Dear Diary,

I know what you're thinking (or would be thinking if you weren't a book)- I'm only writing a diary because I got the idea off Spoiler. Well, that's stupid, because I would never copy anything that stupid cow would do.

See, I hate her so much I'm calling her names. So there, if you thought that I, Secret, was a wimp who never said anything bad about anyone.

Of course, my diary isn't going to be full of… what's the word… hypocrisy. I'm not deluding myself about Robin. I'm perfectly happy as we are. As friends.

Nothing happened today except Superboy and Impulse went to the mall and came back with every album Madonna ever made.

Dear Diary,

Superboy and Impulse went to the mall again. They bought a feather duster and some parsnips. I'm not sure why.

Robin's in Gotham, but he said he'd be coming back tomorrow. Not that I care, of course.

Dear Diary,

Robin hasn't come back today, even though he said he would. I don't care, though. If he wants to spend more time with Spoiler, that's his problem, and he'll regret it. She's just a stupid bimbo who couldn't be a proper super-hero to save her stupid life.

Wondergirl went with Impulse and Superboy to the mall. They got me some gingerbread, which is nice, even if I don't like it.

I'm feeling a bit left out now. Robin doesn't care about me and Superboy and Impulse and Wondergirl all go places without me and it's not fair!!!

See, I am a proper teenager.

Dear Diary,

Robin still not back.

Empress told me to stop wallowing in self-pity and get out and do something. I am not wallowing! More sort of paddling.

Wondergirl got me some more gingerbread and a Dr. Dre CD.

Dear Diary,

Robin's back! I missed him. But only as a friend, of course.

He said that he had to stay away longer because he went on holiday with his friend and somebody started throwing fire at them and tried to drown them. We were going to ask more questions, but he looked really upset about something (note - Batman - do not mention as a matter of tact).

Wondergirl and Impulse and Superboy went to the mall again and got me an umbrella and got Empress a Jackie Chan video and got Robin a Dinosaur poster. I'm starting to worry that Impulse is doing all the shopping.

Just a second…

Robin's just come in - he asked me to go to the mall with him tomorrow!

That'll be a fun thing to do. As friends.