Part 1

Dusk falls over the Gung Ho Bungalow, it's inhabitants bustling around in the usual madness. Monev is hopping around the living room while Chapel barks at him not to block the television. E.G. is sneaking around behind Hoppard convinced that he is a spy for "Them". Grey is wearing Dominique's new summer dress on his head while hitting a pan against the refrigerator. Rai Dei simply sits with his head in his hands trembling with pent up rage. Leonof and Dominique are playing candy land in the corner while Caine purposely keeps knocking the game cards all over the floor. Midvalley and Knives on the other hand...are havin' a cold one

<Midvalley> ::chugs the rest of the can and looks around at the mayhem which he knows as life:: .......I'm gettin' out of here...

<Rai Dei> ::looks up eagerly:: Where are you going?!

<Midvalley> I..

<Rai Dei> Great! Can I come!

<Midvalley> Uh.....

<Rai Dei> Thanks!! ::runs out of the room::

<Midvalley> ::blinks. Then stands up and walks out he twirls around the keys to his trusty Nova and starts her up:: Ahh... just a quiet night to myself....sorry Rai Dei but I need some alone SANE time.

He drives around for at least twenty minutes until his hunger gets the best of him and he stops at a nice little diner. He walks in only to find it empty. A strange sound meets his ears.

<Midvalley> ::furrows his brow and looks around:: Hello? ::walks deeper into the diner and sees a figure hunched over something on the floor. The noise is coming from this person..:: Uh...hello?

<Figure> ::whips his head around to look at Midvalley a red oozy liquid dribbling down his face:: Urgghh...

<Midvalley> O.O ::walks back a few steps:: Oh god! Oh god no!! That's not what I think it is, .............is it!?

<Figure> ::blink blink::

<Midvalley> UGH! IT IS!! NOT SPICY JOSE'S TABASCO SAUCE!! ::he turns to run out of the diner only to see men and women in sombreros pressed against the glass:: What's going on in this town!!

<Figure> ::stands up a Tabasco soaked burrito clenched in his hand..the heap on the floor is an entire gym bag filled with the Tabasco bottles:: Ugh.....eat!

<Midvalley> ::runs toward an open door but a cop jumps in the way::

<Cop> GET DOWN!

<Midvalley> ::ducks as the Cop shoots the Tabasco figure:: What are you doing!?

<Cop> Its not safe here get to the Police station!! The Greasers and Tabascoers are over running this town!!

<Midvalley> uh... where is the police station?

<Cop> Oh..:lowers the gun and points casually as some of the sombrero wearers start to hit him with crowbars:: you just go down that alley...go through the gunshop,the basket ball court, up the stairs and around then down again, climb over the dumpster, go down that alley, then go past the pickup truck into the bus, walk through that, then get out of dat damn bus that must have gone over 50 mph, the entrance to the police station is just beyond that.. oh yeah and watch out for some things Capcom put in your way.

<Midvalley> Oh okay thanks.

<cop> ::his eye pops out:: No problem.

<Midvalley> ::follows the precise directions and finally finds himself outside the police station. He opens the front door and steps into a huge main hall with a statue of a woman with a water jug right down a small set of stairs:: ............damn...maybe i should've become a police man....shit I mean I bet the bathrooms are huge... ::he tries to open a door to his left but only to realize its locked:: ..just my luck.....::the glow of a computer screen on the other side of the room catches his eye. He hops down the stairs and walks over to it. ::

<Computer Screen> ::little windows with images in them are hovering around the screen::

<Midvalley> ::leans in to see what are in the windows::

<window one>::a dog chasing his tail::

<Window two> ::a doughnut with pink frosting in a constant rotation::

<Window three> ::a message that says "This space for Rent"::

<Window four> ::playing an old episode of "Welcome Back Kotter"

<Midvalley> ::straightens up:: O..kay. ::looks at a door across from him to see it slightly ajar:: Guess that's where I'm supposed to go. ::he barges into the room and hears a moan from behind the door he just slammed open. He pulls back the door to reveal a Negro police man slumped on the floor rubbing a bump on his head:: oh geeze! I'm sorry!

<Police man> Yeah, yeah aren't we all...::looks up at Midvalley, blinks then pretends to be fatally wounded:: ...you must be the new guy......sorry..but it looks.. like your party...has.. been canceled...

<Midvalley> New guy? Nah not me I'm just escaping heart burn.

<Police man> Uh.. no wait I've got it.. your looking for your brother Chris right?

<Midvalley> ........Uh listen I don't know why I'm here but I am so uh could you give me a ride back to my car or something?

<Police man> No, no I'll get it I'll get it! ....Its going after S. T. A. R. S. members....and you'll be next..

<Midvalley> ::shakes his head and sighs::: okay I'll find my own way out of here then... ::turns to leave but the Police man grabs his wrist::

<Police man> Wait take this key card you should be able to open the doors in the hall with this ::puts a card in his hand:: Now go.

<Midvalley> All right.

::aims his gun at his head:: JUST GO!!

<Midvalley> I KNOW!! SHEESH I'M GOING!!

<police man> Oh yeah and don't close that..

<Midvalley> ::closes the door::

<Police man> ::mutters: door cuz it locks.........

<Midvalley> ::looks at the card:: Hmm..nice I smell a tour of the building! ::he walks over to a door to his right. He takes the credit card and slides it in the crack popping the lock out of place and opening the door. He walks through the small room that has no purpose at all and looks out a window only to see something scurry past really fast:: O.o? Was that Marlon Brandow? ::shakes his head and opens the door to his left. He jams his hands in his pockets as he walks around the corner but pauses when he hears a dripping noise ahead of him. A puddle of something lays on the floor. he walks toward it. And on closer examination it turns out to be::....... Hair gel? :: a really fake laugh sounds from above him and he stumbles backwards. He looks up to see a shadowy figure clinging to the ceiling an open tube of hair gel in hand:: I know you!!

::drops to the floor and runs a comb through his hair:: Mister Kotter.::fake laugh::

<Midvalley> ...................

<Figure> ::sings:: I've got chi....

<Midvalley> NOOOO!! ::screams and plows past John Travolta covering his ears he yanks open a door at the end of the hall and slams it shut behind him breathing heavily:: I ..hate.. that.. MOVIE! ::Looks at the creepy hall laid in front of him::...hmm this is a creepy hall ::After catching his breath he begins to walks down the twisting hall eyeing the badly boarded windows and such:: Hmm... I wonder what..or who they were trying to keep out...::Just then ten arms burst through the cracks in the boards and grab him:: AGH!! ::High pitched squeals sound from out side the window:: Oh no not he screaming eels!!::one voice distinctly shouts out "Midvalley I love you!!!" He finally escape's their grasp panting heavily:: Oh no........they're FANGIRLS!!::he runs down the hall at break neck speed past a door and dodges more hands grasping for him. He gets to the door on the other side of the hall and whips it open. Panting, he notices a stair case to his left and walks over to it and hops up the steps. At the top he freezes when he sees a dark figure of a man walking around at the end of the hallway. He squints into the darkness to see who the man is. Just then the figure walks into a wall. He relaxes as he sees that the person continually keeps walking into the wall and saying "ugh!". He walks down the hall past the figure when something red and shiny catches his eye:: O.O!! ::There is a statue holding a huge red ruby right next to Midvalley:: $.$ ::he runs over and tries to get the gem but it wont' move. he holds onto it and tries really hard to get it out, the figure all the while 'thump' "ugh!" He then notices an inscription on a plaque on the base of the statue. He reads to himself:: " The god of sun and god of moon. Their gaze upon me is the only thing that can release red soul." ::he blinks and looks at the bronze and grey statues placed on either side of the gem statue.:: Hmm... the only thing that releases the gem is to put those two statues in a position to look at this one? Yeah sure lets see about that! ::kicks the statue and the gem falls out he picks it up and stuffs it into the pocket of his pink shirt.:: Ha HA!! Only thing my lily ass! ::The figure stops moving, Midvalley freezes again.::

<figure> Who's dere?

<Midvalley> ::realizes who the figure is and stops hiding behind the statue::

<figure> ::sways:: Man I can't even find a bathroom in this place I think I'm in a box!

<Midvalley> .......::sees a door then sneaks past Ray Charles and opens the door. This door leads to a bare hall way. Midvalley shrugs and walks in he eyes a sign hanging by a door:: S. T. A. R. S..? What? Must be short for Squid Taper Appliance Room Storage... don't need to go in there. ::he gets to a door at the end of the hall and tries to turn the knob:: Damn its locked?! hey what's that. ::white words appear on the bottom of the screen:: <White words> ::There is a Spade etched under the key hole::

<Midvalley> ........O.o? A Gardner's shed maybe? eh well I was never one for keys anyway..::he raises his foot and breaks the door down:: that was easy! Hmm not much in here...::looks around the small room and heads down a path to his left. He opens the door to the library and steps in:: Damn..... who knew police men spend so much time in their departments.. ah well I guess I would if it was as nice as this one... ah well...::shrugs and walks toward another door in the dusty library. he opens it and looks around the empty balcony of the second floor.:: hmmmm.. ::sees the fire escape in the middle of the balcony:: Aha!! A fire escape ladder!! ................. for escaping fires. ::he dashes off toward the retractable ladder. And listens hard when a horrible rasping sound stirs amongst his footsteps. he stops and gasps!:: ..GASP!

<Stockard Channing> ::sitting by the fire escape watching Midvalley closely::

<Midvalley>::backs into the wall, uncertain if he wants to risk it. He bites his lip nervously. he sees a door past Stockard:: maybe I can make it over there.....::he sets off at break neck speed leaving Stockard hissing in his wake. he whips the door open and finds himself in a small office. He takes a diary off the desk and snitches a pen. he rips out about 10 pages and scribbles on them so you can't see what's been written. he hangs his signs on the door::

<sign 1> "STOCKARD THIS WAY"

<sign 2>" DON'T GO THIS WAY SHE'LL GET YOU!"

<sign 3> "TURN AROUND NOW HORNFREAK!"

<sign 4> " YOU BETTER NOT MESS WITH HER!"

<sign 5> "DO NOT ENTER EVEN WITH A BLOW TORCH!"

<sign 6> " WHY GOD!?"

<sign 7> "CAN I HAVE A PUPPY?"

<sign 8> "EAT YOUR PEAS!"

<sign 9> " DRINK YOUR MIAK!"

<sign 10> "ARE YOU REALLY STILL READING THIS CRAP!?"

<Midvalley> ::dusts his hands off and turns around:: oh wow.. who would've expected it..........another door. ::he opens it and feels the warm sting of fire on his face. he pokes his head out into the hall and sees the flickering of fire to his left. he approaches cautiously. he slowly pokes his head around the corner to see...that a group of bums have made a trash can fire and are warming their hands by it:: -.- ::he turns around and heads toward the door all the way down the hall and to his right..he is just about to open it when he hears a child scream. Without hesitation he bursts through the door. The child's screams continue and a loud "CAW! CAW!" tears through the still air of the hall. He sprints around the corner to save the little girl but, he pauses in an attempt to try and take in the horror of what is going on with his mouth hanging open::

<Olivia Newton John> ::dressed as a huge crow is "attacking" (really just flapping over) a figure in a school uniform sprawled on the floor.:: CAW! CAW! Aren't I a good actress? CAW! CAW!

<Midvalley> ::tries to shake the image out of his head:: DON'T WORRY LITTLE MISS! I'LL SAVE YOU!! ::He quickly looks around:: Damn it! There aren't any rocks to throw! ::he tries to rip a door knob off a near by door:: Crap It's on there good. ::looks back at the "vicious assault". Then a light bulb appears over his head:: AHA!! ::He reaches into his pocket with one hand while the other grabs the hovering light bulb:: Hey Sandy!!

<Olivia> Yes that's me I'm Sandra Dee! I um mean.. caw?

<Midvalley> Try this on for size!!! ::throws a quarter and the light bulb at Olivia::

<Olivia> ::gets hit and dramatically falls out the window backwards::

<Midvalley> ::runs over to the uniformed figure who is now sobbing into the floor:: It's all right miss...

<Legato> ::turns to Midvalley with tears in his eyes and hugs him tightly:: I was so scared!!!

<Midvalley> O.O!!!!!!!!!!! >.<!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::He blinks at Legato who is all decked out in a Japanese school girl uniform and a little pink bow tied in his hair:: .... What the hell are you doing?

<Legato> ::holds him closer:: Oh please don't speak your ruining our beautiful moment...

<Midvalley> Eep!! ::pushes Legato off and back hands him::

<Legato> Agh! ::dramatically clutches his face as he throws himself to the ground::

<Midvalley> ::snarls at him:: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO KILL YOU FOR THIS NOW!! I'M MORE CONCERNED ON GETTING OUT OF HERE ALIVE!!

<legato> ::looks up at him, his eyes filled with tears. He gets up and runs away (like a certain Miss Birkin)::

<Midvalley> .......::shrugs:: Watch out for Channing... ::he looks toward the new door he must go through.....::

~To be continued~