B'Elanna Torres lay curled in a tight ball on biobed one in Sickbay. She was asleep. Trying to escape from the waking nightmare that had become her life and finding out that there was more to be afraid of in her own mind. A small moan came from her lips along with a grunted, "No!"
They were there in her dreams. The black shadows. They crept into her room where she was held and attacked her, violated her. Night after night, day after day, for two weeks. And when Voyager had finally found her the shadows had won. They had broken her spirit, she was ready to be one of their slaves. However, Voyager wasn't ready to let her go.
The Doctor said her physical wounds would heal. He said her body would be alright. He was worried about her mind. The psychological trauma was pretty bad. B'Elanna would visibly flinch if you got within a foot of her. He'd found her huddled in a corner holding a dermal regenerator like a weapon twice. It troubled him. Deeply.
Of the whole crew Tom Paris was one of the more deeply concerned. He had become a good friend of B'Elanna's over the past two years. She had trusted him with secrets and shared with him fears. Now she was worrying him.
The Doctor had called him in to keep an eye on Sickbay for a while so he could spend a little time in the holodeck. As Tom walked through the door the first thing he saw was the dozing body of Lt. Torres.
"She seems fine to me," he muttered to himself as he plopped down in the Doctor's chair. "Yes, she seems just fine." He wasn't sure if he was trying to reassure himself or what. All he knew was that the usually fiery engineer had been reduced to a huddled figure on a biobed. No one had told him just what had happened in that prison. Only a few people on Voyager knew that and they weren't talking. It had to have been worse than just beatings. B'Elanna could have taken beatings. No, what had been done to her must have been horrid. It must have been the worst thing possible.
"No," she murmured again. "No!" The figure of B'Elanna Torres, the person he had always thought was so calm and cool, screamed and bolted up. Her eyes were crazed and wide with fright.
"Easy, B'Elanna. Easy," Tom tried to assure her as he got up.
"Stay right there. I'm warning you," she said but it was an empty threat. Tom could see that in the way her voice shook, in the way her eyes darted around. She was scared out of her wits.
"B'Elanna, easy. It's all right. You're with friends here," he cooed as he came closer to the bed.
"Some friends," she muttered, as a small tear rolled down her pale cheek. "Friends would have left me to die. Friends wouldn't have let them capture me in the first place. You people are not acting like friends."
`You people.' The phrase was like a warning bell in his mind. "B'Elanna, do you know who I am?"
"A so-called friend."
"Yes, but what's my name?" Tom questioned. He was within a foot of her and she had pushed herself to the very edge of the bed.
"I...I don't know. Liar, maybe." Her voice shook.
Tom stepped closer. "It's Tom. Tom Paris. Don't you remember me? You've called me a pig many times over."
"Stay...stay away from me. I'm warning you," B'Elanna threatened. Her brown hair was a mess and her eyes still darted around, checking every corner, waiting, like and animal that knows it's being hunted.
"What's wrong, B'Elanna?"
"Stop saying that."
"Why? I'm calling you by your name. B'Elanna. B'Elanna Torres."
"I don't have a name anymore."
"Why?"
"They don't let you have names."
"Who?" Tom asked. Now he was getting somewhere. Now she was telling him something.
"You'll see. They'll be back. They don't let their prisoners go so easily. They'll come back for me and take everyone else too. You'll see," her voice dropped to a whisper. "Help me, Tom. Help me. If you're a friend, you'll keep them away from me."
"I promise, B'Elanna. I promise," he reassured her as he hugged her. He was surprised she let him. Her body shook with sobs and he stroked her hair. "I promise."
Part II
Tom sat in Sickbay, waiting in the dark for the Doctor to come back. He would have left the lights on but he didn't want to disturb B'Elanna's sleep. Not after he had spent a good two hours holding her while she wept, comforting her, reassuring her, making her feel safe. No, he didn't ever want to see her go through an ordeal like that ever again.
With a small sigh, Tom brushed a hand through his blond hair. Once or twice while she cried, B'Elanna had ideally played with strands of his golden hair. As though it made her feel safer. Like his hair was somehow a link to the world she had lost hold of.
Where is he? Tom thought. It's not like the Doctor to be late. Not like him at all.
There was a soft sound from the area where B'Elanna lay. Tom glanced over to check on her then scolded himself for acting paranoid. This was Sickbay. Nothing could hurt them here.
At another sound, louder than the first, Tom jumped. There's nothing here, he told himself, so stop worrying. B'Elanna's probably just turning over to lay on her other side. Relax, Paris. Relax. Too many horror novels, that's all.
On the biobed, B'Elanna stirred slightly as she moved from one position to another. Her dark brown eyes fluttered open. Fear rushed through her as all she saw was endless darkness.
The shadows, her mind cried out. I'm back there! They're going to find me! I can't hide from them!
Holding her breath, B'Elanna stared out at the blackness all around her. Watching for the slow, solid movement that heralded the shadow's appearance. Something in the corner moved and she screamed.
Tom's train of thought was shattered as B'Elanna's scream broke the silence of Sickbay. For a second he was paralyzed with fright then the hero in him took over. "Computer, lights at full illumination!"
"Acknowledged," the computer answered as the lights snapped painfully on.
He yelped as they came on. The transition from sitting in the dark to full light was like gazing directly at the sun.
"B'Elanna?" he called out, wandering dizzily around as he waited for his sight to clear. When the lights had come on she had abruptly stopped screaming. Now he could hear muffled weeping.
"Liar," she sobbed. "Liar." And the word was like a knife twisting into his heart.
The black dots slowly cleared from his eyes. Tom could see her, huddled on the bed, her face in her hands. He walked over to the biobed. "B'Elanna?"
"Liar," she choked out.
Suddenly, for no good reason, Tom was incredibly angry. How dare she? He would never, could never, lie to her. With a fierce glint in his eye, Tom reached up and pulled her hands from her face. "How did I lie to you?" he spat.
For a moment her dark eyes filled with something he would have described only as a piece of the real B'Elanna but it quickly faded. And whoever was left behind had tearful eyes and shaking hands. "You said I'd be safe here. You promised. You lied. The shadows were here and the light was gone. I was so scared," she sobbed out.
Tom's blue eyes softened as he looked at her trembling form. "I'm sorry. The light won't go away ever again," he assured her as he took her into his arms.
B'Elanna laid her head on his shoulder and cried. The whole time her fingers wrapped themselves around lose strands of his golden hair.
The Doctor materialized into Sickbay. It was late so he was surprised to find the lights on. He was even more surprised to see Tom Paris still sitting in his chair. "Hello, Lt. Paris. I didn't expect to find you here at such a late hour."
"You expected me to leave her alone?" Tom inquired pointing at B'Elanna.
"Why not? There's nothing here that can hurt her."
"What kind of a doctor are you? Are you blind?" Tom hissed.
"What's the problem, Lt?"
"The problem is you!" he snapped, fire burning in his blue eyes.
"Lt. Paris, I see no call for this..."
"Did you know that she's scared of the dark? Or that she hates to be left alone! No, you didn't. You just heal her physical wounds and say, there, my job's done."
"I don't see your point. Lt. Torres is well. I saved her life," the Doctor said calmly.
"Yeah, but you didn't save her soul. You didn't save her!"
"What do you mean?"
"She doesn't remember Voyager. She doesn't remember us. She can't even recall who I am. B'Elanna Torres may be alive but she's a long way from being whole," Tom told him. He stood there for a minute just studying the Doctor then he pushed a hand through his hair and strode out of Sickbay.
The Doctor watched him go, stunned by what he had said. Now how was he going to fix this?
Part Three
They are the Kermions and they are a warful people. They capture enemies right and left but rather than kill them and be done with it, they gave these prisoners of their everlasting wars to the Shadow People.
The Shadow People are a race of beings with no natural earthly form. They are pure thought, mostly evil, and they build themselves bodies out of shadows and darkness.
Long ago the Kermions and the Shadow People waged a war. That was the only war that the Kermions ever lost. The price of failure wasn't all that high. The Shadow People made a pact with the Kermions that all prisoners of war would become theirs. With the only alternative being death, the prideful Kermions agreed. Thus the camps of the Shadow People came into existence. The self-same camps where B'Elanna was a prisoner.
These camps are known for the torture that goes on behind closed doors. It is said that after dark the camps become the worst. You can hear thousands of people crying and screaming in the night as you lay in your cot. Then there are the footsteps of the Shadow People, quiet and soft. You never know they're there until the torture begins and by then it's too late. That's what they say but no one knows what really goes on there because no one has ever survived before. Everything else is just rumors.
Janeway finished reading over Neelix's report and then set the PADD down. She should have reviewed his "dangerous aliens" top-ten list earlier, before one of her crew was captured and almost killed. With a sigh she rubbed her weary eyes and asked the replicator for another cup of Earl Grey tea.
Tom Paris walked into Sickbay to see B'Elanna Torres sitting quietly on the biobed. Her dark brown hair was tucked behind her ears and she fixed her eyes on the stars outside.
"H'lo, B'Elanna," he said as he walked over to her.
The wide, fear filled brown eyes turned to look him over. "You came back," she whispered.
He arched his eyebrows. "You didn't think I'd come back?"
"No. I thought that they took you. Once they take you away, you never come back."
Tom touched her arm and she pulled away. His cerulean blue eyes searched the depths of her brown eyes. "B'Elanna who are "they" and why are you so afraid of them?"
"The "they" she refers to, Lt. Paris, are the Shadow People," the Doctor commented.
Anger still burned in Tom's heart as he heard the Doctor's cool, monotone voice. "I've never heard of that species."
"Most haven't. It appears that the warrior race known as the Kermions give them all their prisoners of war."
"The Kermions are the ones who captured B'Elanna."
"That's correct, Lt."
B'Elanna's gaze was fixed on the stars again. Unseen by Tom and the Doctor, her body trembled and tears spilled down her bronzed skin.
"What did these "Shadow People" did to her, Doc?" Tom asked his voice a little softer. At the sound of a muffled sob, he looked over at B'Elanna's tear covered face. "What did they do to her?"
The Doctor sighed, "I'm afraid I can't tell you."
"You do know, right?"
"That is correct."
"Why can't you tell me?" Tom prodded as he pulled at strands of his golden hair.
"I simply can't. I'm sorry Lt."
Tom grumbled as the Doctor walked back into his office.
"They come in the dark," she whispered and Tom turned to look at B'Elanna.
"Who?"
"The Shadow People," her eyes were starting to fill up with fresh tears. "They come in the night."
"What do they do, B'Elanna? What did they do to you?"
The pair of brown eyes closed and tears rolled down her cheeks. "I don't want to remember, Tom."
"I know but you need to," Tom pleaded as he sat down next to her on the biobed.
"It hurt. I never knew it could hurt that much. It felt like I was dying inside and they...they were just laughing," her voice shook with unshed tears and repressed memories.
"How did they hurt you, B'Elanna?"
"How do you think, Tom? It was a prison camp. I was one of the only females there and my captors were male. What do you think happened?" For just a minute the old B'Elanna was snapping at him then she fell away and fear claimed her heart.
Tom folded the sobbing woman into his arms. "I'm sorry, B'Elanna. I'm so sorry." Inside, his heart was full of hatred and thoughts of revenge.
Part IV
Once B'Elanna had slipped into another one of her restless sleeps, Tom left Sickbay and dropped into Holodeck Two. He called up a battle program and took his anger out on the holographic projections for over an hour. Fury drove him on, lending him the power to keep gaining more opponents, face more deadly situations, all of which he simply blasted through without a thought in his head, just rage and the need for complete and utter revenge.
"Computer, halt program," someone said from the door to the holodeck.
Tom didn't even notice that the program had stopped. He just kept swinging at the frozen Klingon warriors that were keeping him from beating the final difficulty level. Only when Harry's hand touched his shoulder did he stop and turn.
"Harry, did you freeze my program?" Tom inquired.
"You've been in here for about an hour and a half now, Tom," Harry said gently.
"Oh. I must have forgotten the time. Computer, end program." The frozen Klingon warriors and the primitive cave/castle setting that had surround them disappeared leaving only the forms of Tom Paris and Harry Kim standing there.
"Sorry about that," Tom muttered and broke away from his friend.
Harry sighed and ran to catch up with clearly upset friend. Once again, he laid a hand on Tom's shoulder, trying to get him to turn around and talk to him. "What's wrong?" he finally asked.
Tom simply shook Harry's hand off. "Nothing, Harry," he exclaimed as they exited the holodeck and began walking down the hall to the turbolift. I'm not going to let this work, Tom thought. I don't want Harry hanging around me all day. I don't feel like talking about it.
"Something's wrong, Tom," Harry tried again. He struggled to keep up with Tom, using his step for all it was worth but still not covering as much ground as the taller, blond man did.
"Nothing's wrong," his friend stated and kept walking at a very brisk pace. Tom wanted to burn off the energy; he wanted the fire in his gut to just go away so he could spend his time comforting B'Elanna. Nevertheless, the anger lingered on, burning away at him. His fists started to ache and he wanted to punch the Doctor or knock out Chakotay for keeping those things about the Shadow People from him. And when he was finished with them, he wanted to board a shuttle and go kick the Shadow People to hell and back.
Next to him, breaking from a brisk walk to a slow jog, Harry brushed a hand over his black hair and frowned. It wasn't like Tom to act this way, especially with him. "Is this about B'Elanna?" he finally questioned.
Now Tom stopped. He just stopped walking as though something in his mind had burst and his legs would no longer more. Then he turned, very, very slowly, to face Harry. Tom's eyes drilled into the black eyes of the young ensign he had always called friend. "What do you know about that?"
Harry caught the fire buried in the blond man's deep blue eyes and took a step back. "Nothing, Tom. That's why I asked."
"Good because if I find out that anyone has been keeping secrets from me about B'Elanna, then I'm going to kill them," Tom ground out and then took off again.
This time Harry didn't go after him. Instead, he watched his friend sprint off down the hall and put it at the top of his list to find out what was causing Tom's anger.
"Whatever it is," he thought aloud, "it can't be good. But now I at least know that it does involve B'Elanna."
The young ensign stood there for a minute longer, the lost in thought expression on his Asian face. His black eyes were staring off at a wall and one hand raked itself over his black hair repeatedly. Only when his combadge beep did he come back to the world of the living and then, after receiving the "Come to the bridge" message from Captain Janeway did he leave the hallway.
Part V
B'Elanna sat on the edge of the biobed, her feet swinging absently in the air and her eyes following the figure of the bald man who called himself The Doctor. "Tom doesn't like you," she said to the man.
"He's just upset with me right now. He'll get over it," the doctor promised her as he worked on getting a stack of PADs put back in their proper places. "How are you doing today, B'Elanna."
Wrapping her arms around herself, the half-Klingon, half-human woman shrugged. "I don't know. You're the doctor. How am I doing?"
A pair of watery brown eyes looked at her. They were red rimmed and dark bags marred the pale skin under them. Relentless worry and late nights spent going over papers and data showed on his face. He ran a hand through what was left of his brown hair. "Honestly, I'm not sure. Your wounds have healed nicely. You're in perfect physical health. But your mind...It's like something just reached inside your brain and turned you off. Like a computer, you have to reboot. The brain's rebooting system is slow and...I have no way of knowing if you will regain everything you lost."
Her brow furrowed slightly then apathy washed out her concern. "Have you told Tom?"
The Doctor turned back to his station and started frantically punching buttons. "He wouldn't want to hear it, B'Elanna, and I wouldn't want to have to face the look in his eyes if I told him."
"It seems wrong to keep that from him," she muttered, rather weakly, and then stared out the window. After taking a shaky breath, she began to talk. "It was always dark. Have you ever been locked in a room with utter blackness, Doctor?"
"Can't say that I have."
Still ghostly thin from her ordeal, B'Elanna started shaking with the force of remembrance. "Imagine being blind. Imagine seeing nothing but black except it's so dark that you don't even know it's black you're seeing. And the only senses you have that work are sound and touch. That's all you have. And...And you can't break loose because you're chained to a wall and you're so weak that there's no strength left in you. So you just hang there, day in, day out, and you wait until you can hear them." She paused and pressed her fingers against her mouth, muffling the cry before it reached her lips.
The Doctor had turned away from his console and was looking at the huddled figure on the biobed. She looked so lost and small, so fragile in the sea of metal tables and blue medical gowns. Looking at her, bone thin and too pale, he saw what Tom saw, what made the young man so angry and vengeful. Someone had taken B'Elanna and crushed her. They had stolen the light from her eyes and trapped her mind away in a tight shell. They had broken her and reformed her, fit her to match their mold with no regard to who she was. Her soul had been fractured, her humanity ripped to shreds, and her dignity stolen. In the hands of the Shadow People she had only been another slave, someone to crush.
"Go on, B'Elanna," he insisted, gently. "I'm listening."
"They sound like...They're so quiet but you can hear them. It's like listening to the sound of bat wings, so soft, so barely audible but you can hear it. I don't know when they came. It was always dark. You knew when they were there though, even if you didn't hear them, you knew because it was so cold. I don't know what they are. The aren't human. They aren't like anything I've ever known. Just their presence is cold. It chills you to your core until you don't feel anything anymore except for the pain and the cold. Pain and cold. That was all I knew. That's all any of the prisoners knew." She finished talked and sat there for a moment, arms still tightly clenched around her shoulders, wrapped so tightly that it was sure to bruise the delicate skin. But she wasn't crying because they were no more tears left in her.
