What Happened When They Babysat the X-Babies
Chapter 8
They don’t even know what they got themselves into…

Logan’s head snapped around as he finally stood up. The mansion alarms were going off, and he could hear somebody running around in the corridors. Sheathing his claws, he managed to make his way to a hiding spot where he could attack the intruder. His head was reeling, and he knew instantly that they had been drugged. Oh hell, we’ve been gassed…Ice! She’s gotta be okay! His thoughts quieted as the intruder came within reach. With a feral shout, he tackled them.

“Logan! Get off of him now!” Griffin screamed, looking on in shock. Logan rolled away into a crouch, waiting until his eyes adjusted to the bright light as Griffin stood in the entrance of the rec room, her hand on the light switch. Remy was in the same type of battle crouch, a card already charged up and his bo staff in his hand. He had thought that Logan had been the odd ten fingered purple kidnapper, and he had been ready to attack without mercy. Looking about the room again, Logan noticed something was wrong.

“Oh hell, the kids! Where did they run off to?” Amerikid sniffled from his spot behind Griffin, one hand holding the hem of her shirt, the other rubbing his eyes.

“This mean, scary person took them, Mister Wolvie!” Logan didn’t wait for him to continue, he rushed on over to where Ice was slumped over, her head resting on Trevor’s knees. Logan checked her breathing, letting out a breath as he found everything was alright. He did the same to Trevor, nodding when he noticed everything was stable with him as well. He nearly tripped over Copycat, the little girl was curled up into a ball near the sofa where she and Wolvie had been the last ones to drift off out of pure stubbornness. She was cuddled up to the little sleep mask that Wolvie always wore to bed that looked just like the hood from his uniform. Logan picked her up and saw that she tried to wake up.

“Mister Wolvie?” Copycat asked groggily.

“Yeah. You okay kid?”

“I don’t feel so good.” Logan smoothed a hand over her hair, sitting down on a chair and bringing her to sit in his lap.

“It’s okay lil’ Darlin’. Now, if yer anything like Kate, then ya can mimic me an’ feel better. Do it, okay?” Copycat reached out and held onto his hand, whispering something that sounded like ‘copy’, her eyes shifting colors until they were brown instead of blue. Pretty soon she was back to normal, and she hopped down, joining Amerikid. Her eyes were wide as she realized that Wolvie wasn’t in the same room as her.

“Wolvie? Wolvie!” She was getting frantic, but Amerikid reached out and hugged her. The two clung to the other, looking terrified. They were pint sized superheroes, but they were still little kids. Hearing a groan to his left, Logan got up and knelt beside the sofa, holding Ice’s hand as she came to. This time she didn’t shoot daggers at him with a glare, her eyes were busy being scrunched up as she rubbed the back of her head with her free hand. Beside her, Trevor came to as well.

“Mes amis, we got a problem,” Remy said, putting a hand out to help the man to his feet. Just then, everyone heard the screaming and ranting that could only come from Jean’s lips.

Yez and Nick an into the room, herding their little charges in.

“Mister Wolvie, make her shut up! She’s worse than fatty Jeannie!” Meatball yelled, pressing his hands to his ears.

“You shut up you little cretin! My new blouse! You squirted Kool-Aid all on my new silk blouse! Do you have any idea how much it cost?!” Tink winced, she being the closest to the screaming woman. She opened her mouth and let out a wail of her own. Meatball’s eye narrowed.

“Ya gone an’ hurt Tink’s ears! I’ll get ya fer that!” Neither Nick nor Yez could stop the little boy in time and he charged at Jean, swinging at her legs. She screamed as she tried to pull him off her, he had just sunk his teeth into her ankle. Tink, recovering from her pain, joined him. Copycat, seeing the bigger version of Jeannie, a girl that didn’t like her one bit and who she didn’t like either, joined the attack, her eyes switching over to an icy blue as she iced the ground Jean was standing, making her fall on her butt. Amerikid looked on in shock, then pulled Tink off of Jean’s chest where she had climbed while the woman was down, preparing to stomp on her perfect face.

“For goodness sakes! Look at all of you! Act like the grownups! They’re not fighting!”

For a while, the three babies looked down at their feet, but then saw the adults and started snickering. Ice was standing up holding her head, shaking a finger at Logan while telling him exactly the reason why she was ticked at him. Trevor was yelling at Scott to go and help his wife, Yez and Nick were yelling at Trevor for liking the Red Menace, Scott was yelling at both Yez and Nick for trashing his house, and then yelling at Trevor for telling him what to do with his wife. Jean got up and yelled at all of them for not helping her out, and kept on ranting about the mess done to her house. Logan was yelling back at Ice about how it wasn’t his fault her hair looked as bad as it did, she was the one that forced him to cut it, not the other way around. Griffin and Remy were yelling at all of them to shut up and listen to them, they had to go and get the babies before something bad happened to them. Nobody was listening or looking as the kiddos ran off, holding hands so they wouldn’t get lost.

***

Miranda held up her little box, grinning triumphantly at it. She turned when Melvin and Martin showed up.

“Did you get all the little cretins?” she asked. Martin smiled.

“Yes, every last one of them. You know, it was good to catch them all like that, especially after what they did to our ratings in Mojo.” The Three M’s, as they liked to call themselves, had a very successful sitcom going on. Then Mojo had to clone those pesky X-Brats.

Their show soon got cancelled and they were reduced to bitter out of work actors who could only get few and far between jobs as the second tree upstage left in musical performances, or the dreaded lumped up cast called the chorus. Melvin took his box and hit the side of it. They paused when they heard a muffled curse.

“I thought you said you gassed them. They shouldn’t be awake.” Martin looked worried. He tapped his ten fingers along his own box.

“That’s that infernal Wolvie doing all that. He must have woken up early.” The rain was still pouring down, and the ground was slippery. Another reason the three of them couldn’t get any work was because they were clumsy. Miranda wound up slipping on the muddy ground, bumping into Martin, who in turn tripped Melvin. They were all arguing about who tripped who in the mud and they never even saw the little flashes of light as their boxes opened upon impact with the hard dirt. That is, until the X-Babies started raising hell.

***

Amerikid had asked them to make a pit stop back in the Danger Room to get his striped shield. With Copycat’s help, they were able to pick the lock easy and go in. Copy also opened up the back kitchen door, and they all ran outside into the rain.

“Oooh, it’s scary out here in the dark,” Copy said in a small voice, clutching Meatball’s hand. Tink had a hold of his other, and she nodded her agreement, her eyes huge.

“Okay everybody, let’s take inventory. We have one shield, one healer, one copycat, and one of us that doesn’t got any guns. There are three big grown up mutants with our friends.” Tink looked at him, her expression saying that the odds of them saving the day were pretty slim to none. Amerikid sighed. Meatball rolled his eye, thinking he was going to have to do a motivational thingie pretty soon. Letting go of both girls’ hands, he started picking up rocks.

“Aright ya meat puppets! Our friends got taken. They got no weapons, no way out, and no hope ‘sides us. We gonna chicken out an’ wait until the grownups stop arguin’, or are we gonna go out there blazin’, kickin’ some serious grownup bleep?” His speech seemed to work because Tink grinned at him huge, then picked up some rocks of her own, stuffing them in the pockets of her boxers she was wearing. Copycat’s eyes turned brown as she bent her head and started sniffing for their trail, and Amerikid shouldered his shield. They all marched out, following Copy’s nose.

“You know, that was a really good speech. Mind if I use it sometime?” Amerikid asked. Meatball shrugged.

***

Cyke blinked. Why wasn’t he back in the mansion with all the other kids, just about ready to go to bed? Why was he in the rain? Looking around, he noticed his other fellow X-Babies were looking around with the same dazed look. The lil’ Avengers were huddled together, as were the members of the Brotherhood of Bullies. Then they all looked at the quarreling trio.

“They kidnapped us!” Mistie Q said, indignant.

“Let’s pay ‘em back!” This was shouted from Wolvie and Hawkey at the same time. Cyke spoke up.

“I goths a plan!” Everyone groaned, thinking he was going to say ‘Run’ like he always did.

“ATTACK!” They all stared at him in wonder, then did as they were told. All the groups stuck together. Magneato led his Bullies, Cyke led the charge with the X-Babies, his little optic blasts firing. In the absence of Captain Amerikid, Skirmish took charge, her war cries echoing in the night. The three adults looked at them, then ran for cover.

“Who let them out?!” Melvin screamed.

“I didn’t!”

“I didn’t either!”

“Well, we gotta get them back into their boxes before we lose them all!” Melvin held up his box, then ran after the kids.

BAMF!

“Looking for us, Herr Ugly?” Creepy asked, hanging from a tree branch by his tail.

“Come here you!”

“I don’t think so!” BAMF! Melvin soon fell to his rear when he slipped on a patch of ice. Icebaby started laughing at him, and at his side sat lil’ Beast.

“Augh! Behave why don’t you!” Martin yelled, trying to keep Snaggletooth, Wolvie, Hawkey, and Sparkler at bay. Wolvie snorted.

“We don’t behave fer Miss Ice an’ Miss Yezra, what makes ya think we’ll behave fer you, ya stoopid *bleep* *bleep* *bleep*?”

“Gumbo, ya got a good spot?” Sugah asked, flying high and holding Gumbo aloft by the arms of his jammies.

“Oui!” The sticks he had picked up glowed purple and exploded as he dropped them around Miranda, who was already dodging Witchie’s hex spheres and Sparkler’s paffs.

She screamed, then ran, only to be picked up in the air by Jeannie’s telekinesis. She got within range of the little girl and lashed out, kicking her into a nearby tree trunk. Jeannie’s eyes went dark, then she got angry. A strange orange glow started circling her, then she lifted up in the air.

“You dare attack me? Do you know who I am? I am Feenix!” The outburst drained her energy, and she slumped to the ground unconscious, a regular Jeannie again. Cyke knelt beside her and an uncharacteristic snarl curled his lips.

“You hurt Jeannie!” he yelled, letting loose his strongest beam at Miranda. She was knocked into next week by the blast.

Skirmish and Wolvie were teamed up now, using their fists on Martin’s legs. Shower’s eyes clouded to white as she summoned lightening bolts and directed them at him. Melvin had gotten up, but lil’ Quicksilver was racing circles around his legs, and he couldn’t move. By this time, the four other kids had found them. Thy didn’t waste any time and joined in the fray.

“Lil’ Avengers, assemble!” Amerikid shouted, throwing his shield at Martin. All the Avengers went after him with gusto. Tink stood back with Copy as Meatball took off his eye patch. He put a rock in it and swung it around, using it like a little slingshot. Copy saw Wolvie get pushed down, and she got a murderous glint in her eye.

“That’s my boyfriend you hurt!” she screamed, running as fast as her little legs could carry her towards Melvin, her eyes shifting colors as she hit him with little orange blasts that came from her hands.

“Hey, come and get me!” Shadowkitty yelled, running from Miranda. Miranda followed close behind, and almost caught her, when Shadowkitty phased into the black box. Miranda couldn’t phase. She got sucked in, the lid to the box closing with a snap.

“Hah! I’ve got you now kids!” Martin yelled, holding out his box. There was a purple flash of light, followed by a white one. When it cleared, the box sat on the ground, Martin nowhere to be found. Witchie looked smug, her hex causing Martin to suck himself into the box instead. All that was left was Melvin, and he was getting his butt kicked by the kids. Colossussus grabbed one leg, Sugah grabbed the other, and the superpowered kids dragged him towards his own box. Shower aimed one more lightening bolt to his rear, which caused him to jump himself into the box. Threat neutralized, the kids looked at the other and cheered.

***

“Look, you were the one that wanted me to cut yer hair, I told ya, let’s just try the peanut butter one more time! Don’t be getting all pissed at me!”

“I can’t believe you two trashed my home! All my lovely things! Ruined!”

“Will you all just SHUT THE HELL UP!” Griffin screamed at the top of her lungs. That caused all the arguing adults to quiet for a while, then they looked at her.

“Huh. Guess it works for me after all. Guys, we have a serious problem on our hands. The kids are still missing, whoever took them is still out there! These lil’ ones want to find their friends, isn’t that right, Amerikid?” She looked down, then noticed the absent kiddos.

Ice groaned, noticing Copycat was gone as well.

“Son! Where did ya go?”

“Tink! Come on kid, answer me!” They were about to start a mad search when they heard it. The sound of children’s laughter coming outside. Running out, they found them all playing in the rain, holding up three black boxes.

“There you are!” Ice shouted, looking down when Copycat and Sparkler ran to her, flinging their arms around her knees.

“Mommy!” Yez rolled her eyes as Meatball hugged her leg.

“Kid, how many times have I told you, I’m not yer mommy.”

“But I saw ya kissin’ my dad with yer tongue an’ all, that’s gotta make ya my mommy!” Jeannie ran towards her older counterpart.

“Miss Jean! They were the ones that made your house all goopy! I tried to stop them, but they wouldn’t listen!” Jean gathered her muddy pint sized version in her arms.

“That’s all right Jeannie. I know you did. Let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?”

“With real soap with vitamin E and aloe?”

“Yes, and shampoo that has herbs in it.” The other adults herded the kids inside, where they proceeded to bathe them. It was harder than it sounded like.

“Fuzzy butt, fuzzy butt! Wolvie gots a fuzzy butt!”

“No I don’t! I’m all hairy an’ Manly!” Ice closed her eyes. This scene looked way too familiar for her likes. He had done the same thing the last time she had babysat them. Running behind him with a towel, she tried to catch the naked and wet little feral before he did any more damage.

Several hours later, all the X-Babies, Lil’ Avengers, and Bullies were sleeping peacefully in their little holo-beds in the Danger Room. Three pairs of exhausted authors and muses, along with Trevor were leaning against the wall. It looked like Gumbo and Sugah made up, they were sleeping in beds close by, Sugah’s gloved hand being held by Gumbo across the gap their beds made. Tink refused to leave Meatball’s side, so the two of them were cuddled up together, Tink’s head right under Meatball’s chin. Snaggletooth was sucking on his thumb. Copycat had shoved her bed close to Wolvie’s, and they were sprawled out on both of them. Wolvie on his back, his head tilted to the side and snoring lightly, Copycat on her side facing Wolvie, arms and legs all splayed out. Then they settled together, Wolvie stealing the majority of the covers.

“Don’ dey look like lil’ angels, neh?” Remy asked. Yez snorted.

“Yeah…only when they’re asleep.” Griffin yawned, covering her mouth with a hand, then looked at the other authors.

“Well, Jean and Scott are home, and I think I just heard a car pull up in the drive. When do we get to go home?” she asked. Ice looked at Yez, who looked at her muse, who looked at Logan. They all nodded. Ice grabbed a hold of Trevor’s hand, then…

-poof-

-poof-

-poof-

back | next | story index