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Alternate Decisions

by Magik

Mother, Father, forgive me for what I am about to do. I will never see you again, these words will never reach you, but I know that somewhere in your hearts, your souls, you will hear what I am saying to you and you will keep it with you forever.

***

The clash of metal on metal filled the room, a thunderous sound that threatened to shake the castle to its very foundation. The two combatants pulled away from each other for a moment, studying the situation. On one side was the blond teenager, her hair falling into her face, seemingly obscuring her vision but not keeping her from weilding the sword like a professional. Then there was the ruler of Limbo himself, Belasco, the smile fading from his red lips as he realized that the child, his protgee, was surpassing him in every way possible. He had no chance of winning this fight. It was hopeless.

***

It's not like I asked for this. I didn't want to be kidnapped and molded into a demon sorceress. The idea of running a nether world never crossed my mind. I didn't plan for this to happen but it has. I have a responsbility to Limbo, to the deizens of this place, and I am no longer the girl I once was.

If I showed up at your door, Mother, you would turn me away. If I spoke to you in the village, Papa, you would pretend not to hear me. I am not the daughter you knew. I am someone else, no longer Illyana, no longer Piotr's "little snowflake". Now magic runs through my veins, it is me, as this place is me. Without it, I fear I would be empty, incomplete, a pastel package with nothing to offer except the rot of a decaying soul.

***

Belasco fell to his knees on the brick, human eyes starring up at the fierce, demon-child looking down at him, her forked tongue flicking out from her red lips. For an instant, he smiled, allowing the truth of the moment to sink into him. The day had come, he was passing his throne down to his heir, he was free. His creation, his princess, his "daughter" stopped and looked at him, something of the mortal child slipping into her features. It passed quickly, leaving her a shell of anger and revenge. The sword fell.

***

I cannot turn my back on Limbo, on what I have become. There is no going back, not now, not ever. It is my hope that you will learn to go on with your lives, forget me and the pain I have no doubt caused you. If it were up to me, Mother, Father, I would come back, I would leap at the chance to play in the fields again, to sit at the kitchen table with you and read Piotr's letters, hear you talk about Mikhail, the brother I never knew. You have already lost one child. Will my departure make things even worse?

***

The girl turned demon watched as the freshly spilled blood pooled around her hooved feet. Her red eyes flickered around the room, coming to rest on the cowering purple demon in the corner, the one who looked at her with so much fear when there used to be contempt.

***

I never wanted to be normal. The thought of being ordinary bored me, frightened me. I wanted to be a mutant like Piotr, to save the world and have fantastic adventures. Looking back, seeing all that I am, all that I have become, I would go back to being normal, to being Illyana in a second, in half of one.

***

From the ceiling a stepping disk shone and two arms reached out for her, accompanied by the voice of one she had, long ago, called friend. "Illyana," Kitty called in Russian, her voice thick with tears.

The demon girl smiled, humanity dancing around the lips. Her hand, the fingernails sharp, brushed against Kitty's hands, saying goodbye.

***

I have lost everything and gained nothing. At least, that is how it seems right now. Maybe this is just how things were supposed to be. Belasco was a horrible ruler and, while I am inexperienced, I possess a fraction of my human soul, my compassion.

***

Kitty jumped back from the portal, her brown eyes wide, filling rapidly with tears. "I lost her. Peter, I'm so sorry. I lost her." The sobs rose up into her throat, choking off all noise, all words of consolation.

Logan laid his hand on the young Russian's shoulder. "It's okay, Petey. It's okay."

Peter Rasputin touched the floor where the circle of light had been, remembering his sister's smile, the way her hair fell over her face, the light in her eyes. She couldn't be gone. She just couldn't. How would he go on without her? How could he tell his parents?

***

I love you, Mother, Father. I miss you terribly. Sometimes I watch you through my scrying glass but it's just not the same. Take care of Piotr for me. He needs someone to watch over him and I can't do it anymore. I have a kingdom to rule.

End


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