THE STORY
		BY: Steven Woodman Jr.


		 PROLOGUE:

In the beginning there were the teeming masses of the 
ungrateful. They wandered in the land of darkness and 
sun-dresses, but they lacked a Power to guide them. Wanting 
a deity to attribute all their successes to, and to
blame for all their mistakes, they nominated the all 
powerful and all knowing "DAN" by default. (he was the 
only one not being worshipped by somebody else at
the time.) Coming into the land after a brief hiatus to 
the "other" land (the one that borders the land on the 
right hand side... next to the gas station,)
Dooly found these misguided louts worshipping DAN and was 
offended. 
   "Why should HE have all the power?!" Said Dooly to 
himself, "Am I not just as good, just as deserving of the 
power?! ** and isn't my hair bigger than his?! **"
   Dooly thought and thought, and then decided his course 
of action. "I shall stage a coup, a war against the power 
of DAN, I shall defeat him and become the new God, and the 
land will be mine to control! All will bow down and
worship me! ** and all the pizza places will continue to 
deliver long after midnight! **"
   Dooly grabbed his trusty Machine Pistol, his threadbare 
trenchcoat, and headed off towards the castle of DAN with 
an army at his back. 
   The battle raged across the land for days and days, but 
the forces of DAN were many, and powerful. Finally Dooly 
worked his way forward and into the castle where he 
confronted the God DAN. 
   "So, you want to be God do you?" asked DAN.
   "I would do it better than you." Replied Dooly.
   "No, You're wrong." Said DAN, and with that Dooly 
raised his gun to the God, But he was out of ammo. ** but 
not really! he had left the first chamber empty so as to 
lull the god into a false sense of security, and as DAN 
laughed at his seeming incompetence, Dooly pulled the 
trigger. A vast hail of lead poured from the weapons 
muzzle directly towards the laughing DAN, tearing into his 
body, and hurling him from the throne. His motionless form 
struck the floor with a dull, wet, noise, and Dooly raised 
his hand in triumph before realizing that he was 
daydreaming again. **
   "See." Said DAN, and cast Dooly the adversary out of 
the land into the adjacent land where he was doomed to 
dwell for all eternity among the mortals that worshipped 
DAN.
   "I will win in the long run," Thought Dooly, "just give 
it time, when the world comes to an end I'll be there... 
waiting for a rematch."


                    

  		 CHAPTER 1:



The question of rank arises once more, stirring feelings 
of bitterness deep within Dooly's bosom. He looks around 
his domain in the world just beyond Dan-the-god's, (the 
one to the left, just after the gas station,) intaking the 
sight of his ragged legions. They are loyal to him, yes, 
but could this pitiful army truly avail him against the 
forces of DAN. 
   "Hear me my Doomons!" he called to the terrible hordes, 
"Rest ye' well, And feast thee on flesh and bone, for 
tomorrow WE RIDE!"
   A cacophonous cheer arose from the crowds below, The 
fiercer creatures roaring their delight at the prospective 
battle.
   Yes, They were not much, but they were many, and they 
would see their master in the place which was his due.
   It was time to re-enter the "other" world. Time for the 
fallen to return... and to TRIUMPH!
   "Prepare ye' , apprentice creator, I come anon, and my sword will 
quench it's thirst within your breast!"








		 CHAPTER 2:


Dooly sat back in his throne with a sigh of deep anguish. 
   "What am I about," He asked himself quietly, "To face a 
god who has already defeated me, and cast me out, with 
less of an army than I had started with? I must needs have 
help. But, who is there to assist me?"
    As if in answer to his self-directed prayer, a 
servant, one of the minor Doomons, came hobbling into the 
the hall-where-I-keep-my-throne, (for so had Dooly titled 
his sanctum,) and approached the Doomon god. Kneeling, the 
servant waited until he was addressed by his master.
    "Well," Dooly addressed, "What do you want, Hunter 
rose/ nabiki/ grendel?"
    "Your worship," Answered the Doomon, In a somewhat 
sarcastic tone, while it proceeded to claw at the throne, 
"A stranger has approached the walls, and requests your 
audience."
    "Well, as long as it isn't DAN, or one of his 
sanctimonious Dangels... you might as well admit him."
    And with that request, the little monster departed.
    Within moments a stranger clad in a black cloak, 
wearing spectacles on his face, and a cardigan on his 
breast, entered the hall-where-I-keep-my-throne, and in a 
voice that sounded loud throughout the hall, addressed the 
seated figure.
    "Dooly, I am a sage and an electrician, and have felt 
the vibrations of a great war yet-to-come ring through the 
middle world wherein I make my home. I know that you will 
march against the forces of DAN, entering into the upper 
world from which you have been evicted to fight and claim 
what you perceive to be your rightful place. I have seen 
these signs written in the winds, read these tales within 
the open pages of the sky, and my magic’s have told me that 
you cannot do this alone. Therefore is why I have come. I 
hearken to your banner, and together we shall..."
    "Oh. Hi, Chris." Answered Dooly, looking up from his 
computer and noticing (for the first time) the sage's 
presence.
    "Uh... Hello, *AHEM* Well... Uh, I guess I'm here to 
help. Yeah?"
    "But Sage! I march against the hosts of DAN, and this 
promises to be a bloody battle indeed! How can you, who 
are so soon to be wed, risk your life in such a crusade 
with no thought or care to your betrothed?!"
    "Ah, but it is my betrothed who has forced me to 
come!" answered the sage, bowing his head with shame, "for 
if I were to remain in the realm of the middle world, she 
would surely see me dressed in the most horrific of 
leathers!"
    "Well," Answered the Doomon king thoughtfully, "I can 
understand your plight, and you have seen mine, mayhaps we 
can assist one another. HO! I welcome you to my army O' 
sage, and can only hope that others will know my cause, 
and hearken to me in your wake!" 


   	        	CHAPTER  3:



Meanwhile, in the world above:
   A lone figure, clad in dark cloth adorned with leather 
and chain, emerged from the borders of the middle world. 
Stumbling awkwardly, but bearing her suffering with grace, 
she worked her way into the realm of DAN.
   For she it was, and she alone, who had braved the 
portals between many worlds to learn what she now knew, 
and to bare that news onward to DAN!
   The Baroness knew her mission would succeed, knew that 
she could gain the castles throne room, and convince DAN 
of her equality now that she knew something that he did 
not. But, the valuable information which she carried 
within her had not come without a price. Her body was 
scored with the marks of a hundred Doomons, and she bled 
through her jerkin, as she forced herself to keep marching 
forward, ever forward, unrelenting in her determination. 
Even moreso now that her goal lay so close to hand. 
   Within the walls of AMHERST, (for so was called the 
dwelling of the god,) DAN sat upon a throne of purest 
plastic and shining vinyl, contemplating the days E-mail.
   "Will it never cease?" He asked of no one in 
particular, although it brought the gaze of the Dangels 
which guarded his haven upon him, "These rogues continue 
to worship although I myself have shunned them! Their 
faith is great indeed, and I am well deserving of it. They 
have passed the test of loyalty, and truly they shall 
find themselves rewarded when I come down to dwell among 
them!"
   A great calamity arose from the gate just then, rousing 
DAN from his speculations, and standing up from his 
computer desk, he made his way to the east window.
   "HO THERE!" He called out in a mighty and commanding 
voice, and instantly all was silence, "What are you 
Dangels about down there?!"
   "Your pardon, sire," cowered the gate guards, "But a 
women comes to the castle from the portals of the middle 
worlds, she demands entrance and we have not the will, 
nor the ability to stay her!"
   What was this? Thought the god, a woman of great power 
come from the lands beyond his own? How, and why? He must 
know!
   "Let her come!" He called out to the guards, "If you 
cannot stay her, simply let her in, and guide her into my 
audience!"
   "As you command most holy one!" And as it was said, so 
it was done.
   
   "Ah, I see." Said DAN, almost as soon as the woman 
entered his dwelling, "It is you, Baroness, I should have 
guessed. What do you here among your betters?"
   "HA!" The Baroness snorted derisively, "I see only my 
equals here, if even you are THAT much! For I bring news 
that only I could have gained so soon, and that you would 
never have suspected ere' long a sword had pierced your 
left nostril!"
   "What?!" Shouted the god, taken momentarily aback by 
the visitors curtness, and the message she alluded to, 
"What speak you?"
   "I tell of the plans of the Doomon king, for he is 
about another crusade!"
   "Dooly?! But, I cast him out into the lower world..."
   "And it is from there that he leads his assault without 
your knowledge!" Interrupted the Baroness,  then smiled, 
her lip lifting only slightly in a display that both 
aroused and cowed the spellbound god, "I have come with 
warning... as well as with an offer."
   "Wh-wh-what offer is this?" Stammered DAN, his voice 
cracking on the last syllable.
   "Oh shut-up you pig!" Shouted the baroness, "It's 
nothing like that! I have come to offer my assistance! I 
will join you in defending yourself from the forces that 
even now rally against you! I will fight beside you... on 
one condition."
   "Pray ye'," asked the god, humbled now, "tell what 
condition, and I will accept it gladly if only to enlist 
your aid."
   "You will call me an equal." She stated flatly, a noble 
air surrounding her like a fine mist, "You will 
acknowledge me as having the same rank in all things, 
regardless of what world I have come from. Can you do 
that, 'mighty' DAN?"
   "I can," answered the god, (because this is fiction,) 
"And what is more... I shall!"
   And it was thus that the warrior and the god formed an 
uneasy alliance against the forces from the underworld!



		CHAPTER 4:


** Dooly looked around at his pitiful army and thought to 
himself, "Ah. Who am I kidding, this will never work." And 
instead turned all of his attentions towards beating the 
sage Chris at mariokart.
     While in the world above: DAN found himself evicted 
from AMHERST! 
     "I have been forced to depart my own castle, I shall 
return to the land of GRAFTON, where I will dwell among 
the normal folk for the rest of my days... cest la voi, 
what strange times we live in. BELL BOY, MY LUGGAGE!" And 
with that, took his leave of the upper world. **

     "Dooly, wake up."  Came a voice which penetrated 
through the gloom of the Doomon lord's slumber, "You're 
holding me."
     "Wha?" He mumbled, rolling over, and blinking the 
sleep from his eyes. "What's going on, who is that?"
      "I am the one they call the Bleak Widower, I am come 
to your hall from the portals to worlds beyond. I have 
been summoned by the sage Chris-the-electrician in order 
to assist you in your plight."
      "Well, that's just Ginchy *AHEM* I mean... Your aid 
is most timely O' dark one, But forsooth, why hast though 
awakened me?"
    "Your dreams did guide you through realms no mortal 
was meant to see..."
    "MORTAL! How dare you! I am next in line to be GOD!" 
Dooly threw himself upright, springing from his bed, and 
turning to face the voice all in one fluid motion,
 "Who are YOU to tell me that I, BUH..."
    The Doomon king froze in the midst of his wrath, and 
stopped to stare at the being who had so easily penetrated 
into his inner sanctum: the Place-where-I-keep-my-bed, 
(for so was this hall titled.)
    She was tall, but not to the point of intimidation, 
with short hair as scarlet as the blood of princes. Her 
clothes wisped and fluttered around her, light as cobweb 
in a morning breeze, and seemed to be spun of the finest 
webs of a  thousand spiders. She smiled subtly, and the 
Doomon lord was so impressed with her... Uh, TACT... that 
he was forced to change his stratagem.
     "DUH, Uh-Huh... H-h-h-how do you Dooooooooo! I'm 
the... my name is Dooly, what's YOURS?" He said, as 
suavely as possible for a drooling idiot to manage.
     "I am the Widower." She replied simply, "I am the 
physical embodiment of the shared spirit of all spiders, 
it is through me that they draw their want and will, 
nay... even unto their very desire, for I am them, and as 
a whole... they comprise me!"
     Dooly rolled over,  and blinked the sleep from his 
eyes once more, (having fallen back into that comfortable 
grasp as the spider-spirit had woven her answer, spinning 
the words even as a spider spins it's silken web.)
     "YAWN," He began to orate his feelings about the 
Widower's answer, "Oh, yeah, that's great... Where is 
Chris-the-electrician anyway?"
     "He is in the hall-where-I-keep-my-throne, continuing 
to summon those who might aid you." She answered, as she 
rose from the corner of the Doomon king's bed where she 
had been sitting. The strands of her clothes seemed to 
cling momentarily to the bed sheets, lingering long enough 
for her to begin moving, before coming away in wisps and 
curls to follow her.
     "I will be a great asset to you in your battle, lord 
of the Doomons, for with my power at your side, you may 
give command to your army without need to be near them."
     "What?! How is this?" Asked Dooly, confused.
     "With a spider on the shoulder of each and every 
soldier, (say that three times fast, nevermind, it's easy, 
forget I said anything,) and me by your side, where so 
ever you may be. Simply tell me what your commands are, 
and through me the spiders will KNOW as well, and guide 
your troops into action!" The spider queen rhymed, (except 
for that last bit.)
    Dooly may have been the Doomon king, but he was no 
military genius, (as is witnessed in the fact that he had 
failed to usurp DAN in the FIRST place,) nonetheless, even 
HE could see the distinct tactical advantage that this 
spider-spirit would present him with. So he was quick to 
assure her of her necessity.
    "You can do that?" He said, really pouring it on, 
"Gee, you're real good. Do you wanna get something to eat, 
while Chris-the-electrician does that summoning thang?"
    "Why... yes. I am a bit... HUNGRY." She rasped, giving 
Dooly a look that he didn't quite know how to interpret.
     Just then, Chris-the-electrician burst forth into the 
Doomon king's chambers, waving his arms frantically, and 
mumbling to himself, though he spoke so all could hear.
    "I did it, I did it, Nya-nya-nya-na-nya-nyaaaaaaa!" He 
spoke, in the dialect of sage's that none, save he, could 
understand.
    "What troubles you my sage?" Queried Dooly, Still 
eyeing the Widower uncomfortably. She licked her lips in 
return, and he turned his full attention to the sage in an 
effort to distract himself from the sight.
    "I've summoned a most powerful ally..." Then he paused 
to intake the scene before him, and finally turned to 
Dooly, a look of concern dominating his features, and 
asked, "You didn't mention anything about..." his eyes 
swiveled warily back towards the spider-spirit, " F-O-O-D, 
did you?"
    "UR... No, of course not. Why would I?" Said Dooly 
defensively.
    "Oh. Good. Well, Don't. That would be a bad idea." He 
said, not quite convinced of the Doomon lord's sincerity.
     "Um, You were saying something about an ally?" Dooly 
tactfully drew the sage's attentions back to the original 
reason for his timely intrusion.
     "Oh, yeah," The electrician ripped his gaze from the 
Widower, and planted it upon the Doomon lord, "I've 
summoned some... THING, that I think you should see." And, 
turning towards the door, he beckoned over his shoulder 
for them to follow.



		CHAPTER 5:


DAN and his new chief of war, the Baroness, studied the 
intricate computer rendering of his castle AMHERST, 
looking for areas that lay prone to attack, and in need of 
fortification before the forthcoming assault by the Doomon 
lord.
    "It doesn't look good," said the Baroness, speaking 
frankly as was her wont, "he's got at least as many 
Doomons as you have Dangels, and your castle is so 
constructed as to limit your own range of strategy, where 
as his, on the open plain, is  virtually unlimited. Truly 
it will only be the power of you and whom you choose for 
allies that shall decide the outcome of THIS battle."
    "You have yet to steer me wrong, Baroness," Said DAN, 
admiring the lady's... Uh, TACT... "since your arrival you 
have brought my army under a semblance of readiness, and 
have advised me unfailingly as to the truth of my 
situation."
    "Thank you for saying so, *sniff,sniff* I feel so 
WANTED." Said the Baroness, tears springing to her eyes in 
a fit of emotion that DAN had become accustomed to over 
the past couple of days.
    "But, who," He questioned, ignoring the blubbering of 
his chief warrior, "Would I, A GOD, seek to ally myself 
with? Who would be fit to assist ME?"
    "I have heard rumors," Responded the Baroness 
immediately, as if she had known he would ask, and had 
prepared an answer beforehand, "On my many journeys 
through the outer worlds, of a place, an alternate 
existence. A mirror image of our own worlds, wherein dwell 
beings not unlike ourselves."
    "...AND?!" Asked DAN, with all the patience of a god.
    "Well, it would stand to reason that if this mirror 
world exists, that there is a mirror GOD who has created 
it!" Explained the leather garbed warrior, "I should 
believe that it would not be beyond YOUR power to draw him 
into this world in order to assist you!"
    "Yes, well... I knew that." answered DAN, and 
immediately turned from the computer and the Baroness both 
to walk across his room towards the far wall. The Baroness 
turned to follow him, shaking her head as if in disgust.
    On the far wall hung an ornate mirror which shined 
from within, the light reflected off of the world beyond 
it. DAN halted in front of the sparkling glass, and 
without hesitation thrust his hands into it's reflective 
depths. The polished glass rippled and swirled about his 
arms as they plunged, elbow deep, past the surface. DAN 
rotated his shoulders in a circle, slowly drawing forth 
his hands, pulling back from the mirror.
The baroness half expected his arms to come away wet, for 
the surface of the mirror so resembled the rippling of a 
pond, but as they came out she saw that they were as dry 
as when they had gone in.
    Yet, as his hands finally broke the surface and were 
clearly visible once more, she did notice one major 
difference. They held something! 
    DAN twisted and pulled, fighting to draw his own 
reflection from the mirror! And slowly, ever so slowly, 
but with great effort, the reflection came! Until finally 
there lay DAN, panting and tired with exertion, on the 
floor of his room, next to his reflection.
    The Baroness look became quizzical as she studied the 
doppleganger more closely, the thing that struck her as 
particularly odd was that the curly haired be-spectacled 
individual beside DAN looked absolutely nothing like him! 
    "What the HELL do you think your DOING, DAN?" Queried 
the reflection, harshly.
     DAN's head snapped up, eyes wide, all evidence of his 
prior weariness dissipating on the instant.
     "CHRIS?" He asked, not daring to believe, but knowing 
it to be true.
     "Who did you think it was? Rock Hudson?" Said CHRIS, 
raising himself off the floor, and dusting his clothes off 
with his hands before turning to assist DAN in rising.
     "But, B-but, I don't get it," Stammered DAN, "What 
were you doing in that alternate universe?"
     "Doing?" Reiterated CHRIS, at once angered and 
puzzled, "I CREATED that universe, so that I could have 
one aside from YOURS!"
     "But, Why would you make it a mirror image if you 
didn't like MINE!" 
      "I never said that I didn't like yours, all I said 
was that I wanted one ASIDE from it."
    "OH. Okay, I suppose I can see that."
    "*AHEM*" The Baroness cleared her throat, then spat on 
the floor at the GODS feet, "Perhaps you are forgetting 
the point of this exercise DAN?!"
    "Oh yeah, Umm, will you help me CHRIS?"
     "Help you do what? I have my own problems you know! 
Hmmm, on second though...yeah, I'll help you. if you 
promise to help ME in return."
     "UH... deal, sure."
     "My, my," Uttered the Baroness, still shaking her 
head in disgust, "You gentlemen are doing a wonderful job 
of avoiding the issue at hand. So, might I suggest that 
you tell each other what the problem IS!"
     CHRIS and DAN looked at her, then at one another, and 
then began in unison:
     "Well, there's this guy who's going to lead an army 
against me in order to steal my place as..." Then they 
stopped, gawked at one another in consternation, then 
turned back to the Baroness, seeking guidance.
     "Well, DUH!" She answered their questioning gazes, 
"You ARE from mirror worlds, OF COURSE you have the same 
problem. So, The man we're up against is Dooly and if you 
help us fight him, then we can help you fight off your 
guy, capiche'?"
     "yeah, okay... You speak wisely warrior, DAN has 
chosen you well." Answered CHRIS.
     "Whatever. So... what's the name of the guy trying to 
take YOUR realm anyway?"
     "His name," Answered CHRIS, "...is Rob."



		CHAPTER 6:


As the sage Chris-the-electrician lead  the Widower and 
Dooly, (who kept the Widower where he could see her,) 
towards the hall-where-I-keep-my-throne, a loud commotion 
began to make it's way to their ears. The closer they 
came, the more they were able to discern the meaning of 
that raucous wailing, for within the hall was imprisoned a 
creature not unlike a human male, except with more hair, 
and a nasty disposition.
    "Look." Said the Electrician, stopping in the doorway 
and raising a single finger to point out the monstrosity.
    Dooly and the Widower looked, and were startled by the 
sight before them. The Ape-man swiveled his head to stare 
back at them from within the circle of binding where the 
sage had imprisoned him, and hurled a stream of expletives 
that made the Doomon king cringe in fear and loathing.
    "Why have I been summoned here!" The hairy man 
growled, "You have no right to imprison me, why... I am 
the next GOD! I have work to do, free me or you shall all 
suffer my wrath! I shall..." And thereupon the creature's 
oratory deteriorated once again into a mire of uncouth 
verse.
    But, something he had said clawed at the Doomon lord's 
mind, and refused to let him be, until finally he turned 
to address the sage.
    "I'm going in to talk to him," He whispered, not 
wishing the man inside to hear should his cursing cease 
long enough to give him a clear ear, "When I say it, 
release him from the spell which binds him... No, no, do 
not try to dissuade me, I know what it is that needs to be 
done here if I am to gain another ally." So saying, the 
Doomon lord turned and entered the great hall, in spite of 
the protests which struck at his back.
    "HO There, strange one." He hailed with raised hand, 
as he approached the incensed creature.
    "Not so strange as some!" It snarled, in answer, "Why 
am I brought here, and who art though who has accomplished 
so great a task as to have bid forth the unborn?"
    "I am Dooly, lord of the Doomons, king of this realm 
and eternal adversary to the god DAN."
     "OH-HO!" Ejaculated the creature, standing back to 
take in the Doomon king, surprise registering on his 
bestial features, "The god DAN is it?! and YOU the eternal 
adversary, it is indeed a far off land to which I have 
come! For know this, O' Doomon king, that where I find my 
bed each night, I am the adversary of the most high of 
"gods", and that HE is called CHRIS-the-right-headed!"
     "How now, Another world you say, and a creature of 
your appearance in MY stead!" Exclaimed Dooly, stunned, 
"But, how can anything else be true when my own eyes bear 
me witness of your presence! Tell me creature, how can 
this be so, and who are you who would speak it thusly?"
    Now, the sage and the Widower had entered the hall to 
better hear the converse of the opposing adversary's, and 
so stood nearby as the creature spoke it's heritage.
    "Call me not a beast nor a creature, for I am of the 
unborn, and before birth was known, all appeared as I do 
now! And thou shalt address me hereforth with the utmost 
respect, for I am none other than Lunatic Moonstone, 
called Rob!"
    "Lunatic Moonstone?" Questioned the widower.
    "Maybe his parents were hippies." Speculated the 
Doomon king.
    "Hey! Minus ten karma for breaking character, Dooly!" 
Screeched the sage, almost immediately.
    "Huh?! OH... yeah, sorry. *AHEM* forgive my untoward 
remarks of previous, Lord Rob, for I knew not to whom I 
addressed myself." The Doomon lord recovered, with no 
small degree of finesse, "These are similar straights I 
find myself in, similar indeed to your own, and... should 
I free you, I think that we might benefit from assisting 
one another, would that be agreeable?"
    "Most agreeable, Doomon Lord, now that you have found 
some semblance of a civilized tongue! Free me, and we 
shall discuss the details of our alliance!"
    Having heard this Dooly gave an almost imperceptible 
nod to the sage, and, so seeing, the Electrician moved his 
hands in such a manor as to release the invisible bonds 
which had held the unborn one captive.
    "And now," Uttered Rob, stepping towards the small 
group, flexing his arms as if to be sure that his 
restraints were no longer in evidence, "We shall see if 
you are indeed fit to DESERVE my assistance! Prepare 
yourself Dooly!" And, with that, The unborn one threw 
himself forwards into the midst of his summoners.



		CHAPTER 7:


"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, WAIT!" Exclaimed DAN, "Just 
wait one minute here!"
    The god stood in the throne room of AMHERST with his 
general and his mirror twin, questioning the ability of 
CHRIS to have created another universe.
    "What, exactly," Asked the god, "are your powers, 
and/or special abilities, anyway?!"
    "Well," Answered CHRIS, feinting deep thought, "I can, 
Ummm..."
     The Baroness looked up expectantly.
     "I can.. ~~~~~~................................" 
Mumbled the mirror god.
     "WHAT?!" Spat DAN.
     "Yeah, could you repeat that a little louder, some of 
us at the back of the class are having a little trouble 
hearing you." Responded the Baroness, her repartee rife 
with sarcasm, (for a CHANGE.)
     "I SAID," Reiterated CHRIS, "That I have the power to 
turn the color green into a slightly different shade of 
the color green. Well... it's not really a POWER per 
say... it's more of a rather singular TALENT really, 
and..."
     "Wait a minute again. I have another question," Posed 
DAN, "Ummm, how is it that you created a mirror version of 
my own universe when the only ability you boast is turning 
green into green, I was just wondering really, how is that 
possible? Hmmm?"
    "Well... I didn't really CREATE it I guess." CHRIS 
admitted, rather unwillingly, but feeling the pressure of 
their eyes upon him forced himself to continue, "I just 
sort of took the ACTUAL mirror image of yours, and made it 
slightly... greener."
    "GREENER!" Shouted DAN.
    "Yes. But just enough so that I was god, and not 
you... I'm sorry."
    "How could you!" Raged DAN, in a godly tantrum, "That 
was MY mirror image universe, you had no right! Why, I 
should..."
    "Should what?!" Countered CHRIS, "HUH? what are you 
gonna do? Well, PINK BOY, bring it on! We'll see how YOU 
like being GREEN for a little while! C'MON KERMIT, Do 
somethin'!"
    CHRIS raised his hands, ready to defend, as DAN's eyes 
glowed defiance, and he raised his own hands to strike, it 
could have meant the difference of a shade of green to our 
story if only it weren't for the Baroness timely 
intervention.
    "Will, you boy's just stop it! I mean, children 
please, we're allies for a little while right, if we don't 
start acting like it then you might as well hand over BOTH 
your universes to your respective adversaries! God, I 
thought dissension was supposed to be prevalent in the 
enemy's camp!"
    "Yes, your right of course." Acknowledged DAN, "I 
don't know what I'd do without so level-headed an 
advisor."
    "Yeah," stated CHRIS, "I wish I had an... Hey, wait a 
minute. I forgot my advisor!"
    "Oh no." Stated the Baroness simply, her mind whirling 
about her. 'If it's a mirror world where everything is a 
shade different from this one,' She thought to herself, 
'then his advisor can only be MY mirror image! for that is 
the function which I perform to his equivalent in THIS 
universe!' The thought struck horror into her heart, the 
prospect of meeting an alternate version of herself wore 
heavily on her mind. There were so many questions: would 
they get along? Did they have the same tastes? Would she 
be wearing the same outfit? 'Oh my god! I'd be SO 
embarrassed!' And it seemed that it would not be long till 
her questions were answered, for, even now CHRIS was 
reaching back into the mirror to draw forth his advisor! 



		CHAPTER 8:


The world below:
  
   Chris-the-electrician pressed his back close to the 
cold gray stone which comprised the corridor that lead to 
the hall-where-I-keep-my-dinette-set, feeling it chafe 
against his flesh through the thin robes he wore. Sweat 
dotted his brow, which was furrowed in concentration, as 
he struggled to recall what had occurred previously. How 
had he come into this plight? 
  Slowly the memory resolved itself, rising aloft from the 
mists in his mind, shining with a new clarity: The unborn 
one had shot forward to land at the feet of the Doomon 
lord, and then he had presented the terms of his challenge 
in full detail, Dooly, never one to be outdone, had nodded 
his assent, and then they had all dispersed. At first the 
sage had run blindly through the long dark corridors of MY 
CASTLE, (for so had the Doomon lord labeled his keep,) 
striving simply to put distance between himself and the 
others, now he was forced to change his tactic. The hunted 
to the hunter! If he were to survive this terrible 
challenge, he would need to find his enemy before he 
himself was found.
   The sage moved his hands over the stone, chanting in 
some long forgotten tongue, and as his flesh massaged the 
wall, so it became smooth under his fingers. The stone 
melted and flowed, becoming only as solid as gray Jell-O, 
and the Electrician stepped forward, submerging himself in 
the gelatinous rock, which jiggled and wiggled as it 
swallowed his body, then solidified, becoming once more a 
normal wall.
   
   Dooly peered cautiously around the corner into the 
hall-where-I-keep-my-shower, his eyes darting back and 
forth rapidly, trying to look everywhere at once. He knew 
his victory, nay, even unto his continued existence hinged 
upon his being the champion of the unborn one's challenge, 
and so he searched feverishly throughout the length and 
breadth of his castle, trying to locate Rob.
   A soft sound, not more than the exhale of a baby's 
breath, arose from just in front of him, and he gawked as 
the wall before his eyes warped and flexed outward to 
disgorge the robed figure of his sage Chris-the-
electrician. The sage hurriedly ran to the Doomon king's 
position, ducking down to sit in the lee of the toilet, 
back to the wall. His gaze shifting fervently around the 
four corners of the hall.
   "How come you here O' sage?" queried the Doomon lord, 
in a throaty whisper.
   "I cast a minor finding to locate the one we seek, it 
brought me here. Indeed our query is not far afield." 
Responded he.
   "Verily. You have the right of it, for I can spy him 
from here!" Answered Dooly suddenly, as he caught the 
slight shifting of motion from the corner of his vision.
   Sure enough, the unborn one stalked around the far 
corner, skirting the edge of the hall, he walked in a lope 
crouched low to the ground, stopping frequently to scent 
the air for his prey. In this fashion he worked his way 
ever closer to the hiding sage and his king.
   "Lord Dooly, we are found!" Shrilled the electrician, 
in an almost silent exhale that nonetheless found the 
Doomon lord's ear.
   Their eyes stayed riveted to the unborn one's lupine 
figure, their bodies frozen with tension and overwhelmed 
by fear, they could only watch as Rob stalked ever closer.
   Of a sudden, something small detached itself from the 
stone ceiling just above the lunatic's head. It glided 
fluidly down a single silken strand to land soundlessly on 
the floor in the wake of the Moonstone.
   A spider. A spider no bigger than a man's little toe, 
yet it rushed forward to catch up with the unborn one as 
if it were 10,000 times it's actual size, and had nothing 
to fear from one such as he.
   "See you this O' sage?" Hissed Dooly, and Chris-the-
electrician nodded and stared in return. All their fear 
forgotten, even though the unborn one was almost upon 
them, for as they stared the form of the spider blurred! 
It's rearmost legs, two to a side, melded together to form 
a single thick limb on either side, even as the front two 
pairs bled into one another becoming a single pair of 
thickened limbs. The arachnid's form twisted and expanded, 
bloating outward, changing shape as the many eyes of it's 
head gathered into two, and the curve of it's body slimmed 
into human proportion. Within seconds the form was that of 
the Widower! 
   The spider-spirit had successfully tracked the Lunatic 
throughout his hunt, but had allowed him to get close 
enough to his quarry so as to demonstrate to the Doomon 
lord and the sage that without her, they would have been 
lost. But, now, in the final seconds of the hunt, it was 
she who had the unborn one right where she wanted him.
   She reached out a slender arm, moving with all the 
delicate grace of a spider treading across it's tightrope 
web, and laid a petite hand on the Lunatic's shoulder. Rob 
froze, And in the second before the Widower's voice 
breathed in his ear, he realized that he had lost at his 
own game.
   "Tag, your it." Said the Spider-spirit, and Lunatic 
Moonstone cursed himself all the way back to the hall-
where-I-keep-my-throne. Wherein he agreed to aid in the 
Doomon lord's cause, but to be answerable only to the one 
who had defeated him in the hunt.
   "It is good." Said Dooly, "you are indeed a man of 
honor, but we are still not enough to pit against the 
forces which DAN is surely amassing. I must seek others to 
help us."
   "Your pardon, Dooly." Spoke the Lunatic, (in the most 
eldrich sense of the word,) "But I also have a mage of no 
small ability who, were I to summon him, could lend his 
power to your own sage's thereby increasing our magic two-
fold!"
   "Indeed." Dooly's eyes glittered, "Well then, summon 
him at once, if you would be so kind, and when he is come 
bring him to my chambers so that I might make his 
acquaintance, for that is where I shall be. It has been a 
tiring day, and if you will all pardon me, I think I shall 
retire for the evening."
   Dooly turned to exit the room, but not before noticing 
that the Lunatic turned to the Widower, and waited for her 
nod of acknowledgment before commencing his summoning 
ceremony. 'That's fine,' thought the Doomon lord, 'as long 
as he's working for me, it doesn't really matter who's 
actually giving the orders.' Little did he know exactly 
how wrong that sentiment would eventually prove.



		CHAPTER 9:



The form came away from the mirror's surface easily as 
CHRIS pulled, holding it by the shoulders, and then, there 
she stood gazing at the room around her, a look of wonder 
dominating her features.
   "Everybody, this MEL 2000, my synthetic advisor... I 
programmed her myself." CHRIS radiated pride, beaming as 
all examined the android, and it, in turn, examined them.
   She, (for to all intents and purposes the machine was 
decorated to represent a female human,) was slightly 
shorter than CHRIS, and had long blond hair which had been 
drawn into pigtails on either side of her head, she wore a 
pink dress with white frills and a perpetual smile, that 
was almost immediately annoying.
   "Well," Said DAN, "She's cute, I'll give you that, but, 
doesn't programming your own advisor sort of defeat the 
purpose of having one?"
   "Hmmm. I never thought of that... No wonder I always 
like her ideas." CHRIS speculated aloud.
   Meanwhile M.E.L. had wandered over towards where the 
Baroness stood, eyeing the machine with a degree of 
disgust.
   "Hello!" Said the machine, in a happy, childlike, 
annoying manner, "I like you! You're pretty, and what a 
strange outfit! What is this material?"
   "Um..." The Baroness was momentarily taken aback by the 
question, but recovered quickly, "It's leather, Don't tell 
me you've never seen leather before?"
   "No never!" Responded M.E.L. still beaming, "It looks 
uncomfortable, I like my dress! Do you like my dress? I 
think it's the best!"
   "Honey, we need to talk." Stated the Baroness, and 
taking the cute android by the arm dragged her out of 
earshot of the menfolk, with glorious plans to corrupt her 
mortal soul, (if she had one.)
   CHRIS watched his creation with a broad smile, and DAN 
could only stare at him, mouth agape, until he finally 
forced but a few words past his dry lips.
   "You're sick." He wheezed, "you do realize that, don't 
you."
   "Yup. Uh-Huh, Uh-Huh, Uh-Huh." CHRIS answered, nodding 
his head rigorously.
   "What does the M.E.L. in MEL stand for, anyway?"
   "Uh... You don't want to know."
   "Oooookay. I don't want to know."
   DAN watched the android speaking with his own advisor 
in a far corner, and wondered, if only briefly, what it 
was they might have to talk about, before turning back to 
address his doppleganger once more.
   "I don't suppose that I could..."
   "No." Interrupted CHRIS, still watching his creation.
   "Bastard."
   And so time passed in the upper world...






		CHAPTER 10:



The Doomon lord rested his head upon the downy pillows 
which adorned the bed in his sleep chamber, until his 
eyelids weighed heavy with the events of the day. He 
drifted comfortably through the realm between sleep and 
wakefulness, barely registering, consciously, the slight 
sound which brought him back to full alertness.
   Chris-the-electrician stole into the chamber after the 
fashion of those who manipulate magic’s, and silently 
approached the Doomon lord, who lay, seemingly, in sleep.
   "I prithee, Lord Dooly, wake! For I have matters which 
needs must be discussed, although in private." Spoke the 
sage softly.
   "I do not sleep, O' sage. Pray, tell me your concern." 
asked the Doomon king, without a word of reproach to the 
magic user, because he realized the matter must indeed be 
urgent to drive the sage here at such a time.
   "It is for the loyalties of the two which I have 
summoned forth into your service, lord. I have witnessed 
deeds which suggest that perhaps they do not respect your 
cause as much as they could... and this causes me some 
worry."
   "Fear not for my safety, loyal Magus, nor for your own, 
I have but little knowledge of such workings except that 
what can be summoned by magic, can be dismissed by that 
same route, is this not true?"
   "Yes, lord, it is."
   "then prepare the necessary spells, and should your 
fears come to bear the rotten fruit of prophecy, then we 
shall return these pawns to the realms from which they 
hail."
   "As you command it, so have I already done." Said the 
sage, reaching into the folds of his robe and drawing 
forth an amulet of purest ice encased in bronze, "This 
charm need only be cast to the floor to carry out that 
very sentiment, for when the ice within is broken the 
spell will enact itself. I give it to you, for if indeed 
my words have the ring of truth those who I have summoned 
will seek to do me harm first and foremost, to protect 
themselves from banishment!"
   "You are indeed wise, and worthy of your title O' sage, 
but... will not the ice melt, enacting the spell before 
the time is ripe?"
   The Wizard's face fell. surprise turning quickly to 
embarrassment, and then finally to shame. Placing the 
amulet back into his robe he withdrew from the room, 
shuffling his feet across the stone floor, and muttering 
to himself.
   The Doomon lord stared after him for a moment, eyeing 
the door he had passed through, when of a sudden another 
form stood framed within the doorway, and called his 
attention.
   "I have done as you requested, Dooly," Grated the voice 
of the Lunatic, "and called my mage forth from my own 
universe. Even now he is here, standing ready to meet your 
approval."
   Dooly took a time, as the unborn one awaited his reply, 
to contemplate the nature of the beast before him, in 
hopes of gaining insight into his mind's workings. Could 
this one betray him so soon? He knew a little of words and 
their inherent meanings which helped him to puzzle out 
Rob's chosen titles. 'Lunatic,' he thought, 'was a term 
assigned those who were insane in days when such anomalies 
were attributed to the phases of the moon. the word itself 
is a derivative of the word lunar. As for Moonstone, well 
it only serves to accompany the previous title, and to 
substantiate my theory concerning it's origins.'
   'This... Rob,'  He continued to theorize, 'is a 
worshiper of the moon, and she is one of the oldest of 
gods, worshipped since before mankind by the howls of those 
who dwell in the forests of deepest night. Why, and so is 
this Rob like unto those very creatures in his bearing and 
manner!' Dooly scratched his chin, 'from what I know of 
these beasts, they dwell in packs, benefiting one another’s 
existence. this would indicate loyalty, and a fierce 
devotional honor... one such as this would not betray me 
of his own accord. Yet,' recalled the Lord of Doomons, 'it 
is not ME to which he owes such loyalty.'
   Dooly looked up from his reverie, and gazed on the 
Lunatic with new eyes. Eyes at once observant, and wary. 
Then, he addressed himself to the waiting man.
   "I will interview him from my throne, as is befitting 
one of my status. Please, go you to make him ready, and I 
will be there directly." The Lunatic nodded, and then 
loped away off down the corridors of MY CASTLE, the 
padding of his feet echoing back to the Doomon king's ears 
as he began to rouse himself from bed.



		CHAPTER 11:


Dooly had stopped by the hall-where-I-keep-a-bed-for-my-
guests on his way to the hall-where-I-keep-my-throne, in 
order to ask Chris-the-electrician if he would accompany 
him on his way.
   "Of course," Answered the wizard, amiably, and finished 
the trinket he was working on with a flourish before 
holding it aloft, "And THIS, is for you."
   The bauble looked to be a monkey constructed of molded 
red plastic, and strung to a thread of blue yarn. It was 
quite gaudy, and brought to mind the toys one might get 
from a vending machine after depositing a quarter and 
turning the crank.
   "What is it?" queried the Doomon king.
   "Why, have you forgotten so soon! Tis the very device 
we spoke of previously, which will dispel all I have 
summoned when activated."
   "You mean I gotta' where that ugly thing!" Dooly 
leered, "Oh well, whatever. How does it work."
   "Well," answered the sage, somewhat disheartened by 
Dooly's thoughtless criticism, "You just yank it so that 
it breaks free of the yarn, then throw it. That's all."
   "Oh, all right." Said the Doomon lord, resigning 
himself to it, and taking the plastic monkey, looped the 
yarn about his neck. "There, let's go."

   In the hall-where-I-keep-my-throne, three persons 
waited as Dooly and Chris entered and walked to the front 
of the room. Dooly seated himself upon the throne and 
acknowledge the Widower, as well as the Moonstone, but 
refrained from addressing the one he did not recognize, 
for he appeared to have his attentions engaged. 
   The Lunatic's mage, for so he could only assume it was, 
was dressed all in a black robe which covered him head to 
toe and bore a hood that would have concealed his 
features, (as was doubtless it's purpose,) if the light in 
the hall had not been so good.
But, it was. And so Dooly observed, with no small amount 
of amusement, that the man was trying to set his face in a 
look of hardened concentration, but only succeeded in 
looking as though he needed to use the bathroom.
   The mage danced in a circle, moving his arms in 
spasmodic gestures, while chanting an unfamiliar verse 
over and over, So Dooly dared not interrupt lest he 
despoil the magic user's spell, whatever it might be.
   "FIRE! DO-DO-DO-DO-DOOO, YOU'VE GOT TO LEARN, DO-DO-DO-
DO-DOOO. FIRE! DO-DO-DO-DO-DOOO, YOU'VE GOT TO BURN, DO-
DO-DO-DO-DOOO..." and so on. So it was that the mage 
chanted as his body moved, somewhat in time with the 
verse.
   Dooly dared not interrupt, yet the Lunatic had no such 
qualm, and introduced the mage in a loud voice.  
   "Lord of the Doomons, I present you my mage: a druid 
most powerful, the Mad Monk James-the-naked!"
   The Mad Monk did not cease in his chanting for a 
second, but raised a single hand to acknowledge the Doomon 
king, and the continued with his dance.
   "Lord Lunatic," Questioned Dooly, "is it wise to 
interrupt him whilst he works his magic’s?"
   "No magic is this." Stated the Lunatic, giving his mage 
a sidelong glance, "Tis but something he does when there 
is naught else to occupy him."
   "AH." Nodded the Doomon king in understanding, and 
regarded the druid with something less than awe, then 
asked "What sort of powers does he usually call upon when 
he does do magic?"
   "Oh! his powers are tremendous indeed!" Assured the 
Lunatic.
   "Yes," Agreed Chris-the-electrician from where he stood 
by the throne, "but, what exactly are they?"
   "They are the powers that even gods fear!" Exclaimed 
Rob, shaking a clenched fist vigorously to accentuate his 
words, "Powers that, were you to but witness them only 
once you would be struck blind by the shear 
overwhelming... POWER!"
   "Yet, you are not blind." Observed Dooly.
   "Well... Only the fact that I have not been forced to 
bear witness to such remarkable displays, have I been 
spared that horrible affliction! Indeed I pray that I 
never shall have to be!" Pleaded the Lunatic.
   Chris and Dooly exchanged glances, while the Widower 
eyed the mage with growing contempt.
   "You mean... you've never seen him do ANY magic?" Asked 
Chris.
   "Heaven forbid that I should!" Said the Lunatic.
   "... I see." Nodded the sage. Then, turning to Dooly, 
he whistled and moved his forefinger around his ear in a 
circular motion. But the Doomon lord failed to see, for 
his attentions were rapt on the druid, who had ceased his 
chant and stood still with his feet set far apart, his 
fingers hooked into talons, and his arms flexed wide.
   "Is he posing?" Asked the Doomon lord of the Lunatic.
   "Yes, he does that sometimes," Answered Rob, turning 
from the throne to face his mage, "But listen close, for 
he mutters when he does this, and you will hear how truly 
terrible he is!"
  **
  "his eyes and hands burn with a strange blue fire that 
radiates a chilling effect (coldfire)." The Mad Monk's 
voice was barely audible as he whispered his stunning 
narrative, "He can walk in out of the shadows as an 
entrance but he always disappears in a flash of smoke 
(gray fog) that dissipates and leaves behind the faint 
aroma of elderberries (he is, after all, an ancient, ELDER 
god:)). 
   his cowl is always on his head and only his mouth and 
glowing
burning blue eyes can be seen from within. He almost never 
smiles, but at 
something humorous he will smirk. his powers include 
creating great or small
embankments of fog, incinerating creatures or objects in a 
cold fire (coldfire)
which acts like a disintegration spell, teleporting 
himself and others in a 
puff of gray smoke. his feet cannot be seen due to the 
robes. the fog does not 
cause the coldfire, these are two different affects. this 
figure melts away into shadows and fog and other such 
hideable places, usually not to return. If 
injured he will bleed coldfire, not blood. If he is 
"destroyed" he is not
destroyed but dissipated to return later. if he gets 
dissipated his avatar
form will explode in an inferno of Coldfire...." And so 
on. 
**
   The Widower stepped back a pace or two, in order to 
give the monk a wide berth as she moved to join the others 
around the throne. There, they all eyed the aptly named 
Mad Monk, as he continued to pose his way through a 
detailed commentary, seemingly ignorant of the gazes upon 
him.
   "He's Uhmm, He's not very GOOD." Stated Chris, and 
Dooly nodded agreement.
   They all turned to face Rob, who fumed for a moment, 
glowering down at his "all powerful" enchanter, before 
muttering under his breath.
   "Let's see YOU try to find a good magic user in this 
day and age..." and then broke down into a fit of 
swearing.
NOTE: in this chapter the "**" sign denotes dialogue 
submitted by James bent.



		CHAPTER 12:


"Oh my! This is the cutest little plant I have ever seen! I 
love it sooo much, I want to give it a great big kiss! 
*smooch* For you little plant, Tee-hee!"
   DAN, CHRIS, and the Baroness, sat around the god's room 
in the castle AMHERST with dreary countenances. The M.E.L. 
android had been going on like this ever since she had 
arrived, and they were all quite bored with it, even 
CHRIS, who mumbled:
   "Maybe I should have given her an off switch."
   "Maybe you should have given her an instant-painful-
death switch." Muttered DAN  in return.
   "I may just have to leave shortly," Said the Baroness, 
"I've just remembered that I scheduled a Dangel combat 
training class for today and I don't want to..."
   "Oh no you don't," Interrupted DAN, "You're staying 
right here and be utterly miserable with the rest of us."
   The Baroness breathed a heavy exhale, and slumped back 
into her chair, folding her arms across her chest in a 
gesture of subjugation.
   "Why all the sad faces!" Piped the robot as she 
approached where the others had gathered to wallow in 
their grief, "We don't have any mister smiley's today! 
Karen you should..."
   "It's 'the Baroness' if you please." She griped.
   "Okay," Corrected M.E.L. "The-Baroness-if-you-please, 
you should help me cheer up these grumpy gus's, after all, 
it's a woman's place!"
   The Baroness gave CHRIS a disgusted look, as he 
whistled and tried to blend into the chair he sat upon.
   "You are despicable." She hissed. CHRIS shrunk even 
more, trying to fold himself away from her gaze.
   "Even I wouldn't go THAT far in programming a humanoid 
robot, CHRIS. You ARE despicable." Said DAN, earning 
himself his own glare, from CHRIS this time.
   "Give me the programming code." Said the Baroness 
flatly.
   "WHAT!" Exclaimed CHRIS, "But it took me a long time to 
get her just right, and..."
   "GIVE-ME-THE-PROGRAMMING-CODE." Reiterated the irate 
Baroness.
   "All right, all right. It's voice command based 
programming, just speak the program code then dictate 
alterations, okay?" Said CHRIS, still hesitating to give 
the code.
   "CHRIS!" Shouted the Baroness, making his name into a 
demand.
   "ALL RIGHT I SAID!" He shouted back, then, taking a 
deep breath exhaled it in a few words, "The code is... 
Excite me."
   DAN Glowered. The Baroness clucked her tongue and 
stared. And CHRIS climbed down off his chair and crawled 
under the table, waiting for the attention to move away 
from him.
   "I can see that this is going to take some major 
reprogramming." Stated the Baroness as she rose from her 
seat, and moved towards the robot.
   "Oh GEE, Do you think?" Said DAN sarcastically, and 
followed her with the intention of helping.
   CHRIS remained under the table all night, as the others 
stayed awake in order to alter M.E.L.'s program, They 
thought he was overplaying his part, but in truth he had 
fallen asleep, and by the morning had forgotten all about 
it. Although he did bump his head on the table when he 
awoke, and wondered what in the Sam-hill he was doing 
there.



		CHAPTER 13:


THE UNDERWORLD:
   All lay quiet in and around MY CASTLE, as both master 
and servant alike took their hours of rest... But, in the-
hall-where-I-keep-a-bed-for-my-guests-not-the-original-
one-but-a-different-one-for-if-I-have-another-guest-and-
there's-already-one-in-the-first-one, the Mad Druid tossed 
and mumbled in a restless sleep.
   His sheets he had kicked down to the bottom of the bed, 
his still robed form was damp with sweat, and he flailed 
his arms and cried out as his dream brought him into the 
mind of another:

   THE MIDDLE WORLD:
   The warrior stood on a hillside which overlooked the 
village of his birth, his hands rested on the butt of his 
broadsword where he held it, point to the earth, in front 
of him. He basked in the warm rays of the noon sun, and 
nodded to himself. His curly rust colored hair waved and 
danced in the luke breezes, and the coarse bristles of his 
similarity hued beard scratched the massive expanse his of 
chest as he turned to address his companion.
   "What say you, Jeff, are we prepared to take leave of 
this township?" The Viking warrior asked in a deep bass, 
that rumbled from his throat with the force of a 
landslide.
   "Hey, don't ask me," answered his sidekick, "you're the 
village hero."
   Jeff was a small man, smaller by far than the Viking 
who would have towered over a full grown oak, (well, not 
LITERALLY... but he WAS big,) and his nature was given 
more towards peace than the heat of battle, despite what 
the well muscled bulk of his frame might indicate.
   The Viking stood for a moment longer, then with a 
resolute sigh he turned and began his long journey down 
the dirt road which would, eventually, take him and his 
companion to the easternmost borders of his lord's 
demesne.
   "What good is a hero, loyal Jeff?" Sighed Dave, (for 
such was the Viking’s name,) "What  good when there is 
nary a battle to be fought, nor maiden to be rescued in a 
kingdom overrun with the curse of peace?"
   "How many times must we address this topic, Dave? Your 
bakery was doing quite well, there was no need to up and 
go looking for trouble! Why could you not be content with 
your lot, like all the rest of us!" Questioned the squire. 
    A squire to a Viking you say? and yes, it was true, 
for Jeff had pledged himself to serve the warrior for as 
long as he should wander, yet the man's heritage and his 
position dictated that he was a Viking, and would never 
know the code of a true knight.
    "Content!" Spat the warrior, "Contempt be more 
truthful! Yet truth is not what we discuss is it? You 
people professing to be happy, trapped in a daily routine, 
prisoners by your own choosing, PFAH! No more for me, 
thanks, I'm driving."
    "But, where shall we go? Where do think you will find 
the action you so desire? There is not but peace in all 
the lands hereabout!"
    "I am a warrior by birth, regardless of my baker's 
station, I can feel it in my blood. It's not muffins and 
loaves for me, but battle and blood. Not an oven's flame, 
but the heat of a raging fire. And no longer the slender 
bread knife of a town's baker, but the severe heft of a 
broadsword!" The warrior halted in midstride, and 
attempted to gain leverage enough to raise the enormous 
sword from where it dragged behind him, but he failed 
miserably and instead raised his fist to emphasize his 
words, "I need not find a battle, for the battle shall 
find it's way to me!"
    "Okay there, big guy, whatever you say,” soothed Jeff, 
raising his hands to ward away the Viking, "Just take it 
easy and try to stay on the road, right."
    "Yes... Yes, let us be away from here, I crave the 
warm broth of adventure!"
    And the companions moved onward.
    
    THE UNDERWORLD:
    The Monk's eyes flew open, and he lay breathing 
heavily upon the sweat soaked mattress, staring up into 
the darkness. He lay thusly for only a matter of seconds 
before rising, and moving as quickly as possible without 
waking the others, he wended his way out from his room, 
and along the darkened corridors, until he came to the 
hall-where-I-keep-my-throne.
    He stole into the hall, and with a single snap of his 
fingers caused all of the candles therein to be lighted, 
as, without breaking his stride, he moved unerringly to 
the precise center of the floor. There, he walked once, 
twice, thrice in a circle, speaking in a low monotone 
words of power from a lost language. He moved his arms in 
slow flowing rhythms, his gestures seeming to set the very 
air to churning in their wake... until the wave broke, and 
the air itself tore asunder, splitting open the length and 
breadth of the hall! 
   Light poured from the rift, illuminating the druid and 
turning him to not more than a silhouette against a 
background of pure white. The monk continued to chant and 
gesticulate, as a raging wind arose, tearing outward from 
the portal itself! His robes rippled and snapped like a 
banner in a violent storm, while within the blinding light 
of the rift... something moved!
    The monk stared, then began chanting in earnest, 
summoning the thing forth. It gained speed, moving faster 
and getting larger with each passing second, until with a 
sound like a cannon blast, the figure was hurled from the 
void onto the floor of the hall, and with a noise akin to 
rolling thunder the rift folded in upon itself, curling 
away into oblivion.
    James took a moment to restore his hood, which had 
fallen away in the wind, and then bent, (no pun intended,) 
to check the stunned form of the Viking warrior where he 
lay upon the cold stone. His breathing was normal, if not 
a little deep, but he was otherwise in prime condition. 
The monk smiled, and leaving the warrior to sleep upon the 
floor of the hall, took his exit, making sure to douse the 
candles with one sweep of his arm as he went.
    No sooner had James made himself comfortable back in 
his quarters, then an explosion rocked the walls of MY 
CASTLE, and a commotion arose from out in the hallway, as 
the guests and master roused themselves from sleep and 
stumbled out into a warzone!



  		CHAPTER 14:


THE WORLD ABOVE:
    It was fairly early when CHRIS worked his way out form 
under the table, (which goes to show you that he was 
already out of sorts,) and spied DAN and the Baroness, 
sitting by the computer watching some sort of digitized 
movie with their  heavy lidded eyes.
    "Have you guys been up all night?" he asked.
    They both gasped and spun about, eyes wide, all traces 
of fatigue disappearing, before DAN stuttered a reply.
    "C-CHRIS! Ummm, we, Ah, we weren't doing anything 
really. You know... just playing with the ol' computer." 
DAN smiled, and made an unconvincing attempt at a laugh, 
while carefully blocking the computer screen with his 
body. 
     Sounds of gunfire and war drifted from the speaker to 
CHRIS' ears, prompting him to lean sideways, trying to get 
a glimpse at what they were watching, but the Baroness 
moved in to block his gaze.
     "Did you sleep well?" She asked politely.
     "Uh, yeah. Thanks for asking." Then it occurred to 
him, "Hey, where's MEL?"
     DAN made a coughing sputter, and the Baroness clapped 
him on the back.
     "I don't know... wasn't she with you?" She asked, the 
very picture of innocence.
     "Not that I recall...wait a minute," CHRIS' eyes grew 
to contain the sudden flood of memory, and DAN and the 
Baroness froze, "You guys were reprogramming her! what did 
you do?!" He stepped hurriedly towards them.
     "Wait, CHRIS, before you get mad, remember... you 
took a whole world from me, I didn't just..." DAN tried to 
justify, but was cut off as CHRIS brushed him aside in 
order to get a better look at what was running itself 
across the face of the computer's monitor.
     "It's...Ah, it's a live video feed," The Baroness 
answered CHRIS' stare of uncomprehending horror, "We were 
able to patch her through the computer just before she 
took off... We still don't know exactly what went wrong... 
but this is the result."
     CHRIS stared at the monitor a moment longer before 
turning away, sick to his stomach, all he could manage was 
to mutter softly under his breath.
     "My god..."

    THE UNDERWORLD:
    Bodies lay strewn throughout the halls of MY CASTLE, 
blood colored the stone a vivid red, and the sounds of 
screams echoed around every corner. Doors of solid oak 
were splintered asunder, highly trained soldiers met their 
deaths by tens, and the Doomon king could do naught but 
follow in the monster's wake, trying to catch it up before 
he had no longer an army to lead.
   "My liege!" Called Chris-the-electrician, where he came 
running from out behind the throne, "Thank the stars 
you've arrived! My magic’s could not find their  way to 
this... this... THING, It is protected! driven by a power 
greater than my own, It rampaged through here, plowing 
through a dozen of your Doomons as though they were naught 
but paper!" He bawled, clawing at Dooly's breast, then 
turned to indicate a large bearded man where he lay prone 
against the far wall, "That warrior, I know not from 
whence he has come, but he defended your castle with 
vigor and strength! He held the hideous beast at bay for 
a whole ten minutes while others were simply trampled 
under it's feet! surely he saved my life by providing me 
time to hide, I need must stay here and heal him, to 
return the favor, while you hunt the monster!"
    "Ur.. of course." Said the Doomon lord bravely, "What 
about Rob, or the Widower? where are they?" 
    "No help there I'm afraid, M'lord," Answered Chris, "I 
haven't laid eyes to them since last night."
    "Oh." The Doomon lord chewed at his lower lip, 
"Well... what about the druid?"
    "The Mad Monk, lord?" Chris looked disgusted, "As far 
as I know he still sleeps! No, it must be you! Go forth 
and do battle, we, your humble servants, applaud your 
tremendous bravery! GO!"
    "..." Dooly still hesitated, eyeing the twenty-odd 
bodies which littered the floor of the hall-where-I-keep-
my-throne, "You didn't happen to see my gun while you were 
behind the throne did you?"
    "I did not, lord, but I am sure that one such as you 
shall have no need of it! Now GO! And may luck go with 
you!" Chris stood directly before the Doomon king, waving 
him off to battle as though he were already a mile 
distant.
    Dooly turned and followed the trail of blood and gore 
which streaked the halls of his castle, moving ever closer 
to the sounds of gunfire and calamity, but never quite 
catching up, until finally, close on twenty minutes later, 
he came full circle, walking back into his throne room.
    Chris-the-electrician cowered against a blood soaked 
wall, hiding half-behind the body of a fallen Doomon, 
while within the hall proper... Doomons were being 
slaughtered in twenties!
    The creature had the body of a female, with once blond 
hair tied into pig-tails at the sides of her head, she 
wore what may have at one time been a pink dress with 
white frills, but she was now something from a madman's 
most horrific dream.
    Her face was contorted with rage as she used a bare 
arm to spear a Doomon soldier through the chest, Dooly 
could see that this was a favored tactic as her arms were 
colored with blood all the way to the elbows. Her dress 
was stained a uniform red, (no prizes awarded for guessing 
what had caused this,) her hair was plastered to her scalp 
with the reddish muck and contained bits of unidentifiable 
debris, while sections of her very skin had been torn open 
to reveal ports from which extended mechanical leads that 
terminated in a deadly array of weapons: Shotguns, lasers, 
automatic rifles, all protruded from her frame, and blazed 
away merrily at all who dared to approach her.
     But, the noise that sickened the Doomon king the 
most, the one that was a constant accompaniment to the 
roar of the guns, and the screams of death, was the 
hideous girlish laughter which underlay it all.
     A movement close to his right made the Doomon lord 
start, and turn quickly, to observe the Lunatic and 
Widower coming up the corridor towards him, he breathed a 
sigh of relief and raised a finger to his lips to warn 
them against speaking.
     The Lunatic nodded assent, and spoke low, and close 
to his ear.
     "We have observed this monster from afar," he said, 
"but were powerless to do anything, we knew that we could 
not beat it. It's body is impervious to all attacks your 
soldiers have made, and even the sage's magic’s have not 
been of use, we are at a loss..."
     "I understand..." Dooly nodded, and acting before 
completely contriving a plan, (as was his want,) he 
addressed the Lunatic and Widower together, "Quickly, 
follow me to the throne, and gather up the sage on our 
way!"
     And before they could protest he turned and walked 
into the room. Blindly, they followed, stopping only once, 
and that was to take hold of the sage and drag him, 
screaming protests, to the throne.
     A Doomon's head exploded in a spray of crimson, as 
another spasmed while multiple wounds traced a path across 
his chest, and that was the finish of them all. 
MEL looked up to see the last of her quarry gathered all 
together about the throne, the Doomon king seated, and 
staring straight at her. Her sensors showed her his fear, 
accelerated heart rate, increased respiration, extensive 
moisture production, but when he spoke his voice was calm.
    "You come to this place uninvited, why?" he asked.
    "I want to play with you, *tee-hee* you're all so fun 
and oowey-goowey!" She laughed through a mouth painted red 
with blood, and approached the throne.
    "You wish to kill me?"  the Doomon lord queried.
    "Umm-hmmm!" Smiled the girl.
    "Will you do me the courtesy of answering one last 
question, after this one I mean, before you do?" He asked, 
letting his fear show just slightly... she savored it's 
taste.
     "Ummm-hmmm." She hummed softly, placing her face 
directly in front of his. And as he looked into those 
cold, dead eyes, seven weapons swiveled at the ends of 
their stalks to take aim on his head.
     "W-what happens when an unstoppable force meets an 
immovable object?" stuttered Dooly... and the android 
froze.
     They all waited a second, then another, and finally 
The Doomon king leaned back in his throne. The robot still 
did not stir, no gun moved to follow him, and everyone let 
out their breath together, not realizing they had ever 
been holding it.
     "What happened to her?" Asked the blood soaked sage, 
stepping forward to get a closer look at the thing.
     "Well," Answered Dooly, wiping the sweat from his 
brow, "She's obviously a robot, and therefore driven by an 
artificial intelligence, I took a chance that an 
unsolvable logic puzzle would tie up her resources in an 
effort to find the solution, and I was right."
     "Very smart, Doomon lord," Responded Rob, "I applaud 
you."
     "Yes," agreed the Widower, "But, what gave you the 
idea?"
     "An experiment from the middle world," Said Dooly, 
"Where scientists had developed the first functional A.I. 
Apparently one of the janitors for the research facility 
where it was housed killed it by asking it that very 
question... of course, that was the SECOND question he 
asked it."
     "What was the first?" Asked Chris-the-sage.
     "Is there a god?" Said the Doomon lord, rising from 
his throne and edging away from the comatose death-
machine.
     "Well?!" Asked the Lunatic impatiently.
     "What did it say?" Queried the Widower. 
     And they all stared, But Dooly just smirked, his eyes 
shining... and walked out from the hall, stepping across 
blood and bodies alike on his way.

     THE WORLD ABOVE:
     DAN, CHRIS, and the Baroness, all stared at the 
computer screen, which showed only the headrest of the 
Doomon lord's throne, and had shown only that for the past 
twenty minutes, but they stared nonetheless.
     "I can't believe it." Mumbled the baroness, "They 
actually stopped her."
     Her voice seemed to penetrate the trance which had 
held them rapt to the image, and DAN stood, walking to the 
far window.
     "At least she took out Dooly's army." He said, 
looking out the window, and quickly turning to face back 
into the room.
     "At LEAST?!" Shouted CHRIS, "DAN you killed my 
advisor, and even though she took out your opponent's 
ENTIRE army, all you say is THAT!"
     "Your point?" Asked DAN, showing no emotion.
     "SHE WON YOUR FREAKING WAR!" shouted CHRIS, "Your 
adversary has been taken out of the equation and you act 
like... like... like your still even!"
     DAN exchanged a look with the Baroness, and then 
nodded his head over his shoulder at the window. CHRIS 
came forward to look, and his jaw dropped.
    "You're a really heavy sleeper, CHRIS." DAN muttered.
    The field bordering AMHERST was awash with blood, the 
bodies of hundreds of Dangels lay twisted and broken 
across the vast expanse, here and there CHRIS could see 
only disembodied limbs, so many that he was sure there 
weren't bodies enough to have supplied them all, and a 
single trail of bloody footprints led away from the 
unhinged gates of the castle towards the portals of worlds 
beyond.



		CHAPTER 15:


THE UNDERWORLD:
    Dooly had gone directly back to his quarters after the 
ordeal with the MEL robot, in order to shower and dress 
for the day, but when he emerged into the hallways of MY 
CASTLE, he found them completely clean. Not a trace nor 
drop of blood anywhere. He puzzled, and as he made his way 
down the corridor he purposely searched for his sage.
    Chris-the-electrician was in the hall-where-I-keep-my-
dinette-set, having an appetizing looking egg and bacon 
sandwich to break his fast, when Dooly found him.
    "Sage," He addressed him, "Did you clear my halls of 
the dead? for I suspect that none of us, save you, could 
have accomplished it so quickly or so thoroughly."
   "Yeah, mah dib whit.." Mumbled the sage around his 
sandwich.
    Dooly slapped it away and it struck the floor with a 
wet smack, the sage reached to recover it, but the Doomon 
lord grabbed his ear to hold him in place.
    "You were saying?" He hissed.
    "Ah, geez, if I wanted this sort of treatment I would 
have stayed at home! Hell, yeah I did it! I summoned a 
flesh eating mist that worked it's way through the halls 
devouring instantly any organic materials it touched, 
pretty neat Huh?"
    "Doubtless you have long since dismissed this horrible 
creature of which you speak, now that myself and my guests 
are up and about, correct?"
    Chris gave a sidelong glance at the far wall, and 
broke out in a sweat. Quickly he scrambled to his feet, 
and, ignoring his sandwich, ran out into the hallway 
calling with a loud voice.
   "Here misty, misty, misty! Here misty, misty!"
   Dooly shook his head and sat down to eat.

   THE UPPERWORLD:
   DAN was fast asleep, as was the Baroness, (albeit in 
her own quarters thank-you-very-much,) but CHRIS, (who had 
slept well the previous night,) was wide awake and 
contemplating their situation, which was, in essence, 
this: They were in the same situation which they had been 
in before, except not on as grand a scale.
    They needed an advantage, but... what?
    The thought struck him like lightning, and he slammed 
his fist into the palm of his hand for emphasis, as he 
jumped from his seat in a mad rush to wake the others.
    "CHRIS, you suck." Muttered DAN through his pillow, 
(Because he's been muttering a lot over the past couple 
chapters. Hey, you'd mutter too if all this stuff was 
happening in YOUR life!)
    "I don't SUCK," CHRIS laughed, "I'm going to save us 
all!"
    "Okay, wake me when it's over." Muttered DAN, and 
rolled back over. CHRIS laid a hand on his shoulder and 
pushed so that DAN kept rolling right off the far side of 
the bed. A moment passed in silence, then DAN's head 
popped up over the edge of the bed, and spoke.
    "You die."

    THE UNDERWORLD:
    Dooly had been joined at the table by Lunatic 
Moonstone, and the Widower, who sat close to one another 
and made eyes at each other. It made the Doomon lord 
rather ill, and he wished he hadn't eaten three 
sandwiches. But before his breakfast could come back for a 
rematch, the sage arrived to distract him from the 
horrifying sight.
    "Lord Dooly, the creature has been dispatched." Spoke 
the Sage upon his entrance.
    "Ah good, now I won't have to fear losing the few 
allies I have left." Then, surveying the table he added, 
"Speaking of which, where is your druid, Lord Lunatic?"
    "Um... He usually sleeps through the day." Growled 
Rob, upset at having to draw his gaze away from the 
Spider-spirit.
    Chris and Dooly once again exchanged looks of disgust 
to express their feelings about the useless mage. But, the 
topic changed rather quickly when he entered the room two 
seconds later. Scratching at his head through the hood 
which covered it, and mumbling something about bears made 
from gelatin.
    "O' HO!" Cried Rob, "What's this? Do mine retinal orbs 
deceive me, Why have you chosen to grace us with your 
presence so early today, my mage?"
    "I had a bad dream." Said the mage simply, and sat 
down to eat.
    Chris turned back to address Dooly with a topic which 
had occurred to him as he tracked the mist beast.
    "My Lord," he began, "you will of course recall the 
red bearded warrior who came to my aid last evening, 
well..."
    "No, not really." Replied Dooly, thinking very hard, 
"Red hair you say? No, I don't recall having any red 
headed warriors around the place."
    "Well, regardless, Lord, he was..."
    "In fact, If he wasn't a Doomon, and by the sound of 
him he wasn't, I don't know what he should have been doing 
here at all."
    "But, Sire, He apparently..."
    "I once had a Guinea pig that used to wander about 
down here, but I don't recall him having a beard..."
    "OH, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE JUST LET ME FINISH!" Shouted 
Chris.
    "..." Dooly stared for a moment, "Okay, sure."
    "Well, Lord, he was a fine warrior, and had done me a 
good turn, but unfortunately was killed by that mechanical 
creature, so with your permission, I would like to invite 
him to join our cause."
    "He died did you say?" Asked the Lunatic.
    "Yes, I tried to heal him, but he was beyond the reach 
of my powers to save, I held him in my arms, and heard him 
utter his final words: 'I coulda' been a confectioner...'"
     Dooly hid his face in his hand and tried not to cry, 
while the Widower clucked her tongue, and rob just gawked. 
James, on the other hand, laughed at the bad play on words 
until he fell out of his chair.
    "Chris," Asked Dooly in a soft voice, when he was sure 
he could talk to the man without hitting him, "How is he 
to join us if he's dead."
    "Well, this morning I performed a resurrection, but... 
I mean, it has been all night, and given the method in 
which he was killed, I wasn't fully successful."
    "Where is he?"
    "Right outside, I'll get him to come in." The sage 
cleared his throat and called loudly, "DAVE, COME IN 
HERE!" Then he stood and waited.
    From the hallway, came the sound of something wet 
dragging across the stone floor, then a dull thud, 
followed by another, and another still. The allies waited 
looking in the direction of the noise, but all they could 
hear was the repeated thudding.
    Chris started to look a little worried, then a thought 
occurred to him, and he cleared his throat for another 
yell.
    "DAVE," he called out, "OPEN THE DOOR, AND THEN COME 
INTO THE ROOM!"
    There was one last thud, which was Dooly's head 
striking the table, and then the door slid open and in 
shuffled the grotesque figure of a warrior.
    His shoulders slumped forward, and he half-shuffled, 
half-stumbled rather than walked, his face drooped 
slightly to the right, and his skin bore a subtle greenish 
tint. His beard was a patchwork of blood clotted tufts, 
while his hair was non-existent, having been torn from his 
head with the rest of his scalp. His body was a mass of 
seeping wounds, while he was missing one arm which had 
been shorn away at the elbow.
    The laughter of the Mad Monk increased tenfold, with 
the introduction of the semi-dead creature.
    "Awww, that's just beautiful," Said Dooly, "That's 
exactly what I wanted to see after breakfast, thank you 
VERY much, Chris, you've made a zombie we're all proud to 
have you aboard, now... go away, and take Conan the 
drooling idiot with you. Thanks."

   THE WORLD ABOVE:
   The Baroness was awakened by the sound of wrestling in 
the adjacent room, and, donning her leather armor, went 
to see what all the commotion was about. The door to DAN's 
main room opened to reveal he and CHRIS duking it out in a 
far corner, CHRIS' face was red with the effort he'd been 
exerting throughout the battle, while DAN was looking a 
little on the green side.
    "I don't fucking BELIEVE you guys!" she raged, "I've 
only been asleep for two hours, what is your PROBLEM!"
    The God's froze. And DAN was the first to squeeze out 
words, even though CHRIS held him by the windpipe.
    "Ummm... He did it."
    "WHAT?!" 
    And the two commenced to tussle once more. The 
Baroness sighed, and drawing her sword from it's sheath, 
laid to with great force, and strategic planning to stab 
only enough to get their attention.
    "OWW! MY ASS!" Cried CHRIS.
    "JESUS CHRIST! MY NUTS!" Howled DAN, almost 
simultaneously.
    "SHUT UP!" Commanded the Baroness, and as she stood 
over them, point of her sword gleaming in their faces, 
clad in her leather jerkin, she was the very image of a 
dominatrix, so of course they listened, "What is this all 
about, tell me now!"
    "Um," CHRIS um-ed, "I was waking DAN up to tell him I 
thought of a way we can win this war."
   "I'm not even going to waste my breath asking how you 
could possibly be fighting over that, instead I'll ask you 
what that way might be." A moment passed in silence, 
everyone staring at one another, waiting for the other to 
speak.
   "WELL!" Demanded the Baroness.
   "OH!" Said CHRIS, surprised, "I thought you meant that 
you were GOING to ask me!"
   "All right," The Baroness hissed through clenched 
teeth, "What way did you think of that we can win the war, 
CHRIS?"
   "Well, It occurred me that I have a fairy godmother who 
will grant me wishes if I ask her too!" The Baroness 
wanted to smite him, but she had never seen anyone smite 
someone else, so she wasn't clear on how one might go 
about it, and instead she just listened as CHRIS 
explained, "Well, she's not really my fairy godmother, 
strictly speaking. For one she's not a fairy... she's a 
goddess, and for another, she's not really MINE, but she 
said she'd watch out for me, because in my younger days I 
had saved a cow from being hit by a train, and she just 
appeared and said that because I was a friend of cows she 
would help me and all I had to do was call her, and she 
would find me, but I forgot about it, or rather, I wasn't 
really sure that it had actually happened, because I 
hadn't had a lot of sleep for a few days, and well... you 
know how I get, but she told me that..."
    "ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH! JUST CALL THE BITCH!" Shouted the 
Baroness.
    "Okay, you don't have to yell." CHRIS mumbled, and set 
about summoning the cow goddess.

    TOON IN TO THE UNDERWORLD NEXT TIME, WHEN YOU'LL HEAR 
DOOLY SAY:
    "That's just silly."



		CHAPTER 16:


DAN and the Baroness watched CHRIS intently as he went 
about the bizarre ritual of summoning the cow Goddess.
    "O' Bovine mistress," He called, kneeling and waving 
his arms, "I summon you forth with the names by which you 
are frequently to seldom known, heed my call and come to 
my aid as you have promised! I call you now, Martha/ 
Christine/ Marthene/ Chris/ Countessa Loiusa Angelina 
Francesca Banana-Fana-Fo-Fesca the 3rd!" (Geez, She's got 
more names than my cat!)
    The Lights dimmed and a low, moaning wind swept into 
the room... though no portals lay open. A sound at once 
eerie, yet comforting, arose from everywhere and nowhere, 
while a form began to coalesce from the very air at the 
center of the room.
Moooooooooooo... The sound continued, deep, monotonous, 
and soothing...Mooooooooo... The form grew, gaining in 
form and feature.... Mooooooooo... the hearts of all who 
witnessed knew no fear, but felt a numb willingness to 
graze... Mooooooooo!
   And there she stood.
   She was tall, and possessed of a slender grace of 
feature. Her hair shown in a bright cascade, where it 
tumbled from off her shoulders, and try as they might 
those who saw her could not make out what color it was, 
for it seemed to shimmer and change with every glance. She 
wore a dress adorned with happy seeming cartoon cattle, in 
her ears were small cow-shaped diamond studs, and in her 
right hand she held a chocolate cow tail, wielding it as 
though it were a wand.
   "Yes?" She asked, and her voice was a soothing moo... 
No wait, that could be misinterpreted, Hmmm...AH!... Her 
voice was the low tinkling of cow bells heard in a distant 
field at the peak of summer.
   "OH!" CHRIS looked up in shock, "Cow Goddess, you 
came!"
   "CHRIS, you called." She answered, with a wry smile.
   "Yeah, yeah I did... We need help, my advisor killed 
all our soldiers, and we're about to be attacked by a team 
of demi-gods from the underworld!"
   "Well," She thought aloud, arms crossed, tapping her 
chin lightly with the end of the cow tail, "It sounds like 
you have a problem. What do you want me to do?"
   "Could you get rid of all the blood and dead Dangels on 
the lawn?" Asked DAN sarcastically.
   "Very well," She snapped a bite of the cow tail, 
chewed, and spat on the floor, "It's done!"
   "Hey!" Shouted CHRIS, "These are MY wishes, back off!"
   "Why did you spit on my floor?" Asked DAN with a raised 
eyebrow.
   "I don't like cow tails." Answered the Goddess.
   "Then why did you EAT it?!" Queried DAN.
   "Because it's part of the ritual of wish granting." 
Responded the Goddess.
   "Oh," Oh-ed DAN, and nodded, "...continue." 
   "Can I make the next wish please?" Asked CHRIS, rather 
perturbed that he had summoned the Goddess but was earning 
none of the attention.
   "Go ahead, I'm not stopping you." Answered the Goddess 
of all things bovine.
   "I wish this whole thing with DAN and myself, and Rob 
and Dooly, and everything else would just be resolved!" 
Sighed CHRIS.
   The Cow Goddess, bit, chewed, spat...
    "Hey, watch the shoes!" Cried DAN.
    ... and finally spoke.
   "Your wish is granted, this whole thing WILL be 
resolved." And so saying, she disappeared in a cloud of 
cow scented smoke. (eewwwww.)
    CHRIS clenched his teeth, his brows furrowed, and 
whined after her.
    "But... I didn't mean it THAT way."
    "Way to go CHRIS." Said DAN, moving to look out the 
window, "Well, at least the lawn's clean, and the ga..."
     His words trailed away into a blank silence that drew 
the attention of both CHRIS and the Baroness, to where he 
stood, staring out the window with a look of utter 
surprise dominating his features.
    "What's the matter?" Asked the Baroness, startled.
    "OH SHIT..." Said DAN, in a false British accent, 
"They're here!"



		CHAPTER 17:


The last the Doomon lord had known, he was sitting at the 
breakfast table with his guests, enjoying a fine meal, 
when in walked the sage with his pet zombie and ruined 
everything. 
   Now Dooly, The Widower, The Lord Lunatic, James the Mad 
Monk, Chris-the-electrician, and Dave the zombie, found 
themselves in the open air, standing in a field just 
before the gates of AMHERST. 
   Dooly spun about rapidly, staring in every direction, 
trying desperately to determine the cause of their sudden 
telelocation. Finally, finding that he could not come by 
the answer on his own, he spoke aloud to his companions.
   "What has become of us?" He called.
   "I...I know not M'lord!" Stuttered the Sage.
   "I sense the work of a kindred animal spirit," Hissed 
the Widower, clicking her long nails together, "Though not 
one of the more subtle creatures, I assure you."
   "Whoever this malevolent spirit be, they have brought 
me strait to the door of my foe! We are defenseless should 
his Dangels come upon us unawares!" Raged the Doomon king, 
unawares of the slaughter of his foe's army prior to the 
loss of his own.
   "Fear not, Dooly," Spoke the Sage, recovering quickly, 
"I shall conjure a portal to extricate us..."
    "No!" Interrupted the Widower, swinging an arm wide to 
sweep the sage from his feet, "You have become ensnared in 
the web, Lord of Nothing! Your Doomons are all destroyed, 
and my spider kith tell me of the many slain here as well! 
You "God's" are helpless prey!"
    The Lunatic stepped up to stand beside the traitorous 
Spider Queen, smiling a feral smile.
    "I truly regret having to kill you along with your 
foe," He snarled, "We are so much alike... but, my Queen 
and I shall be ruling both of these lands from this time 
forward!"
    The Mad Monk placed himself to the rear of his master, 
and a smirk glinted from the shadowy depths of his hood as 
the Moonstone delivered his speech.
    "Sage! To me!" Dooly called, then added as an 
afterthought, "And bring that creature with you!"
    When the Doomon king And his two faithful allies stood 
facing the three traitors across the backdrop of AMHERST 
gate, Dooly Addressed them directly.
    "I did not have you when first I fought this battle 
long and long ago, I do NOT need you now," As he spoke he 
grasped the plastic monkey which hung at his throat, "You  
have betrayed me in my endeavors, and sought to steal what 
is not yours..."
    "Do you do any less?" Spat the Widower.
    "For this crime," Continued Dooly, ignoring the 
slight, "I cast you back to the realms from which you 
came!"
    He tore the charm from the blue yarn which had kept it 
about his neck, and hurled it into the midst of the small 
group. Light and heat erupted from the piece before it 
even struck the ground. A blinding flash expanded to 
engulf the trio, which hissed and growled their rage, 
clawing desperately to escape the blast. The opposite 
three shielded their faces as best they could to avoid 
being struck sightless by the sheer intensity of the 
magical light, but when the smoke dissipated, and the 
light was not more than that of a normal morning, They 
looked up to see the betrayers standing just as they had 
before, with no mark left to tell of the charm's passing.
    Everyone gawked, those on the one side amazed that 
they had not been banished, and those on the other amazed 
that those on the first had not been banished as well. 
Until, as one, every head swiveled to face the Sage.
    "... Whoops." He breathed, and shrugged his shoulders 
in a gesture of defeat.
    "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn!" Called a voice from 
the door into AMHERST, and Chris was grateful to have the 
attention drawn away from him as everyone turned to see 
DAN, CHRIS, and The Baroness, converging on them from the 
direction of the castle.
    "Let me guess." Said CHRIS,  indicating Dooly's group 
with the point of a finger, "You three are the ones coming 
to take over DAN's position as God, but you don't have an 
army because a psychotic bitch in a pink dress killed them 
all. Right?"
    "That is correct, sir." Answered Dooly, eyeing the man 
carefully, then turning to glare at DAN, (who stuck out 
his tongue in return.)
    "And YOU three," He said, indicating the other group, 
"Are here to kill everybody else so that you can have all 
the land, all the titles, supreme rule of the universe, 
and all that jazz... Now, I KNOW you, Rob, AND your silly 
mage," James Glowered, "And I'm sure that this hiding-in-
the-enemy-ranks-till-it's-safe-to-strike shtick wasn't 
your idea, so it must have been you who won his 
allegiance. Right?"
   "Correct." Hissed the Widower. 
   "Your a regular perry mason." Said Dooly, 
sarcastically, "Tell us something we don't know."
   "Right, okay, DAN's Dangels were killed by the 
rampaging robot as well, I'm CHRIS, DAN's mirror image 
from..."
   "Yes, yes, yes..." Interrupted DAN, "CHRIS, we all KNOW 
this! I mean, C'mon You can see he was teamed with your 
nemesis, and vice-versa, we're all acquainted here! Hi, 
how do you do, nice to see you again, gee that's a great 
coat, THERE! You see? So can we please get to your point?! 
Please?"
    "Well," Said CHRIS, "I didn't really have a point, I 
was just trying to get it all straight in my head...Now 
what?"
    The wind whistled through the treetops, bringing a 
slight chill to the air. All across the upper world no 
creature stirred nor made a sound. The three clusters of 
three, loosely arranged in a triangle, watched one another 
across the vast barrier of silence each wondering to 
themselves, 'what next' indeed?



		CHAPTER 18:


"Well?" Questioned DAN, "It's not a war that I started, 
but I intend to defend my position, as well as my person, 
from any attack. So, what will you do?"
    His eyes shifted from Dooly, to the Widower, and back 
again as he awaited an answer. 
    And the answer came, but not from either party he had 
addressed. Instead it came in the form of a rumbling that 
shook the ground upon which they stood, a quaking of the 
earth caused by a force other than those powers possessed 
by the ones here gathered. 
    "What's going on?!" Shouted The Sage as he lost his 
footing.
    "There's something amiss in the middle world!" Yelled 
DAN, in order to be heard over the rising commotion. He 
moved his hand in a slashing gesture, and immediately a 
view portal opened onto the world below, a portal that 
revealed a calamity most severe!
    "It can't be..." Muttered Dooly, coming up next to DAN 
to glimpse the sight over his shoulder.
    "I'm afraid it is...I... I can't understand why, or 
HOW... but it is!" Answered the God, in a voice so low 
that only the Doomon lord perceived it.
    Slowly the members of each faction made their way into 
a group, and clustered around the view portal to take in 
the catastrophe which played itself across the area of 
it's surface.
     In the middle world a city lay in the monstrous grip 
of death. Thousands perished in atomic fire, hundreds were 
trampled in the mad rush to try and flee a thing which 
could not be escaped, and still more were crushed by the 
toppling edifices which they had constructed to shield 
themselves.
    Trains were derailed, and hundreds of commuters found 
their trips terminated in a bloody amputation of tracks. 
Eighteen wheeled trucks were tossed about like toys by the 
sheer force of the assault, and suspension bridges, built 
of the toughest materials, meant to support thousands of 
tons, were shorn through as though they were naught but 
paper mache' models.
    And over all the sounds of mass destruction; the crack 
of stone, the scream of twisted, tortured metal, the calls 
of the dying, rose a monstrous, incessant roar... 
Somewhere, a lone person raised a finger to point, and 
yelled in a voice fraught with terror.
    "Godzilla!"
    
    "I thought he was pretend?" Said James the Mad Monk.
    "Somebody should tell HIM that." Answered DAN.
    "Yeah, go for it, James." Offered Dooly.
    "No, but seriously," Said CHRIS, "We need to DO 
something about this!"
    "He's right," Suggested the Widower helpfully, "If we 
don't set aside our differences for the time being, and 
try to stop that thing, there won't be any world left to 
play God FOR!"
    "AHA!" Cried the Baroness, "The ol' Marvel team-up 
ending! We fight for half the series, then team up at the 
end to save the universe from a common foe! This'll be 
great!"
    "Um, yeah, sure," Rob humored the obviously demented 
girl, "Why don't you lay down for a minute, dear, the 
shock of such destruction must have addled your brains."
    "Addled nothing!" Shouted Dooly, "I say we do it! That 
big lizard is about to destroy everything we've ALL been 
fighting for, and without THAT we're finished!"
    "OH YEAH!" Shouted Chris-the-electrician, "Let's kick 
some tail, literally!"
    "Right." Agreed CHRIS, "But, we're gonna' need 
everybody we can get... I'll summon the cow goddess 
back..."
    "And I’ll get your killer robot back on line." 
Interrupted Dooly, then, turning to the Sage, "Chris, take 
a portal back to MY CASTLE, the robot broad should still 
be in the hall-where-I-keep-my-throne, use your magic to 
alter her program, then simply tell her that there's no 
such thing as an unstoppable force, or an immovable 
object, and even theoretically if one existed then the 
other could not! Tell her that EXACTLY, and she should be 
released from the hold of the puzzle."
    "You can count on me!" The Sage answered smartly, and 
snapped to attention, bringing his right hand up in a 
formal salute, before turning to go.
    "And when your finished... bring her straight to the 
middle world, we'll meet you there." Dooly called after 
him, and the sage answered with a thumbs-up over his 
shoulder.
    "You expect us to go fight that thing now?" Asked the 
Baroness.
    "No, he's right." Affirmed DAN, "We have to try and 
contain it until the others can arrive."
    "Yes, there's enough power amongst us to do that 
much... I hope." Speculated the Lunatic.
    "I... I do not LIKE lizards." Shuddered the Widower, 
and the Lunatic offered his arm to console her.
    "Um... Yeah, whatever. Let's do this" Said the Doomon 
lord, and moved his arm in a quick slash, similar to the 
movement DAN had made earlier, except aimed toward the 
view portal. It split, and a part of it seemed to shatter, 
while the rest remained in place, though somewhat changed. 
The picture was more vivid, and represented in three 
dimensions, the sound had multiplied tenfold, and the heat 
of the battle drifted out from beyond on a current of 
torrid air.
    The Doomon lord walked to the portal, and poked his 
head through, turning to look here and there as the breeze 
tousled his dark hair, finally he withdrew and bowed 
aside, speaking. 
    "Ladies first." He smiled.
    "Fuck you!" Said the Baroness instantly, but the 
Widower just strode forward, instinctively sensing the 
need for her singular talents.
    She walked to the very edge and, looking in, saw no 
more than she had expected to. It was at least a hundred 
feet strait down to the ground below the portal. She 
smiled and moved her hands with a sinuous flowing 
adroitness, and, within seconds, had constructed a web-
ladder that reached all the way down. 
    "She's very talented." DAN whispered to Dooly from the 
corner of his mouth.
    "Yes, just don't mention FOOD." Rejoined the Doomon 
king, his voice equally low.
    The Widower stepped out onto the ladder, passing one 
leg at a time through the portal, knowing full well that 
none would have trusted her work had she not gone first, 
and began to descend. She was followed almost immediately by 
James, then DAN, The Baroness, The Lunatic, and Dooly 
bringing up the rear. 
    Though as the King of Doomons started through, he 
paused long enough to call out to the one person left 
standing in the field.
    "Get a wiggle on, Dave, You're gonna' miss all the 
action!" He shouted, and began to lower himself down, one 
rung at a time. Although, he wasn't too surprised when a 
moment later he heard a grunt from above, and looked just 
in time to see the body of the ex-Viking fall past him. He 
Shook his head, laughed, and called out.
    "SLOW DOWN, DAVE! YOU'RE TOO AGGRESSIVE, AT THAT RATE 
YOU'LL GET THERE BEFORE ANY OF US!" Then, to himself, 
"Kids these days."



		CHAPTER 19:


The city reached out to greet it's strange would-be 
rescuers with fire and death. Here a woman lay impaled on 
a streetlight, there a man with no head poured over the 
morning paper, literally. The street was an unending 
gallery of death in it's many forms, and it stretched away 
to the horizon with no visible starting point and no 
definitive finish.
    DAN gagged, and Dooly stared at him.
    "You should get out more often "God" perhaps a few 
trips to town every now and then would help you understand 
the way the world turns nowadays."
    "Up yours." He sputtered.
    Somewhere off to the left, one of the bodies moved. 
The seven heroes, (for such they styled themselves now, 
defined by their actions if not their motives,) turned as 
one unit to face the direction of the movement, and 
watched in increasing disgust as they came to realize what 
it was.
    Dave the zombie Viking, struggled to drag his half-a-
head out from the garbage can in which he had landed, and, 
failing miserably, settled for righting himself. There he 
now stood looking somewhat shorter than he had previously, 
with a garbage can concealing his upper region, his bones 
grinding with every swaggering step he took, and 
amazingly, he still gripped his sword in the one hand he 
possessed. The Group relaxed, and Dooly summoned him 
forward.
    "What are you doin', Dave? Trying to impress the 
ladies Huh?" He laughed, and tried to lift the can from 
off his torso, having just as much success, "Wow, you're 
really stuck in there aintcha', all right. There's a new 
look for you then, and armor to boot!"
    "My patience for witty repartee is at an end." 
Protested the Widower, and marched off down the stained 
pavement towards where the carnage was being wreaked, 
ignoring the fear which clutched greedily at her stomach.
    "There's always room for good repartee!" Shouted the 
Doomon lord.
    "Which is why we want YOU to shut up." Answered the 
Baroness, moving to follow the Spider-spirit.
    "Hey, I'm sorry okay. It's how I deal with high stress 
situations." Responded Dooly, then taking the zombie by 
the elbow, trailed after the others, following in their 
wake.

    The Seven moved through gore plastered, burning, 
smashed, but otherwise empty streets, slowly gaining on 
the towering behemoth which was eating the city piece by 
piece. Needless to say their spirits were low, but still 
two of them sang aloud, (If one could call the grating 
wheeze which arose from within the zombie's trash can 
singing.)
    "Three hundred and fifty four bottles of beer on the 
wall! Three hundred and fifty four bottles of beer! take 
one down pass it around, Three hundred and fifty two 
bottles of beer on the wall!" Sang the Doomon king, until 
the grating from the trash can which he held his arm 
around changed in pitch.
    "What?!" He stopped, directing a question at the 
scraped and pitted surface of the can.
    "Rrrmmphhgglll-grumphh hurrmmlll frroffffth..." It 
grated.
    "Three hundred and fifty three?!"
    "Rrremphh..."
    "Oh... all right, start over." Dooly conceded, and 
began anew, "One thousand bottles of beer on the wall! one 
thousand bottles of beer! take one down..."
    "I want to kill him." The Widower muttered.
    "You can't." Answered DAN, wheezing, (after all, they 
had been walking for over an hour, "only I can... attempt 
to... kill him."
    "I shall be happy to exhaust myself trying." Answered 
the Spider-spirit.
    "Oh, be of good cheer, maiden!" Smiled the druid, 
"Tis' always nice to have traveling music, and beside, 
this is but the third time he hath began the verse fresh!"
    "Really?" Asked the Baroness from beside him, "Now I 
want to kill him too."
    "Well, YOU can't either..." Responded DAN.
    And so their journey continued merrily along it's 
way...



		CHAPTER 20:


"Is that what I think it is?" Asked DAN as he rounded the 
building's side, and came up against the barrier.
    "WOW!" Ejaculated the Lunatic, crinkling his sensitive 
nose at the overpowering stench, "He never did THAT in the 
movies!"
    "I don't know about you boys, but I intend to take a 
different street." Said the Baroness, eyeing the road with 
all too apparent disgust.
    "If we go to the next road, then cross over, we'll 
emerge in front of the creature... which may not be the 
wisest course of action." Speculated the Druid.
    "Half of us could go this way, while the other half 
found a less... shall we say, polluted street." Offered 
Dooly.
    "I am capable of circumnavigating this obstacle by 
scaling the buildings around it," Suggested the Widower, 
"And my strength will allow me to carry one other with 
me."
    Rob moved close to the spider queen, making puppy eyes 
up at her.
    "Well, I guess we know who that 'one' will be." Said 
DAN.
    "Yeah," Dooly Responded, then added, "and Dave can go 
with you two... he won't care what he's walking through."
    "Okay then, It's settled." Stated the Lunatic, "We'll 
split up and try to box him in on the adjacent street."
    "Right, let's go." Finished the Baroness, and, craning 
her neck to look skyward, took in the view of the 
monster's giant head where it struck out from the scant 
line of buildings just a block distant, "... before he 
takes one more step and we need to track him for ANOTHER 
hour."
     
    The Widower had no trouble adhering to the sheer face 
of each glass and steel construct. Even with the bulk of 
the Lunatic, clinging to her back in fear, she moved 
quickly across the vertical surface, using her hands and 
feet to propel her onwards.
While below, the zombie trudged straight through the 
offensive roadblock, the consistency of which allowed him 
to pass though it clung to his clothes and sword, making a 
B-line for the monster which had spouted it.
    On the next street parallel the four others, began to 
discuss a stratagem as they moved between wrecked cars, 
and store fronts ablaze with fiery light.
    "I remember once, in one of the old 'Godzilla: king of 
the monsters comics,' where he had to go up against the 
Avengers," The Baroness was saying, "And what they did was 
to try and..."
    "Will you stop it with the silly comic book 
references!" Shouted DAN over his shoulder, "This is real 
life, and we are NOT the Avengers!" Then, more to himself 
than anyone who actually heard, "What we need is a good 
plan."
    "Well, wait a second..." Suggested James, "She may be 
onto at least one thing: the Avengers all had specific 
powers, and knew to what ends they could be combined 
effectively in a team effort. I suggest we take a cue from 
them, and start by analyzing what we've got to work with. 
Baroness, What are your powers and/or special abilities?"
    "Puhleeze, we've JUST met!" She Drawled.
    "Oh, cut the nonsense!" Dooly broke from his fourth 
chorus of ninety-nine bottles, to chastise the Baroness for 
joking around.
    "Look who's talking!" She shouted, then, "All right, I 
don't really have any quote, powers, end-quote, but I'm an 
expert fighter, and have reached peak human strength and 
agility through my skill and years of training."
    "Okay, good, that will present us with a good tactical 
springboard," Nodded the Monk, "What about you Dooly?"
    "You don't seem quite as mad as you did before." 
Questioned the Doomon lord, eyeing the so-called Mad Monk 
skeptically.
    "Trust me, I am. Otherwise I'd be panicking," He said, 
and drawing open his robes added, "and I'd also be wearing 
clothes." The Baroness gasped, DAN stared, and Dooly just 
shook his head.
    "All right, All right. Pack it up, big guy, no need to 
disturb the populace. Right, well, my powers are that I 
can only be hurt, or killed, by the one who created me, 
plus I have some minor magic’s, the usual stuff... little 
of this, little of that, you know how it is." Answered 
Dooly vaguely.
    "Indestructible! Good, that'll come in handy! we can 
use you to distract him!"
    "Hey, just a cotton pickin minute here!" Dooly 
protested, but the monk had already turned to question 
DAN.
    "And what about you?" He asked, eyebrows arched 
beneath his hood.
    "I'm God." Answered DAN.
    "Yes," Affirmed James, "But what can you DO?"
    The Doomon lord's ears perked and he picked up the 
pace of his walk, moving closer to hear more clearly his 
former nemesis' confession.
    "Well...I..." Began DAN, then stopped where he was, 
and pressed a hand to his chin in concentration, Dooly 
started to snort laughter, "I can, well I'm sure there's a 
lot of things I can do...Like...ummmm." DAN frowned, then 
tromped off down the street, calling over his shoulder.
    "Just because I can't think of them right now doesn't 
mean that I don't have any!"
    Dooly guffawed, pointing after the God and laughing, 
until finally DAN paused once again... and turned.
    "Oh, THAAAT'S right. I completely forgot," He smiled, 
and Dooly stopped laughing, "I can create whatever I want.  
I can make ANYTHING... or UNmake it!"
    "Just you try it, DAN!" Shouted the Doomon king, 
"You've gotta beat me first you rat-bastard, and you'll 
NEVER do THAT!"
    "Please, gentlemen, please," Spoke the monk 
soothingly, "Our differences are aside, we have a common 
goal, and needs dictate that we must endure one another's 
company to accomplish it. So, DAN you can create anything, 
good, very good... I don't suppose you could make me a ten 
foot ice cream sandwich?"
    "Yes," answered the God straight faced, "But do you 
REALLY want to BE a ten foot ice cream sandwich?"
    "No, but thanks for offering." Said the monk, "All 
right, my powers are to wield the forces of the universe 
and bend them to my will as I see fit."
    "You're mad." Uttered DAN, in a false British accent.
    "Exactly!" Answered the monk, and then commenced to 
laugh uncontrollably.
    "Well," Spoke the Doomon lord sarcastically, "THAT was 
a very helpful exercise."
    "Actually, it was." Spoke up the Baroness, from where 
she had stood in silence contemplating the information 
she'd learned, "I have a plan."
    ...And beneath his laughing exterior, the monk 
smirked, because he had known that she would.



		CHAPTER 21:


Chris-the-electrician emerged from a portal of 
teleportation directly in the path of the Widower, the 
Lunatic, and the zombie, where they were fast approaching 
the rear of the monster. From behind him came forth the 
MEL robot, caked with dried blood, and dotted with chunks 
of rotting flesh, but indefinitely more docile than the 
last time any of them had laid eyes upon her.
      "Hey guys!" He greeted them, then quietly added "Uh, 
listen, I got a call from Renee' while I was fixing ol' 
bessie here, and...well, you know how it is, I'm afraid I 
gotta' take off, but I made sure to take care of MEL, so 
she should be in good shape. All right, I'll see you 
later, Tell Dooly I said good-bye!" And before any words 
could be exchanged, he was back into the portal. which 
promptly collapsed in on itself.
     The three stared after him... or two anyway, (Dave 
still had a can on his head,) then turned to face the gore 
covered robot. She spoke in a metallic sizzle, swiveling 
her head left to right to absorb her surroundings as she 
did.
    "Where's the lizzzzzzzzzzzard." She stated, rather 
than asked, "I hate lizzzzzzzzzzzards." Then, spying him 
where he towered behind her, she rotated her body, 
spinning on her heel in a mechanical fashion, and without 
regard to wether the others followed or not, stormed off 
in that direction.
    The others followed.
    They reached the tip of the creature's tail, which 
swayed and writhed with a life of it's own as the king of 
lizards munched non-chalantly on a bus full of screaming 
passengers, but the robot kept marching. Two steps beyond 
the tail's end a strange whir emitted from MEL, and like 
a switchblade springing open, mechanized tentacles shot 
out from the robots body in all directions. There were ten 
arms total, and each was topped with a different weapon of 
mass destruction. What they would avail her against 
Godzilla had yet to be proven.
    The Widower did not follow the others, but stopped 
just beyond the tail's beginning, and launched herself ten 
feet straight up, tumbling into a somersault which 
carried her onto the upper side of the swaying protrusion. 
If the monster had noticed, then he wasn't letting on.
     The Widower began to ascend.
      When the others were halfway to the dinosaur's foot, 
they noticed something strange... A lone figure detached 
itself from a cluster of buildings some twenty feet ahead, 
and made it's way straight at the looming colossus, 
shouting all the while. From the clothes that he wore, and 
the method of his movement, they were able to discern 
almost immediately who it was. Dooly. But what was he 
yelling?
      "OOOHHH NO! THERE GOES TO-KEE-YO, GO, GO, GODZILLA! 
EEEEEE-EEEEE-EEEEE! OOOOHHHH NO! NEW YORK IS NEXT TO GO! 
GO, GO, GODZILLA! EEEEEEEEEEEE..." And so forth.
      "He's gone as mad as my mage!" Exclaimed the 
Lunatic, "What dost he?!"
      But, surveying the company he kept, he did not 
expect to receive an answer.
      "SKREEEOOOONNKKKKKKKK!"  Godzilla roared his 
trademark roar, and hurled the bus aside. The scales along 
his spine began to glow an eerie blue/white. The giant 
creature tilted it's head downward, opened it's mouth, and 
a stream of atomic fire swept forth to engulf the 
screaming Doomon king. The pavement charred and cracked 
with the intensity of the heat, cars, trucks, and random 
heavy machinery were hurled to the far end of the block by 
the force of the wind... but while the monster was 
distracted, two figures hurtled towards it.
    Leaping from the rooftops to either side of the 
creature, aided in their flight by the Druid's non-
specific magic’s, DAN and the Baroness shot like arrows 
from a bow straight towards the monstrosity's eyes!
    Sensing the attack, Godzilla abruptly ceased fire, and 
swung a giant backhand at one of the flying malefactors. 
As fortune would have it his blow, though connecting 
resoundingly, struck the more durable of the two, and DAN 
flew from the strike like a cannon shot. He streaked 
backwards through glass and stone alike, into one side of 
a building, and exploding out the other, trailing debris. 
He penetrated three buildings thusly, finally coming to 
rest in the fourth... five blocks away.
    Meanwhile, the Baroness' strike had continued 
unchecked, and her sword found the monster's eye, digging 
deep as a trowel does the earth. Godzilla roared that 
mighty roar and swung his head violently to one side in an 
attempt to dislodge the bringer of pain, but the Baroness 
clung fast. Indeed, she held on for her very life! But, 
alas her sword knew no such tenacity, and with the second 
shake of the creature's massive head it slipped free, 
taking the warrior's grip with it.
     Unbelieving, the Baroness plummeted downward, opening 
her mouth to exhale one final plea for life... but before 
any sound could rise, her sword caught up on something, 
and held! She jerked to violent stop, struggling to 
maintain her grip on the weapon, and she succeeded.
      She tilted her head back slowly, trying to see what 
had caught her sword, what had saved her life, but all she 
found was a thin silken thread which lead from the tip of 
her blade to the creature's shoulder, whereupon stood the 
Widower! Hand over hand the spider-spirit drew up her web, 
and the valiant warrior with it.
       
      While at the behemoth's feet, The guns of MEL blazed 
their hateful wrath at the joint in the back of the 
creature's knee, striking the same point repeatedly in the 
hopes that some splinter of their force would penetrate 
it's scaly hide.
      The zombie, Dave, dung-covered and be-trashcanned, 
struck uselessly at the creature's heel, hacking single 
handed with his enormous blade, but availing naught, still 
bravely, (or stupidly, though one might argue that the two 
terms were inseparable,) he kept trying.
      The Lunatic surveyed the landscape until he spotted 
his own mage, casting spells from the shelter of a nearby 
doorway. He wended his way between Godzilla's feet until 
he gained the Monk's company, and then spoke.
     "We are not enough, my loyal mage!" He shouted to be 
heard over the battle.
     "I sense that we shall soon be more!" The mage cried 
back, also to be heard over the battle and not for some 
other stupid reason.
     "But will we be enough?!" Queried Rob in a loud 
voice, (you know why.)
     the monk paused in thought, and then, slowly, nodded 
his head.
     Within seconds light erupted from the sky just over 
Godzilla's head, and those close enough to notice swore 
that they were able to hear the warm vocal undertow of a 
cow's moo.



		CHAPTER 22:


CHRIS and the cow Goddess appeared spontaneously in the 
air above the creature's head... and promptly dropped like 
stones, (because neither of them could fly.) They landed 
heavily on the flat of his skull, but Godzilla scarcely 
seemed to take notice as his attentions were rapt upon a 
fast approaching fighter jet. 
     The Cow Goddess stood, smiled, and looked around at 
the scene of carnage with an entirely detached attitude, 
while CHRIS took advantage of the monster's distracted 
state, and began pummeling him mercilessly with both 
fists.
    "Take that!" He grunted, slamming one fist after 
another into the giant's forehead, "And that... and this 
one's for your old man!"
    DAN was coming up on the creature fast in the Harrier 
which he had created during his brief hiatus from the 
battle. His finger kept the firing mechanism glued to the 
rear, and rapid fire rounds tore outward at the massive 
target. With the flick of a switch he loosed one, then 
another, sidewinder missile which flew unerringly to the 
creature's heart.
     Godzilla rocked with the force of the impact, and 
those aboard him, (I.E. the Widower, Baroness, Cow 
Goddess, and CHRIS,) were hard pressed to stay vertical as 
he flailed his limbs in order to keep upright.
     Seeing that his first pass had done little good, DAN 
pulled back hard on the flight stick, swinging the jet up 
and around to set up another pass.
      While on the ground The Lunatic saw the turn in the 
battle, saw the monster sway with the combined effect that 
their multi-leveled attacks were having upon him. His 
defenses were coming down, but not quickly enough for his 
taste. It was time to act.

     He moved out from the shelter of the doorway, leaving 
his mage to chant spells of protection for the safety of 
the team, and as he strode purposefully forward he set his 
mind to the oneness of the pack. The hunt that is the 
heritage of the wolf. A single purpose divided into many 
bodies, one consciousness which filled the minds of a 
legion... and by the time he reached the near foot of the 
creature, he WAS a pack!
     Within seconds his body had split and divided, those 
divisions forming divisions of their own, the street 
filled with lupine forms that walked with an even pace. 
There were twenty or thirty of them at least, and each one 
was identical to the others, for they were the same 
person! The Lunatics swarmed over the creature's foot, 
nearly engulfing it entirely, each one biting and clawing 
with the full force of it's strength in an all out attempt 
to weaken the monster enough to bring it down with the 
next hearty strike.
     The Widower finally drew the Baroness up onto the 
relative safety of Godzilla's shoulder, whereupon they 
were both greeted by a hovering vision of the Mad Monk.
     The ethereal form stood only inches high, but spoke 
with a clarity which penetrated both of their minds.
     "Ye' two must get yourselves to the creature's head, 
where you shall find another two of our number," He spoke, 
"MEL and DAVE have weakened the monster's left leg, while 
the Lunatic has weakened the right, and when next DAN 
strikes... Godzilla will surely fall. You must prepare 
yourselves to evacuate before this happens, or events may 
not bode well for you." And then the image vanished.
    Without hesitation, The Widower spun, (as in pivoted,) 
and spun, (as in wove,) a thread which shot to the 
monster's ear, clinging to it as if anchored there, and 
she and the Baroness began to climb towards Godzilla's 
apex.
    "Well... He certainly looks a little greener." 
Admitted the cow Goddess when CHRIS paused in his 
endeavors, to wipe the sweat from his brow with one 
shaky limb.
   "Yeah..." He breathed heavily, gulping in air like 
wine, "That oughtta'... teach the... bastard..."
   He looked up at the smiling Goddess for a moment, 
studying her features again before forming his next 
question.
   "Why, don't you do something?" He asked, "you're a 
Goddess aren't you?"
   "I don't take away wishes..." She said, exasperated, 
"I'm no Indian giver!"
   "You mean, somebody WISHED for this monstrosity!" 
Exclaimed CHRIS.
   "However indirectly... yes. Yes they did." She 
answered. Then there was no more time to talk as the 
Widower, followed closely by the Baroness, topped the 
horizon of the creature's skull.
   "We have to move quickly." Stated the spider-spirit in 
a voice that betrayed no emotion, as her hands went 
rapidly about the task of manufacturing a web something-
or-other.
   "She's right." Nodded the Baroness furiously, "The big 
guys gonna go down in a few seconds, and we DON'T want to 
be up here when it happens!"
   "You got that right!" Answered CHRIS, standing. 
   Then they heard the distant rumble of jet engines, and 
knew that their time was even less than they had thought.
   "Work faster." Whispered the Baroness. 
   The Widower took no time to answer, but continued 
adamantly in the weaving of her unwieldy constructs.
 
   Chris-the-electrician stepped from a portal a few miles 
distant to the site of the battle, and addressed the person 
he found waiting there.
   "Well, I talked to Renee' and she's all right with 
letting me stay out for a little bit more, but she told me 
to be careful, so I did a locating spell to find you, and 
here I am! ... Um, are you okay?"
   "Never been better." Wheezed Dooly.
   "What happened to you?" queried the sage, as he looked 
the Doomon king up and down.
   His skin was tanned over every inch, which was visible 
because his clothing hung from his frame in charred 
tatters, while a thin layer of soot and ash adorned his 
crown of hair, it was obvious he'd been attacked, but he 
appeared otherwise unscathed.
    "I dunno' what it was," He coughed, "One minute I was 
singin' my heart out to a stand-up audience in ol' New 
York, then the next, BAM!" He slapped his palms together 
for emphasis, "... I'm passed out on Jersey island."
    "Yeah," Chris nodded understanding, "I think we've all 
had nights like that."
    The Doomon lord eyed him quizzically, then stood and 
began walking back towards the shore.
    "I'm not gonna say a word..." He muttered.



		CHAPTER 23:


The jet shot towards the towering gargantua, screaming 
down an ally of concrete, penned in on both sides by high 
rises. 
    DAN knew that all the ammunition in the world wasn't 
going to bring this prehistoric disaster to ground, so he 
shoved the throttle up past the red line, and brought the 
Harrier in low... on a collision course with the 
creature's expansive chest.
    Metal shrieked in protest, the wind tore at the 
cockpit visor, and the body of Godzilla seemed to grow 
rapidly until it filled the whole of DAN's vision, but 
still he clutched the flight stick, holding tight with all 
his strength in order to keep the jet from breaking it's 
course to shatter uselessly against one of the surrounding 
buildings.

     The Widower, and those in her company atop Godzilla's 
head, had finished the construction of four web-gliders, 
(hey, spiderman used to make one as he fell off a 
building, so why can't she make four in more time than 
that,) which she aided the others in donning as they 
watched the jet streak closer.

     DAN had estimated, by the speed of the jet and the 
distance to Godzilla, that by the time the tip of the 
plane was past one of the especially large buildings which 
lined the street, he would have just enough time to pull 
the lever that launched his ejection seat clear of the 
fighter, and still be assured that it would continue on 
it's course to impact the creature's gut... DAN had 
estimated wrong.
     He clawed at the ejection lever, pulling it straight 
up with all the strength which a sudden surge adrenaline 
lent him.  Gas canisters released their pent up store, 
blowing the cockpit cover from it's moorings and into the 
fierce grip of the high speed winds. The cover was ripped 
away and hurled back to disappear beyond the body of the 
plane as quickly as it had been released, DAN knew then 
and there that he was going too fast, and that he was 
closer to the creature than he had counted on. 
    The nose of the Harrier crumpled against the monster's 
body even as the pilot's chair broke free of the cabin. 
The front end folded and DAN watched in horror as the body 
of the plane continued forward, scant inches beneath his 
feet, following it's foremost extremities into oblivion. 
The fuel tanks went then. Fire and wind rushed up to 
engulf him, Godzilla's scream of pain and rage filled his 
ears joining with the roar of combustion in a chorus that 
carried him aloft on a force-felt crescendo.

     Four white shapes, like giant birds of prey, 
detached themselves from Godzilla's head, even as the 
monster began to fall. Spiraling through the air in a 
dance of controlled celebration they sought a clear place 
to land, and though they were chased by chunks of fiery 
detritus they managed to swerve and dodge adeptly in an 
effort to steer clear of danger. 
     CHRIS screamed for his life, calling out his fear to 
any god, (except DAN,) that might listen, as his glider 
swayed and jostled between pieces of hurtling metal. He 
was only too happy to let the Widower guide his craft for 
him, by means of the lead "wire" she had attached to the 
front of each of their airfoils, but because of the 
obstacle which the flaming scraps presented, he found 
himself wishing that DAN could have picked a later moment 
to crash his plane.

       DAN was thinking much the same thing at that 
moment, except rather less coherently. He may have been a 
god, but gods survived by faith alone, and that faith was 
waning. He wasn't nearly as indestructible as he had once 
been, and aside from the power of creation, had lost most 
of his other abilities... that is to say: he was in some 
serious shit here, and he knew it.
        The explosive force of the conflagration shot him 
skyward, even as the intense heat of the flames seared his 
skin, and in his final moments of consciousness he 
expressed his true beliefs in an afterlife... by 
screaming.

     The gunfire from MEL's vast array of armaments had 
hammered at the joint in the monster's knee, even as the 
many wounds inflicted by the fierce strength and 
overwhelming numbers of the Lunatic had taken their toll 
on the opposite leg, and so it was that when DAN's jet 
collided squarely with it's chest the monster, though it 
fought and raged violently, was toppled.
    It fell shrieking and clawing at the structures to 
either side of the street in an effort to maintain some 
semblance of balance. Torn from the buildings the monster 
had struck out at; chunks of stone and shards of razor 
sharp glass rained down from above, striking the earth in 
a cacophonous symphony that was only overshadowed by the 
impact of Godzilla himself, which shook the entire city 
and cracked the pavement the length of the street. Windows 
shattered and fell from the faces of edifices for a mile 
in all directions, but not a person heard nor saw the 
spectacle save the heroes who had brought the beast low, 
for all were fled... or dead.
    
    "You can stop yelling now." Spoke the druid, and DAN 
opened his eyes to see James shadowy form stooping over 
him. Slowly his scream trailed away into silence, and his 
mouth formed, in it's stead, a question.
    "What the bloody hell?!" He asked, (with the 
aforementioned accent.)
    "I saw you were in trouble, and teleported you out." 
Said the Mad Monk, smirking a conceited smile, "I hope I 
wasn't too long in getting around to it, but I was sort of 
tied up in a telepathic link with Chris-the-electrician. 
Sorry."
     So saying, the Druid turned away to where a portal 
was opening not three feet distant in order to greet the 
Sage and Dooly, (now clothed in magical raiment provided 
by Chris,) as they emerged.
    "Well met, friends." He hailed, "The monster is down!"
    "But not out." Observed the Doomon lord, For Godzilla 
still writhed were he lay, dominating the space between 
crumbled structures.
     Multiple Lunatics were approaching the doorway where 
the others appeared to be regrouping, as they walked they 
blurred and melded, two joining into one, three melting 
into another, until there remained only a single entity.
    "What now?" Asked the unborn one, turning to eye the 
beast over his shoulder, "There's no way he'll stay there 
indefinitely."
    They stood a moment in thought, as still others began 
to gather about. The gliders lead by the Widower swooped 
down into a graceful landing, (where CHRIS dismounted 
eagerly, and awarded the pavement with a kiss for still 
being so nice and solid.)
    The MEL android stalked towards them through the cloud 
of dust and debris which had been kicked up by the 
monster's impact, dragging behind her a crumpled garbage 
can, which she handed to Chris-the-electrician.
    "The lizzzzzzzzard f-f-fell on your 
zzzzzzzzzzzzombie." She buzzed.
    Chris took the can offered him, looked inside, and 
promptly retched.
    "Now we need to finish him off." Said DAN, un-strapping 
himself from the flight seat, and standing.



		CHAPTER 24:


The Teammates looked around at one another, ten fingers on 
a pair of ill fitting gloves, yet still they had served 
their basic function, working well as a group.
     "You know," Said the Baroness, "We really make a well 
balanced, traditional, basic super hero team, we should 
just blow off this gods stuff and do it full time."
     "Yeah," Agreed Dooly, somewhat sarcastically, "it's a 
real hoot... But you're right, I've got nothing left to go 
back to except a big empty castle, A fellow could kind of 
get used to saving the world. What about you DAN?"
     The Doomon lord eyed him askance, and all gazes 
turned to see if this might actually be the end to a 
millennia long feud.
     "Well," Responded DAN, scratching his chin and 
smiling ever so slightly, "I suppose I could give up this 
whole "god" thing... I mean, It's not as though I ever DO 
anything anyway,  aw hell, WHY NOT!"
     And the two former enemies clasped arms in a heart 
rending gesture symbolic of unity and bonding between kith 
and kin worldwide. They smiled warmly, then turned to see 
both CHRIS and HIS former rival, Rob, embracing one 
another in a tearful hug.
     "This is great!" Shouted the Baroness, "I always 
wanted to be one of those scantily clad, big breasted, 
super team gals! It's a dream come true!"
    "I want to kill more lizzzzzzzzzards." Agreed MEL, 
smiling in anticipation.
    "Speaking of which..." Spoke the Widower, then broke 
off as she turned to see that Godzilla was no longer 
behind her!
    "What the..." uttered Chris-the-electrician.
    Everyone stopped. Puzzled looks were the rule of the 
moment, and the entire team moved out into the middle of 
the street to better search for the mythical monster.
    He was nowhere to be seen.
    "Where the hell does a ten ton lizard go!" Shouted the 
Lunatic.
    "anywhere he wants to?" Offered CHRIS. Rob glared and 
wondered if he really WANTED to be teammates with him.
    "There was no longer a need for him." Came a voice 
from the rear of the group, and they all turned to face 
the, until now, silent Cow Goddess.
    "What do you mean by that?" Queried Dooly.
    "He served his function, the wish has been fulfilled," 
She answered, smiling sweetly, "there has been a 
resolution."
    "Oh no..." Mumbled CHRIS.
    DAN and the Baroness eyes widened with understanding, 
but the others were still stumped.
    "What do you mean, 'oh no'... CHRIS?!" Asked the 
Lunatic.
    "When I summoned her I wished that this 'god war' 
would be resolved," He answered, exasperated, "and to do 
it... she caused all this!"
    "YOU did this?!" Shouted Chris-the-electrician.
    "No," Hissed the Widower, "This was not her work, but 
that of the lizard spirit! No cow was this creature!"
    "Well," answered the Cow Goddess, "It was MY idea... 
and he owed me a favor."
    "There goes the super hero idea." Drawled the Sage.
    "Why?!" Asked the baroness.
    "Because the only way we're ever going to get 
disasters big enough to merit our attention, would be to 
make them ourselves!" He answered.
    "So?!" Posed Dooly, "So what?"
    "Are you suggesting," Inquired the Druid further, 
"That we should make our own disasters simply for the 
amusement of combating them?"
    "Hell yeah!" Exclaimed the former king of the Doomons. 
"We're Demi-gods aren't we? We can do whatever we want!"
    "And this way," Added DAN, "If we have too much 
trouble beating one of the disasters by ourselves, as a 
back up... we can just undo it!"
    "OH YEAH!" Shouted the Sage enthusiastically, "Sounds 
good to me!"
    "Great." Stated the Druid, " Does anybody have any 
basic moral dilemmas concerning this plan?"
    Nobody said a word.
    "All right then," Dooly spoke up, "It's settled, from 
this day forward we're a super team, and in light of our 
unique methodology I suggest that we should be known as... 
THE PANTHEON OF ANARCHY!"
    "That may be an oxymoron." CHRIS started to argue, 
then thought better of it, "But who cares, as long as it 
sounds cool!"
    "That's the spirit!" Called the Lunatic, and clapped 
him on the back.

    And so, our heroes strode forth into a waiting 
teleportation portal, dematerializing into an unknown 
future filled with action and excitement.

                     THE END!






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