Okay, this fic contains spoilers for those who haven't read X-Men 97. Now, this story is the result of message board theories about Scott having a plan. All characters are property of Marvel Comics and used without their permission. Sascha Morgan gave me the idea for the fic title.

PART ONE: NOT DEAD YET

Well, here I am. Who or what I am now is a good question. I'm here and yet not here. I remember a face, female with green eyes and red hair. She look so beautiful. I remember faces; young, old, middle-aged, scarred, and unscarred. They are so familiar.

Why can't I grasp it?

An X appeared in my mind, it glowed with red on black. The X is important to me.

The woman in my mind, I can now see her entire body. Wrapped in green and gold with a gold bird on her chest.

A name appeared with the woman, she's called 'Phoenix'. No, it's Jean. Jean Grey-Summers. Her voice came with the name. It rang out like a thousand bells, "SCOTT!!!"

Is that my name? It felt familiar.

Another face, he looked older and has a resemblance to her and I. My

father? No, my father isn't on this world.

But he is close to me.

Must remember.

Another face, older than I am or was, with pointy hair and a yellow uniform. He is close to me, but not as close as Jean or the other man.

The other man's name is... Nathan? Yes, his name is Nathan Summers.

And the shorter man's name is... Logan? I don't think he has a last name.

It's getting clearer. I am Scott Summers. The sacrifice I made to save the boy. He is similar to Cable and yet completely different. His name... is Nate too. He’s close to me.

Must remember.

We fought against a huge man with blue lips. He captured us and kept us in spheres. He wanted us for our combined power.

He wanted to become a god.

He wanted Nate to be his new host body, but I couldn't let him. I... leapt out and shoved him out of the way. I have a plan that I told no one, not even Jean. I even laughed as the plan was working.

Now, I remember. It’s so clear.

Apocalypse. That's his name. He robbed me of my body and my power, but not my soul. Unlike him, I have experience in the celestral matters from Jean's experiences as Phoenix. He doesn't know about me.

No one knows. The Professor couldn't even sense me even as I hover as a phantom so close to him.

I gained power in the merge too. I gained knowledge from Apocalypse as he did me. He may gained a physical form but I retained a spiritual form. I can't show myself yet. The powers I now have are completely different from my old ones. Until, I can control these powers, I'll be a phantom.

I went down and tried to solidfy. I can't. I feel so close to Jean and yet so far. Tears went down her face as I tried to put my transparent hand over her shoulder. I want to feel her and instead felt a bright spark within her. Is it the power of the Phoenix?

I saw the X-Men and the others, still alive and breathing. Thank God.

Bishop had gone to that alternate future of his and Monolith is gone. But the others are alive. I don't even mind that Magneto isn't hurt.

I know they will defeat him. Besides, they still have me as an ally. No one will be able to see me or hear me yet. But these new powers can help them.

I swear, Jean. I will stay with you. Nathan, Nate, I see your expressions of guilt. It's not your fault. Just don't cry for me, Jean, you know me. I wouldn't go head first without at least having some plan.

I can see different images in my head. Alex is alive too. He's in an

alternate world, maybe I can go there. Maybe, I can bring him back.

No. He's doing fine. I can tell.

I still have my duty and a wife that needs me. I can't leave them.

Besides, I still have to try to get my body back.

Next time we see Apocalypse, I will be there. And that time, I won't die so easily.

Maybe, I'll come back to my former life if I can. After all, I'm not dead yet.

PART TWO: DEAD MAN’S NEW YEAR

Can you hear me?

I'm sorry if it looks like I left you. I know that you missed me. If I can just touch those cheeks, I could wipe away the tears.

This is New Year's Eve. In a few minutes, the beginning of the third

millenium will start and I will spend it with you. Even if you don't know it.

Why must everyone be so solemn? I can hear the silent prayers sent to me, under the cheers and hope. Maybe, I can return from where I am.

Jean, do you remember when we spent twelve years in the future with Nathan? You looked so different, but you still looked so beautiful. I still wonder how he recognized us. Remind me to ask him when I come back.

Can you hear my voice? Can you feel my hand trying to wipe away those

tears? Can you see my own tears?

Look around you, Jean. So many people feel almost as much pain as you do. They grieve for me. I won't be forgotten.

Live for me. Just enjoy the party for me. Excuse me, I have to go to

Nathan.

Hello, son.

We never had a good moment together without us saving the world. Thank you for destroying him for me. I was going to repossess that body, but it was destroyed. I know that you could sense me in there and you still did it.

Don't feel so guilty. You finally completed your mission. You can still have a purpose in this lifetime. You still have a long life ahead of you. You can still fight for the dream for me, after all, I'm unavailable right now.

I know you wanted to be the one to die instead of me. I know that you

expected me to be the mourner and not the mournee. I could see your invisible tears, don't cry for me. I love you, you know that. If it weren't for the fact that I can't touch you, I would hug you right now.

That's it. Go to Jean. She is your mother despite the fact that she was trapped in the bottom of the ocean when you were born.

Professor, why are you so stubborn in hiding your sorrow? I still love you, sir. I know that I had been acting more independently lately. I wanted to live a life away from you. X-Men die and sometimes they come back.

Just be greatful that everyone else is still alive and well. Logan's not dead and Warren isn't Death. Yes, just lift your wine glass.

Well, I hope that I can find a way to get Alex here or at least get him to be able to contact you. He’s flesh and blood and could be a great help for the team. I don’t know how I knew, but I do.

It's getting closer to midnight. Okay, everyone get out your noisemakes. No firing lasers indoors unless you can control it. Yes, I know you can't hear my orders, but old habits die hard.

Soon, the ball will drop and this millenium will end.

I'm here. Jean, you're smiling. Can you feel my hand going through your cheek? Trying to wipe the tears that are now drying up?

Do you want to know my New Year's resolution?

It's to kiss you some time next year.

Yes, you look so beautiful when you smile like that. Have I ever told you that? I always loved the way you smile like that. I know that the pain won’t go away, but you shouldn’t be so miserable for me. You know that I wouldn’t like to see you so sad.

Ten. Let me get close to you.

Nine. I want to hold you.

Eight. I can feel your soul.

Seven. No! Let me touch her.

Six. That’s it just stand there.

Five. That’s it smile.

Four. You look so radiant.

Three. I’m trying to hold you.

Two. Let me try to kiss you.

One.

Happy New Year! I love you.

Can you feel my kiss? I’m sorry you couldn’t.

At least you’re smiling, that much is always good to see.

Fin. For now.