed, then started crying as she got drenched. Once somewhat dry, Snaggletooth stalked over to where Meatball was standing, his squirt gun aimed again.

“Oh no ya don’t. Give it here.” Meatball looked up at the bigger Colonel in disbelief.

“What?”

“Ya heard me. Give me them guns. I don’t wanna have ta do that again.” Nick frowned, and stuck out his hand. Knowing that he was cornered, Meatball sighed, handing the gun over.

“An’ the one in yer jacket.” With a heavy heart, that too was handed over. “Gimme the one ya got in yer back holster too. An’ while yer at it, the one ya got strapped to yer leg. Both a’ them.”

“Aww, man! Do I haveta? That one’s only water!” The look Nick gave him made him sigh heavily and hand the requested water pistols over. Taking them all, Nick placed them in the kitchen on the highest shelf. Tink seemed to sense that her friend was upset, so she silently slipped her hand into his and rested her head against his arm. Meatball let go of her hand and threw his arm around her shoulders instead.

“Don’t worry none Tink. I still gots my watch. I gots lots a’ neat stuff in my watch…”

***

“Alright Remy LeBeau. Your ten minutes are up and the heathens are getting restless.” She had already played countless games of ‘Go Fish’ with the tiny Cajun. Somehow he was cheating, she just knew it. She was almost going to suggest playing another game when Remy waltzed in.

“It’s about time you showed up! What took you so long?” She was going to yell at him some more, but he hushed her by putting a finger against her lips and handing her several warm pizza boxes.

“De traffic was terrible. Remy would have been here sooner, but Vinnie, de pizza owner, he wan’ flap de gums.” He tried to look sheepish, but just couldn’t quite pull it off. The kids smelled the food and came running to her legs. Thankfully he had thought to bring napkins, and soon the little ones were chowing down on the best pizza money could buy.

Of course lil’ Beast got sauce all in his fur, Icebaby’s portion was too hot for him to handle, so he froze his slice, Amerikid was eating politely, chewing and swallowing like a good boy, and not cramming down food. Cyke tried to follow his example, seeing how the other kids admired the lil’ Avenger. For once, there was peace and quiet. Remy went out again, and up to the control center of the place. He punched a few buttons, and suddenly the Danger Room was filled with slides, swings, see-saws, and other playground equipment. Remy came back to find that everyone was playing happily.

“Now why didn’t we think of this earlier?” Griffin asked. Remy shrugged, grinning from ear to ear. His little copy was hanging off the monkey bars, showing off his acrobatic prowess. He hoped that with the combination of food and play that they would all get tired enough to take a nap. A long nap.

***

Copycat had gotten fed up with Wolvie ignoring her. She grabbed a juice container and marched off to where Wolvie was slowly sipping his own. Not looking at him, she plopped down beside him, taking the wrapper off her straw and trying to stick it in the little foil covered opening. The straw just flopped all over the place, not going where she wanted it to. Wolvie looked at her from the corner of his eye, then again as he saw her struggling with her drink. Grabbing it from her, he popped out one tiny claw and punctured the foil, taking the straw from her hand and putting it in for her. Without a word he handed it back.

“Thank you Wolvie.” He merely grunted, going back to brooding and sipping. “Wolvie?”

“What?”

“If ya don’t wanna be my boyfriend, it’ll be okay. Ya don’t like me that much, huh?” Wolvie looked at her straight in the eye.

“No! That ain’t it! I like ya Copy! Yer a neato friend, even if ya are a girl.” Copycat’s lip started to quiver.

“Then why don’t ya wanna be my boyfriend? Am I ugly?” Wolvie squirmed in his seat, knowing that there wasn’t going to be an easy answer for that. While he paused, she continued.

“I know I ain’t Jeannie. Ya like her, I don’t know why, she’s a brat. An’ I ain’t Sparkler. She’s known ya longer than I have.”

“No, ya ain’t Jeannie. I’m glad yer not.”

“It’s the cooties, isn’t it? You boys think all girls gots cooties.”

“Cooties don’t bother me. I ain’t scared a’ them, just like Mister Wolvie ain’t scared a’ them.” They both looked over to where Mister Wolvie and Miss Ice were still sitting on top of the desk, Miss Ice’s head resting on Mister Wolvie’s shoulder. Copycat’s big blue eyes clouded up.

“Will we be like that someday?” she quietly asked. Wolvie looked at her again.

“Yeah, I guess. I like ya Copy, I really do, okay darlin’?” leaning over, he gave her cheek a little peck and then reached out to hold her hand. She smiled wide, scooting over closer to him.

“Okay, but Wolvie?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t call me darlin’.” They were quiet again, silently sipping their juice and content to be in the other’s company.

“Aww, will you look at that?” Ice said, pointing with her eyes at the cute pair. Sparkler stood up on the desk behind the adults, leaning on their shoulders. Logan chuckled, seeing how Copycat and Wolvie acted just like he and Kate did when Ice wrote her fics. Ice sighed as Logan ran his hand over her back, threading his fingers through her hair. Her long, thick hair that fell all the way down to her butt. Sparkler was standing the closest to her, and was smacking on something that Logan could only guess was blueberry bubblegum.

“Watch this,” Witchie told her brother. Holding out her hands, she quickly made a little hex pattern, a light purple sphere floating up and hitting Sparkler on the back. This happened just as Sparkler was blowing up a rather large bubble with her gum, and it popped. Due to Witchie changing probability, the bubble didn’t pop on Sparkler’s face. It popped instead all over Ice’s hair. All over it. Sparkler was known for making quite the large gum bubble, and that one had been her largest ever made. Ice reached back when she felt something sticky attach to her dark brown strands. Her hand pulled back, bright blue gum sticking to her fingers. Trevor looked up in shock from the desk where he had gotten Hawkey and Sugah to behave by letting them draw on some blank pieces of paper. Logan slowly craned his head to his right, not wanting to see what he already knew was waiting for his eyes. Sparkler’s eyes were as wide as Ice’s, and she hopped down from the desk, running over to where Wolvie and Copycat were. Copycat put her hands up to her little mouth, one hand tugging on her own long pigtail. Ice still hadn’t said anything, just kept on opening and closing her mouth like a gaping fish.

Five minutes later, Logan bent over the sink where Ice had her hair stuck under some iced water. They had tried peanut butter, ice, water, peanut butter and ice, shampoo, everything. Still the big blue glob wouldn’t come out.

“Well, it’s not that bad darlin’,” Logan said, trying to calm her down. “At least it’s not up higher.” Ice reached for the scissors and handed them to him.

“Just get it over with,” she whispered, closing her eyes as Logan grabbed all the sticky hair in his hand and positioned the scissors as close as he could. Her eyes squeezed shut as he snipped off the long mass, holding the decapitated ponytail in his hand.

“Nah, not that bad at all. I ever tell ya how much I love women with short hair?” Ice looked in the mirror, then silent tears started to fall from her eyes. Where her hair once fell well past her back, it now only reached to the top of her shoulders, if not that much. The rest was cut all uneven. It looked like Logan had taken a weedwacker to her head.

“Well, it ain’t a salon cut, but at least I got all the gum out, right? Ice, honey?” Ice got up to his face and poked a finger at his chest.

“You. Owe. Me. Big. Time. Bub.” With that, she spun on her heel and went back to the room where the little terrors were at. She was going to make sure that nobody had any type of gum on them for the rest of the day. Logan sighed, going after her. Not like I don’t already owe ya big…

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