Title: "It's Over"

Author: Angel-Wings Gaskins

Rating: PG-13/R for bad Mulder language (potty mouth!)

Cater.: SAR

Keywords: MSR (little bit, probably M/S friendship), MA, SA

Spoilers: Little bit of 'The End', nothing major at all

Summary: Scully left Mulder to accept the Truth.

Archive: I'd be honoured! Anywhere, just send me a link.

Feedback: Pretty please? PulledAScully@aol.com

Disclaimer: They're not mine, I admit that. No infringement intended.

Notes: I haven't written a 3rd person in a while, so I figured what the hey. It turned pretty angsty, and I got my bad language noted by my pissed off little sister... <g>

<Well, this is it, isn't it>, he thought, lifting the near-empty bottle to his lips for another swig. <This is fucking it.>

And it was it. Scully had left him, told him she'd had enough, that he was ruining her life, that his endless pursuit of this 'Truth' was hurting her, and he was too damn blind to see it. Basically, only an hour before he had witnessed the worst fears of his laugh come true right before his eyes.

And it was his own damn fault.

"Fuck it," he said, throwing the empty scotch bottle across the room, ignoring the loud crash of glass shattering. He breifly attempted to stand and try to find another container of liquid to drown himself in, maybe even to drink himself out of his misery, but he fell back onto the couch when his legs proved too measly to stand on.

His mind kept yelling 'You bastard, look what the hell you did to the only damn person you loved, you trusted. You're a fucking idiot, Mulder. You don't deserve her, you never did.'

He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the ealier scene in his partner's apartment, her tears streaking her face as she told him she needed a break from the work, from him. He had protested, and then it had all gone to hell. He asked why, she told him he had literally screwed up her life with Samantha being his number one priority, and the fact that they had already found the truth about her abduction just made it worse. He refused to believe. He didn't even want to anymore.

Three years had passed since the LAPD had found Samantha--dead in a barren field. She had been kidnapped, raped, and brought cross country only to be killed and buried in the woods. His whole life had been wasted.

But still, Scully had followed him. The men of the Consortium had been exposed, the lies brought to light. But still, he trecked on, and he beckoned for Scully to follow after him, like a little eager puppy following dutifully after its owner.

But she was never his in the first place. She would never be his. He never wanted to have her as a possession, but as an equal. Trouble was, it seemed she didn't want to be his.

"Mulder." His head shook. <No, Scully. Go away>, he silently pleaded with her, his eyes gradually rising to meet hers. In his drunken state, he hadn't even heard her enter the apartment. How long had she been there? Had she seen him crying?

"You've been drinking," she said matter-of-factly, neither mad nor relieved, just understanding. She sighed and reached to help him up but he slapped her hand away.

"Don't, Scully. Just don't touch me." He face grew solemn, but she nodded acceptance. He didn't try to rise, just stared at a spot across the room. Scully watched him silently as his lower lip started to tremble and a single tear rolled down his cheek. A matching tear fell from her own.

"Mulder," she said softly, and he brought his gaze to hers, the pain she had caused turning his eyes a deep green with the weight of his emotions.

"Why, Scully? Why didn't you ever tell me this before?" She looked at her feet, but still felt his peircing eyes on her. He shook his head angrily and stood, causing her to step back. "Forget it, Scully. I don't care. Go live your life without me. See if I give a shit." He pushed her out of his way, heading in the general viscinity of the bathroom.

"I'm sorry, Mulder," she said quietly.

He swung around quickly, reaching her body in a few short steps. He towered over her small figure, but she didn't look up, just stared at his chest. "You're sorry, Scully? Why?" he said harshly, instantly regretting the words, but he couldn't take them back, and she couldn't take back her earlier ones. "You're not the only one who was hurt here, Scully! My sister was fucking killed by a madman, and I spend my whole Goddamned life chasing after little grey man in this 'endless pursuit of the Truth'. How the fuck do you think I feel?! And you never even ONCE told me I was hurting you, never even *once*! You just spring it on me today, like I was supposed to know all Goddamned along!"

He stopped to breath, closing his eyes only to realize he'd been crying while he screamed. He heard her sobbing softly and wrapped his arms around her back, pulling her stiff body to his chest, like she had done when their office had been burned so many years ago.

"Scully, I'm so sorry if I hurt you. I'm such a bastard." She just cried against him, unresponsive to his ministrations of stroking her hair. "Scully?" he said, pulling her away to see if she was alright. Her eyes appeared unfocused, redrimmed and dark with blurred mascara. "Scully?" he tried again.

"Tell me, Mulder," she said, still staring at his chest and the wet spot her tears had created.

"Tell you what?"

She lifted her head and looked straight through him, her gaze steady and her crying stilling for the moment. "Tell me she's dead, Mulder. Tell me that this is over."

She was asking him to admit the pain, to let it all in and accept the fact that his sister was gone forever, that there would be no finding Samantha Mulder. It was over. "She's gone, Scully. My sister is dead and gone, and I'm sorry it took me three years to admit that, but I have."

Slowly, she wrapped her arms around his waist, bringing her hands together at his back. "You haven't ruined my life, Mulder, and I'm sorry I told you that. You've made my life what it is, you've made me whole. Without you I'm nothing, and I'm sorry if I ever let you think otherwise."

Mulder closed his eyes, letting her words sink in. She was back in his arms, telling him this was what she wanted, that she made him a whole person. His sister was gone, now, the Truth found, and Scully still standing by his side, following him into the deep end, but not as his side-kick, not as his eager puppy, more as his partner.