B.A.C. Cover
B.A.C. Back

Why do I bother to make a summary for this, really? It's so.. utterly pointless. There's really not much to summarize. Still, it's something I can do so I stop feeling guilty.

Goons from the Drool in the Bathroom... An inspiring tale of perseverence and survival against the odds. Yesss... A bizarre and malformed jellybean type thingy must try his courage and leap a trench to reach a wrapped SOMETHING. Alas, he fails, falling into the depths of the ditch. Will he ever reach his goal?

Doodi Doodi Dingi Doing People takes place on a plane. (Hm. Is this a reference to 9-11?! No, idiots, this is BEFORE that. Christ, everyone's always going on and on about 9-11 this and 9-11 that. u_u) A poor little orphan girl desires nice crunchy peanuts. This insane desire results in a fight to the death between the stewardess and the little girl. This one has quite the plot twist!!! Oooooh.

Victims of Defective Fajitas is a tale of father and son. They go camping (can you feel the luv?) and the son gets 'accidentally' left behind (FEEL IT!) to fend for himself. (LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!!)

By this time we are growing tired of this mindless chatter... so the book temporarily redeems itself with Wicked Juicy Ribule Fluid, which is mindless blather. (see!? not chatter, BLATHER. B-L-A-T-H-E-R.) A poor gender-neutral thing without organs that protrude from its chest or crotch is running along merrily when he sees a kiwi! He pets the kiwi, thus becoming subject to... THE EVIL KIWI CURSE! He must pet the kiwi... FOREVER. The torment!! HOW WILL HE SURVIVE?!!? Really, how? I forgot.

Umbilical Death Noogies. I am listening to a song called 'ambilical cord' right now. Neat, huh? So, this comic is supposed to 'warm your heart.' Well, I suppose if you set it on fire it would. Anyway, it is a dramatic story of an ACTUALLY loving father, his dear child and a mortar shell. Oh, and God.

Liquid Squeeges from Inner Hades suddenly reminds me of The Ring. DAMN YOU!!! Ahhhhhhhhh... it involves a well. Not scary though, thank god. Poor baby has fallen down the well. They go through much to save her and eventually - STATIC jlkgnaljgnlafdjgngkajngla - isn't that a great ending?

Licking the Rancid Corpse Thingies... oh my god I completely forgot what this one is about. o_o... Oh, yes, a lonely and frightening looking, uhm, thing. He's also suicidal. How pleasant. Wow, is there some pain in this one. whoo-eee. o_O HE LEFT HIS OVEN ON!!!!

Wet and Wobbly Prostate Potatoes is about friendship. Poor little snowman cat thing has been shot, but soon a friend approacheth. Aww, how sweet. So, ah... this is a good song. Anyway, it also includes a sub plot! How amazing. The sub plot is awesome, by the way.

Is your brain falling asleep? Goood... time for us to move in..... hehehe. Actually, no, I DON'T want your brainmeats, but thanks for offering. Imploding Weesil Spleens from the Speckled Vomit is actually quite funny. The weenies are coming.... I am frightened. Also, we see the true origin of 'Do This Smell', something I'm sure has bothered you endlessly. Was that really supposed to be a summary? Geez.

Bean infested Fecal Sausage involves the almighty puke. How fun. So, we have our mickey mouse thingy in some sort of voot thing. So, yeah, my mom is bitching at me to wear this UGLY ASS VEST... u_u oh. Yeah. I'm summarizing, not blogging. So then the flying thingy goes nuts and stuff and we watch the carnage.

Fondling the Intestinal Meat Niblets is actually somewhat sensical! And, might I add, hillarious. A little moose is all happy and singing and stuff when a dooky vampire bunny attacks! So, after sucking the shit (literally) out of our moosey friend, he goes off. Our friend begins to undergo a change.... oh god I love his 'change.' After his change to a 'lusty minion of darkness', he goes off to find a victim... and.. well, sucks the shit outta him. (Yeah, it is really fucking nasty... and it gets worse, too. Reminds me of burritos.) He soon discovers that he does not enjoy this new life, and seeks to end it... xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD god I love this.

Throbbing Evil Wedgies of Nocturnal Squeezy Cheeze has more flying things!! Wheeee! This time the airborn object in question is a PIG. Neat. He is worried about giant concrete peanuts in his path, because suddenly he cannot control his flight. Oh dear...

Wrenching the Magical Meat Moosys... my goodness, that marshmallow bear cat thing reminds me of Syd. How frightening. Well, anyone who knows Syd should know where this is going when a little boy-thing approaches... The boy perseveres, yet... Well. YOU'LL NEVER KNOW, WILL YOU?!

When The Peanuts Wept is another one that I completely forgot. o.o .:: shock ::. so it's about aliens. And um, the aliens crash, and only one survives. He repents, and decides not to destroy the planet. Will he honor his new life? My goodnes, I just don't know. :o

Nailing the Crotch of the Token Fox Boy is quite ridiculous.. but hell, isn't the entire book? To quote the introductory panel 'Rather than end the book with just one stupid comic!! This one will be special!! Each panel with (hee) will be the end of a comic I never bothered to do!! Isn't it funny!! Yes. It is funny. Ha!! Ha!! Ha!! I don't feel good.'

Something Like a Conclusion is just a little ending documentary interview thing you might see on PBS if only the BAC were something intelligent and respectable. But it's not, so you won't.