TITLE: FOOT OF CONTENTION
AUTHORS: Mick'n'Star
RATING: PG 13
PAIRING: Logan/Remy - we *are* boring, ain't we?
WARNING 2: deranged sense of humour at work
DISCLAIMER: we have a nagging doubt Marvel would wish to disclaim having anything to do with our fics, but they can't! Mbwahahahahahah!!!! *evil deranged laugh* Logs and Rems are all theirs! Mbwahahahahahah!!!! *eviller and derangeder laugh*
NOTE: it's the heat, really. Fired our brain. It's 120F here and we're slowly cooking. Please turn when one side is done. DO NOT ARCHIVE ELSEWHERE
"Gumbo!"
"Mmmm?"
"Take that foot away."
"Mmmmm??"
"Would it inconvenience your exalted person too much to remove your foot from my face?"
*PLOP* "It's clean."
"I didn't say it was dirty, just in my face."
"Bien. I will not disturb you further."
*JUMP! - pad pad pad *
"What the fuck are you doing now?"
"Can't you see?"
* BOUND - stomp stomp stomp *
* GRAB! *
"Let me go."
"No."
"Let me go I said. And it's useless to wave your thing at my knees. It's all over."
"AT YOUR KNEES?!!"
* smirk * "You are so short..."
"DO YOU REALLY WANNA DIE?"
"Do you really want to be exploded?"
"Grrrr! Come back to bed."
"No."
"I just said take your foot off!"
"Feet are erotic."
"Fine, you can admire mine. Come back to bed."
"No. Go wank somewhere."
* SLAP! *
"Fine, then. Don't go wank anywhere."
"Fuck, must you always be so contrary?"
"You slapped me."
"And...?"
"Nothing. Wanna slap some more?"
"No, I want you to come back to bed."
"I'll put my foot exactly were it was."
"And take the consequences?"
"Maybe."
* Stomp stomp stomp - pad pad pad *
* CREAK *
"Remember to oil the bed."
"It's your bed, not mine. My bed doesn't creak."
* SIGH! * "Come on!"
* SLURP - foot *
"AAAAAAUUUUGH! You bit me!"
* CHOMP *
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!" - pant pant pant - "Are you crazy? Are you out of your fucking head?!"
"You bit me."
"On the foot, you blasted Cajun!"
"I have delicate feet, moi."
"I have a delicate cock, you bastard!"
"Neh, not so very delicate. Mmm. Tasty, though."
"Go away."
"Oh? First I have to stay, now I have to go? What about what I want, heh?"
"I couldn't care shit about what you want, Gumbo. You do as you're told or..."
* snick *
"Snick? Are you going to eviscerate me for a tiny bite?"
"Maybe."
"Ah, bah, I spit on your claws, Wolvie-pooh."
"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!!!"
* innocent eyes * "I can't remember, what did I call you?"
"You're not getting me to repeat it, and don't say it EVER AGAIN!"
"No, Wolvie-pooh."
* TUSSLE - WRESTLE - THUMP - OOOF - SPLAT! *
* HUMP PUSH HUMP HUMP PUSH PUSH HUMP SLAM SLAM SLAM! *
"Aaaaaaaaah!" * SATED SIGH *
"Happy now, Gumbo?"
"No. And you can kiss my foot."
* foot *
THE END?
