FAIRIES GET HIGH FROM PIXI DUST Tinkerbell denies alligations of abusing her pixi dust but witnesses say otherwise. In a crude scene Friday night, May 30th, twenty-six fairies were taken into custody for abusing their pixi dust privileges. Of those taken into custody was a fairy we like to call Tinkerbell. Hours later, after the effects of the dust wore off, Tinkerbell was able to speak with us. "I wasn't abusing my pixi dust! I just accidentally fell into a large pile and inhaled too much." Witnesses at the scene, however, say this is not true. One fairy claims that Tinkerbell is the main Pixi Dealer. "Ya, thats her," the Tooth fairy says as she points to Tinkerbell in a line-up. "Last week she sold me flour as pixi dust. I was mad, she ripped me off. I know she had the good stuff with her. I wasted 100 teeth for a lousy pound of flour. If I hadn't been so high, I might have noticed, but I still think she should pay." The cops say that the fairy was high when she said this, but is most likely telling the truth. Tinkerbell's parents where shocked by the news that their daughter was a potential Pixi Dealer. "We always taught our little Tink to be respectful of her pixi dust. I can't believe she would do this," says Tinkerbell's mother. Tinkerbell's father later reported that he is planning on disowning his daughter if she doesn't get help immediately. A recovering addict had this to say: "I started off completely innocent. When I was flying around with my fellow fairies, and their pixi dust was falling on me from their feet, it would land on my face and I would breathe it in. It felt good. Then, I started trying to fly closer to their feet to make sure I didn't waste an ounce. Soon, I was roaming the streets of the bad side of NeverNeverLand to get my Pixi fix. Before long, I was out of control. Thats when I decided to quit with the pixi abusing."
-Mandy Schrein Want to comment on this article? Go to the feedback forum |
