MAN SUES PILLOWTEX
Saying that "The pillows feathers attacked his face," John Faber managed to win over the jury and win his case against Pillowtex, a powerful pillow making company.
CARTERIA-After three hours of deliberation, the jury ruled in favor of the plaintiff and ordered that Pillowtex pay $500,000 and put a new label on its feather pillows saying "Caution: Feathers may leak from fabric." John Faber, the plaintiff, was still not pleased with the outcome of the case.
"I want more money. Thats not enough. I had all the err..emotional damage and stuff," Faber said after the trial was over, "It's a good thing that I have some more lawsuits to file."
Pillowtex said it plans on appealing as soon as possible.
"The jury must have had one idiot it on it who sided with Faber and wouldn't change his mind so the others probably just followed along to go home." said the lawyer for Pillowtex, "It's a sad day when you lose a case against a man named Faber."
The trial was in fact, ridiculous. John Faber gave an outstanding, theatrical performance on the stand about his tale of throwing his longtime old pillow, which he now calls his "old friend", and buying the new Pillowtex Feather Pillow. His first night with the new pillow he told the court room that "the feathers from the pillow escaped from their fortress and attacked my face without warning."
Later, Faber's attorney Bill Wallstrick showed the jury photos of Faber's scarred face (which consisted of two very large and blown up pictures of a small red mark on his face). The scars have since mysteriously gone missing. Faber, of course, had an explanation. He told the jury that Pillowtex doctors must have snuck in his house at night and repaired his face.
Faber's last statement to the court: "Give justice to my "Old Friend" and put Pillowtex down."
The Mandy Times suggests that nextime, Faber put a pillowcase on his pillow or just steer clear from all feather pillows.
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