Disclaimer: Characters belong to Marvel. Story belongs to me. The time spent writing this belongs to my squandered youth. Title is from Offspring song of same or similar name. And for my fellow Gambitphiles, keep this in mind-> He’s DRUNK. Warning: Innuendo. For real this time.

****************************************************************************

I don't know why I bother anymore. I know she doesn't what to talk to me right now, but I call anyway. No big deal, just ole Remy bang his head against yet another brick wall. That's my Roguie, all barriers and no doors. I've tried climbing over, digging under, boring through--to no avail. Still, I call her with my last quarter on what might be my last night on earth.

That's not just me being overly dramatic. I really think this is it. I can barely breathe without charging something. I'm down to wearing shoes with rubber soles, ferchrissake. I let the phone ring and hope the cold Salem Center air will clear my head before she picks up the line.

We broke up. Again. For the last time. Again. It was my turn. Again. But I'm determined to stick it out this time. I'm not just gonna run back to her because I know she's there. I don't have to have a beautiful woman hanging off of me at every waking moment. I can do alone quite nicely. I can go back to taking my relationships on the weekly, daily, or nightly basis that worked so well for so long.

I shiver and wait. I'm dead drunk on a Tuesday night. Either I'm becoming an alcoholic or not having Scott or the Professor around to lecture is going to my head.

Assuming I’ve dialed the right number, she’s not answering her phone. I don’t leave a voice mail message. Rogue’s had her eye on Petey the Rustless Wonder since they got back from space. That’s fine by me. If he’s what’s got her occupied, more power to them.

I thought I had her figured out. I thought I knew want she needed. When I got back to the future, I thought we would finally be able to work it out. Touch was finally possible due to the changes in my powers. And didn’t we use the opportunity? /to the fullest. Between her eagerness and my hormones, it was like Belle and me back in twelfth grade. I think it’s fair to say that between my skill and the excitement of those random charges, I blew her mind on a regular basis.

I’m bragging, its a statement of fact. Okay, I am bragging, but when you’re good, you’re good. And I’m good. I have many testimonials to that fact. But I wasn’t good enough apparently.

I’m cold. I should go back inside. Have a few more drinks. But I’m broke. I could get some one to buy me drinks, but that takes effort. I’m just not up to it.

We would lie in bed together and it was like we were still alone. I spooned for her, I cuddled, I whispered sweet nothings, the whole nine. She still kept one layer of her armor between us. It made me kind of bitter over time. I gave my all to that kiss in Israel and she got past every barrier I ever built.

No matter how many times we made love, no matter where or when we did it, she was only 95% there. It’s like she couldn’t stop worrying about her powers or our relationship or what ever it is that was distracting her. She wouldn’t talk about it or acknowledge what was missing. I got tired of it.

I got tired of her, in a way too. Whatever it was she wanted, it was clear she wasn’t getting it and she wouldn’t even tell me what was wrong. And it wasn’t even the old "If you really loved me you would know" garbage. It was this ignorant silence, as if she didn’t know herself.

She said something once, something I ignored because it didn’t make sense to me. She said she wanted to feel me inside of her. Like I said, I’m pretty sure I was delivering in that area. My response was to give her a demonstration behind the rec-room couch. I don’t know why I remember that now. It’s probably something Johnny Walker whispered in my ear. Something he probably heard from Jack.

That’s okay. I dial the number again. Collect this time. I don't need a ride or anything like that. One Ms. Karen Degroat is quite willing to let me stay at her place tonight. I wave at her to keep her in her car. She shouldn’t be out in this arctic air.

It’s not like I’m harassing her. Rogue, I mean. I just want her to know that I know that she’s got issues. And I’m glad I don’t have to deal with them any more.

Besides, I wanna hear her voice.