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DEMON SPAWN
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Title: Demon Spawn
Author: Girly Girl
Summary: Um… Tim has homework, Kon has an imagination.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never were, and probably never will be.
Rating: There’s like one swear word.
Demon Spawn
**Somewhere in a bedroom, we find a young man **
Tim, sat at his desk, staring at the computer, fingers posed atop the keyboard frozen. Nothing. Nada. Not one idea popped into his head.
“Ah, fuck it!” he yelled as he slammed his head down atop the wooded desk that the keyboard rested upon, thus causing a stream of “mgmjht876 vcckfdx tfjnm b”, to show across his word document. “Why me?” he asked the omnipotent being also known as Oracle, also known as through normal people as Barbara or Babs through the magic of the computer.
He had an English paper due and he had nothing. “Sure,’ he said, his head still resting upon the keyboard, “’This will be an easy project, you’ll be done it in no time.’ Maybe for some people yeah. Me? No way in hell.” He lifted his head up, “Which is kinda funny, I can solve murder cases and yet, nothing.” He stared at the blinking cursor on the computer screen.
“Ah, is poor Timmy stuck on a simple English paper? Hang on, I’ll alert the Justice League, they should be informed on this life threatening event that is Robin’s homework.”
“Babs.”
“Yes Timmy?”
“I hate you. And it’s ‘Tim’.” He leaned back in the computer chair and covered his face with his hands, “What to do, what to do?” he mumbled under his breath.
Then it hit him, not literally of course, why would someone hit Tim on purpose?
He quickly went to save his document to disk so he could take it with him when he realized that he had no work to save, so he just skipped that whole step.
“I know! I’ll ask the guys for some help since you won’t help me.” He told Babs again thought the magic of the computer.
“Yeah”, her voice coming out of the speakers, “I’m sure Kon knows a whole lot about Shakespeare’s, King Lear and Hamlet. He’ll be a great help in comparing the two plays. Honestly Tim I thought you had more brains then that.”
“Hey!” Tim jumped up and glared at the speakers because that’s where her voice was coming from, “Are you implying that I’m the idiot” he said pointing at himself, “or that Kon’s the idiot!” he said pointing at…well, at the air because Tim really didn’t know where or what direction Kon was at at this very moment.
“I’m only implying what you want me to imply.”
Tim shook his head, “Good-bye Babs.” He said as he went to shut down his computer.
Babs, though got one more sentence in, “Have fun with Kon.” And with that no more magical voice thought the computer.
Tim again shook his head but with an added eye roll as a bonus, “Women.” He mumbled.
He gathered his books, all one notebook, grabbed the Shakespeare plays, both of them, went to grab the disk, realized he didn’t have to because there was nothing to go on the disk, grabbed his car keys, you know which set, and he was off. Where you might ask, well, it’s kind of obvious, to the Young Justice Headquarters. Where is that located? I don’t have a clue, but I’m pretty sure Tim does ‘cause that’s where he’s headed.
**Insert mental image of Tim driving in his car to Young Justice Headquarters**
Tim, arriving at Young Justice Headquarters (location still unknown because the author is to lazy to look it up) and went directly to the kitchen.
He entered the kitchen to find the fridge open and a female’s, how do I write this without profanit…itizing it …well I give up, a female’s butt showing from behind the fridge door.
Her head popped up at the sound of someone entering the kitchen. “Hey, Tim, what’s up?” The female, now revealed to be Cassie, asked. She closed the fridge door with a drink in hand.
Tim dumped his books onto the table, “An English paper that Oracle won’t help me with, so I decided to come here and ask you guys for some help.”
“U-huh. Good luck on that one. I got lanterns to buy. Later!” and with that, she was out the door and gone.
Tilting his head, he asked no one in particular, “Lanterns?” He shook his head again and went about organizing his books, when a whirl of Bart entered the kitchen.
“HiyaRobhowsitgothat’sgreatu-huhhavefungottagobye!”
Tim just had to laugh; Bart is Bart.
“Well there’s a sound you don’t hear everyday.” The famed Kon-El had decided to grace Tim with his presence…okay, actually he was just hungry. “So, what’s the great Timothy up to today?” He asked as he looked thought the cupboards in search of what he wanted to eat.
Tim got out of the chair he was sitting in and went to stand at the counter, “An English paper. I thought maybe you could help me.”
“An English paper, eh?” Kon said, his head now inside a cupboard searching thought objects some people would call food. “Don’t know what kinda help you think I could give but, sure I’ll give it a shot. Ah! Here it is!” Kon reemerged from his cupboard adventure holding a tin of oysters.
Tim, who was now sitting on the counter, gave a look of disgust at the oysters. “Honestly?” he asked.
Kon, puzzled at Tim’s face, glanced down at the oysters. “Ew! Creepy! Who the hell buys the food around here?!” he asked throwing the oysters back into the cupboard then slamming the door and holding it shut.
“Okay, I’m no expert on oysters, but I’m pretty sure ones that are dead and sealed in a tin are not going to come out and kill you.” Tim offered.
“Hey!” Kon said standing up and pointing at Tim, “You have your beliefs and I have mine.”
Tim laughed again for the second time that day. “What the hell were you looking for anyway?”
“Well whatever it was it’s staying in there ‘cause I ain’t getting it with those oysters guarding it.” Was Kon’s answer.
“O-kay, I can respect that.” He said, jumping down from the counter. “You wanna help me or not?”
“Sure, what am I helping you with?” Kon asked following Tim back to the kitchen table where he sat beside him while still eyeing the cupboard.
“Okay, well, its on Shakespeare’s King Lear and Hamlet and I have to compare and contrast what actions and inactions Lear and Hamlet both made that eventually lead to their deaths and…” Tim glanced over at Kon to see him glaring at the cupboard still. “KON~!”
Kon jumped like a meter into the air, “What?” he asked from his position on the floor, which is where he landed when he leaped into the air.
“Oh for crying out loud, the oysters are not going to kill you!”
“How do you know that!? They’re probably in there plotting my death along with yours ‘cause you don’t think they can.” Kon told him.
Tim just looked at him, totally lost for words, “…they’re oysters!”
“They’re evil I tell ya! No good can come of them! I will not work with a group that harbors the demon spawn known as oysters in the cupboard contaminating all the good food surrounding them! The poor, good food.” Kon said holding his hands near his heart and pouting his lips.
“Kon, get a grip. They’re dead.”
Kon flew over to Tim and covered his mouth with his hand. He looked around him and then whispered into Tim’s ear, “That’s what they want you to think, but I know better. And now you do too. But beware, now that you know they’re secret, you too are at risk of being their next victim.” He paused then yelled, “But we won’t let that happen!! You hear me!! I’ll not let you kill my best bud Timmy here!!! I’m on to you!!!”
“Kon!” Tim yelled, “It’s ‘Tim’ and look,” he said breaking out of his grasp, “They’re oysters, they’re dead, in a tin, soaking in their own juices. I’ll prove it.” Tim went over to open the cupboard that contained the evil demon spawn known as oysters.
“No! Tim don’t! They’ll get you!! They’ll kill you!! I can’t watch!!” and with that ran out of the kitchen.
Tim just stood in the middle of the kitchen, and then he clued in.
***We now travel out of the Kitchen into another room***
…you should have seen it! I was going on about how evil oysters were, and- ”
“Ahem.”
Kon, Bart, and Cassie, turned to see Tim leaning against the doorframe.
“You know guys,” he said, “If you didn’t want to help me with my homework you could have just said so.”
“And miss my opportunity to show off how good of an actor I am. Yeah right.” Kon replied back to Tim.
Tim rolled his eyes and re-entered the kitchen determined to finish his English paper that he had yet to start.
**We have now ended this story, please exit through the door nearest you, thank you, and we hope you enjoyed your trip**
Author’s notes
I have nothing against oysters. Honestly, if people like to eat them, good for them.
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